this is GROSS. but i eat my pubic hair and scabs and more..

The reason I ask is that I had a "dry birth" "forceps delivery"....long labor. I am wondering if that
didn't contribute to my hyper-sensitivity of my skin/hair/body.

The truth is that I am a clairvoyant by trade. That means I MAKE MY LIVING out of my
hypersensitivity. What is wrong with me is what is RIGHT with me.

If our hypersensitivity is a neurological condition...its possible our nerves were damaged
from an early stage in life and are still recovering from the shock.

I have done almost every kind of holistic therapy there is. I did Rebirthing (it helped).
I have benefitted from Jin Shen Do, Reiki, Rohun Therapy, Polarity, Hellerwork, Brain Gym,
Biofeedback, Acupuncture, Cranial Sacral Therapy, and many others too.

If our birth experience was "life or death" (as mine, most likely was back in l948), it
makes a kind of sense that we would have a hyper-alertness....hypervigilience, hyper-sensitivity to anything that would help us survive.

I am quite certain that it had survival value for humans during the phase of our evolution to
be able to find things to eat as we (semi) hibernated away through long winters without adequate nutrition of fresh food. It would make sense that eating one's own body sloughings could keep us alive a few more days in a pinch.

Protein is protein. Even sperm is made of pure protein!

If we "trich" babies are all in SURVIVAL mode...then our behaviors would be "normal" from
that point of view.

Our inner systems are hard-wired to be anxious and alert and nervous...causing continual stress to survive. Without others tending to these anxiety needs on a constant basis (what parent, hospital or teacher could really hope to take care of such engulfing needs on a constant basis),
we have learned to resort to "self maintenance."

It is said that infants will suck their thumb when after crying a very long time, no one comes to comfort them. They learn to emotionally support themselves in that moment. Its possible trich behaviors fall into the same category psychologically. I know I generally feel alone to meet my needs, even in my marriage. I have even married a man who is not generous at touching. Good man, but not affectionate.

Many of us experience trauma and emotional shock in our teens. Reesearch shows that teens are the LEAST TOUCHED group in American society. If many of us started this behavior in our teens, could it be a response to our needs to be touched and a lack of any loving people around willing to do it? In my case, I was not touched in a healthy way by either parent.

Both my parents smoked, for example. (It is said that smokers touch others less than any other group in society.)

I continue to struggle with "touch hunger".....and could benefit from daily head and body massage, if I would make it a priority to put in my budget. I would love in particular, the slow, gentle and nourishing kind. (Not choppy or stimulating).

I am bringing up a variety of thoughts here and would welcome hearing any comments you may have to this.

One of my therapists warned me not to "label myself" when I shared my story.
I'd say: "I pull my hair. That's sick." "I am messy, that's dumb."

He said, "No...just say what you do, don't label it. I think he's right about that. We are not gross. We are just suffering people with symptoms.

One more thought. I have a shopping addiction too. Research shows that if a person touches an object in a store, that they are MUCH MORE LIKELY to buy it than if they don't touch it. (Why are we encouraged to Test Drive a car? Take it home tonight!).

Having this hypersensitivity to touch could be revelant in controlling my shopping and tendency to hoard. Any thoughts on this? Any others have this issue as well?

I am thinking my Orajel discovery could be helpful before going shopping. Putting a bit of the
baby mouth numbing agent on fnger tips before I go to the store so I am less likely to be seduced by the texture and feel and fragrance and MAGNETISM of the item.

Well this is enough for one message.

Thanks for bearing with me through all these thoughts.

You are not alone. Thank you for bravely sharing. Now I know that I am not alone. I could have written your post almost word for word.

In regards to the post asking about childhood experiences. I know my mom left me to cry because that's what her mom told her to do.

Dear Tremble
It breaks my heart to hear how you've suffered. I could imagine a "trich" support group...
if we all lived near one another, where we not only shared our stories, but offered each other
gentle, patient, soothing touch in a quietly lit and safe room....
Not sexual...but healing.

Your answer helps me know I need to make more effort to put something like this in my life.
Its not JUST ME.

The thing is, I find that its hard for me to trust a lot of massage therapists, even friends when I'm
on the table (I have the equipment, the hot stones, the head massage spring thing, even a massage bed called a Migun bed)....but the person has to be hyper-safe and gentle for me to be able to
truly relax.

I know they won't hurt me on purpose, but some are too unconscious to get how deeply I need
the right kind of energy.

Going to unconscious hair dressers is also hard. If they chop my "antenna" without reverence,
I am made very upset and never go back. Well, you know.

Thanks so much for affirming these feelings.

WOW! This is the first time that I have ever heard someone describe the things I have lived with for years. I have shared with a few of my friends and husbands trichotillomania issues but not the other stuff. that I have never talked about to anyone. I'm not shamed by what I do. I get some kind of payout for it or I would not do it. I have had the best therapist ever and what he allowed me to realize is that I want to do it and don't want to stop! And it is ok. I am to the point that I freely talk to people about trichotillomania and what it is. and that I live with it. For anyone how who feels that they are bad for doing what they do, DONT! When I was younger I would allow something to start me to pull and I would pull out all of my upper eyelid clean. Then I would hate on my self for doing it and I must of been a bad person for doing it. I started at the age of 8 and I am now turning 42. The last year with Jim I taught him many things about trichotillomania. I hope that he can help them as well as he has with me on accepting that we are how we are and we must love who we are regardless how weird it may seem to other people. Remember It's not about other people but about you. embrace it, don't allow it to be a tool to make you feel bad about your self. Lesson for me is Remember to Remember. Remember to stay in the moment and be grateful for the blessings that we have attracted into our life. Release any unproductive thought energy from our beings and paint the picture of life that reflects the inner being that we are inside weather big or small all the pieces fit in perfect order to create the happiness that we desire. Share love and kindness with the other souls on our soul bus. Make it a daily routine apon your first waking thought is to Remember to Remember. Love your self. The hole thing about telling your boyfriend about the trichotillomania I would, but for the other things really think it through first. What we do can create quite the mental picture that could make them love you more or push them away. Just food for thought.

Thanks for your most loving positive and helpful message. Its a winner!
Self acceptance is so important. You expressed this beautifully.

And I love the phrase "Soul Bus". Brilliant!

Okay... I found this post on Google when I typed in "feels like big zits in my hair" because I was trying to find out why I have this nasty scalp condition haha random. Anyway, I was intrigued so I read your post and, yeah, I'll be honest, I was grossed out..
You know what though, I'm not the freakiest person out there but we've all done stuff to ourselves that's a little weird or gross behind closed doors. Don't let the way people feel obliged to act in public fool you into thinking that you're the only disgusting person out there and everyone else is "normal". We're all a bit messed up beneath the surface so don't be horrible to yourself.
I would think that your level of experimentation and the addiction to it does, however, seem to deviate from the norm. Sounds like you might have a problem with OCD. But then I could be the one who isn't normal, who knows? Really hope you figure this one out and stay off the dope (I only say that because my brother legitimately has psychological problems as a result of smoking weed. Very sad). Take care

For the person who has found this site because it feels like they have zits in their hair...
you might want to consult the readings of Edgar Cayce. You can learn more at the site:
*mod edit*
Psoriasis can be cured quite quickly (if it is that, or similar to that), by a particular diet,
(I think excluding bananas for one thing), and having colonics....due to improper digestion...
not sure if I have these details right....so I'd consult his readings to be clear.
Many of our problems in life are an allergic reaction to food we're eating.
For instance, I recently learned that many folks with deafness or wax buildup are likely
allergic to milk and dairy products!
There is so much we don't know.
Good luck and thanks for stopping by.

Trickhat wrote:For the person who has found this site because it feels like they have zits in their hair...
you might want to consult the readings of Edgar Cayce. You can learn more at the site:
*mod edit*
Psoriasis can be cured quite quickly (if it is that, or similar to that), by a particular diet,
(I think excluding bananas for one thing), and having colonics....due to improper digestion...
not sure if I have these details right....so I'd consult his readings to be clear.
Many of our problems in life are an allergic reaction to food we're eating.
For instance, I recently learned that many folks with deafness or wax buildup are likely
allergic to milk and dairy products!
There is so much we don't know.
Good luck and thanks for stopping by.

Thank you for the information Trickhat! I'll definitely look into that

I do it too. I felt so weird for it. It may sound weird, but thank for posting this, I feel so much better. I don't even think abut doing it,it's a habit for me, I can't help it. I also used to eat my hair.

I need help too. I do that and more. I eat my scabs and keep picking them on my head. I have bald spots but I can’t stop picking. I eat my pubic hair and my discharge... It started with pulling sand out of my hair at the beach in middle school which led to pulling dandruff’s and eating them. I then started to also eat my eyebrow hair and eyelashes. I also can’t stop myself from reading inappropriate books... I am just going to say now that I am not 18+ yet and I have ADHD and Anxiety. Can someone help?