New here

Hi Everyone...
I just found this site, and joined instantly!
I could really use the help from other people that are in the same boat as I am.
I have been a hair puller since August 2004. I remember the day very clearly.
I had just gotten married, and switched positions at work. My new positon was very boring, I wasn't as active as I was in the old one. I remember standing there, bored. My hand resting on my head. I felt a weird hair that felt different from the rest and pulled it out. I continued to search my head for more weird hairs... And the rest is history. I remember freaking out telling my friend at work that I did this and I was starting to get a little bald spot. Another girl said I think that's called something. Then just this year I saw on 20/20 a little segment about Trichotillomania and I cried. There were people just like me. I wasn't alone. My husband watched it with me too. He was stunned. He thought I was just a weirdo who pulled my hair for no reason.
It wasn't until this year after I had my baby in July that I really got bad. I would sit there with my baby in the rocking chair while she slept and I would just pull and pull, almost in a daze. Watching movies is the worst. I will pull a massive amount of hair from my head while watching one. I have a huge bald spot on my right side of head and a small few in the back that can get covered up. I feel so horrible about myself now. I don't like to go out and I'm so self consious of the bald spot on the side that can't get covered up very well.
Everyone used to comment on my thick hair, and now it's thinner then my 13 week old daughters.
They say for drug addicts they won't get help until they've reached their bottom. Well I am at my bottom. I want my hair back, I want to go out and get my hair cut again, and dyed and styled! I don't want to try covering up my bald spots with Black Halloween Goop I found at Walmart, I'm tired of wearing my hair in a high pony tail at the top of my head to try and mask the spots, I'm tired of quickly gathering up the mess of plucked hairs from the carpet and the back of the couch and hiding it at the bottom of the garbage can before my husband gets home. I want to be me again!
So... slowly...I am getting there. I have tried to stop many a times but never successfully. Now since I am at my bottom (because I've got bald spots now) I have really started to stop.
So Cliche as it may sound...I am taking it one day at a time. I have started to stop myself for about 1 month now! I admit to still pulling hairs out, But only 1-2 a day. And that's a feat considering I could pull as many as 10 in one swirl of my fingers!
I am so excited for the day when I don't do it at all, don't think about it at all. Don't care about it at all! I will have a thick, luscious full head of hair as I once had, and people will comment on it again.
I will let my husband run his fingers through my hair as he once did...and not be embarassed about the thiness, and spiky little hairs trying to grow back.
That's what I hope for....now it's up to me to achieve it.
Wish me luck.

Razz, you must hate me for always replying to your posts but, just so you know, this forum (Trichotillomania Forum) is quite 'dead'. I mean, just look at the oter threads here... ...look at the dates. There havn't been many recent ones. I'm pleased that you are coping better wit your problem though. Personally, I only suffered from this when I was younger but I just 'grew out of it' as they say. I guess that the closest I come to it now is biting my nails everyday, but the results of this aren't as noticeable as a bald patch on your head.

Anyway, keep it up my friend. You seem to be in control. Above all else, try to maintain control.

Kevin

hey i found this awesome site, i was a member of it for a while but i didn't go anymore when i heard of this one as trich isn't a massive thing in my life. it's a completly trich centred site so you may want to try it out

http://lilboh-nfl.dnsalias.com/trich/mo ... ame=Forums

glad to hear you're getting better, and congrats on the baby! xxx

Razz,

I know sometimes it seems like it's an impossible task to quit pulling, but you can do it. I started pulling when i was 4 years old and did it for over 30 years before I finally stopped. Along the way I tried just about everything and nothing worked long-term. What worked for me might not work for you, but you can find something that will help you overcome the urge. Good luck...you'll find the answer soon.

Razz,

I am glad you have found the strength to overcome the urge to pull. Sometimes boredom causes the urge to pull, but it is usually exacerbated during times of high stress.

My worst period was last year and I have almost quit, but probably will never totally be able to resist the urge. I remember as a child, 50 years ago, twirling my hair during stressful times. I didn't know then that the habit was a precursor to trich.

So many times, people with trich are seeking symmetry or to get rid of the "abnormalities either within their hair or even on their skin.

Whatever the reason for doing it, it can be a very worrisome habit to say the least.

Again, best wishes on your efforts to control your pulling and with your new baby as well.

Best,

B