Is this a normal way to feel?

I'm 20 years old and from England. I've been suffering with trichotillomania for about 4 years but have only recently been looking into what it actually wrong with me, and why I am doing this to myself.
I am always finding myself looking for a hair to pull out, and I get this great sense of happiness/relief when I do it. And no matter what I say to myself I cannot stop. I find myself sticking the hair to things and when there is loads there I usually get upset and pull it all off.
I feel disgusting but no matter what I do I cannot stop myself from doing it. It started with my eyelashes and eyebrows. I lied to my family about pulling them, and eventually started pulling my head hair thinking it would be easier to keep a secret. Now I pull from areas people cannot see.
It doesn't hurt at all just feels great at the time, but I feel so awful afterwards and get really upset. I want to talk to somebody and get better but I'm terrified of being judged and not believed. I feel so alone and that what I'm doing is weird and disgusting.
Is this a normal way to feel?

Welcome Unigirl96 ,

I would suggest that you look into some counseling . They are not there to judge , they are there to help . A good counselor can recommend behavioral therapies that can help you control your impulse to pull .

It's not "weird" or "disgusting" . You have an impulse control problem that you need help to overcome . If you are struggling with speaking outright about trich , you could seek counseling for anxiety and as you become more comfortable with your therapist , it may be easier to bring up the trich . You aren't alone in this . You aren't "not normal ' .

You have the strength to overcome this . A good therapist can give you the tools .

I wish you well .

Hi Unigirl!

I personally have felt the same way that you are feeling. It's not physically hurting you, and it feels satisfying, however the damage is done when it causes you to feel ashamed or weird. For me it has been a huge blow to my confidence in both my outward appearance and in my character. I started going to a therapist to get help and it really has been a huge help. Trich is very common (200,000 cases per year in the US alone, and that's reported cases!) but i think the main reason people don't talk about it is shame and fear of being judged. That is the same reason that I do not tell anyone outside of my close circle, and why it was so hard to even first post on this forum.

If you aren't interested in seeing a therapist, I recommend looking at the "What helps you not pull" forum on this website: trichotillomania/topic66489.html

Also, the TLC Foundation has tons of information, support groups, cutting edge research, events, etc. here: http://www.bfrb.org/learn-about-bfrbs/trichotillomania

Good luck! And remember, this is impulse is to pull is not abnormal, it is your brain craving a release and a sensation. Though other people may not understand it isn't anything to be ashamed of and it is something you can definitely work on to reduce your behavior or cut it out all together if that is what you really want!

Hi Unigirl,

I'm also 20 and have been suffering with trich for around 10 years now, I started on my eyelashes and then moved to my brows and now have moved to pubic hair as well as eyebrows.

I don't pull my lashes anymore because my parents would police it, but I really feel your pain. I get the relief but it is never enough and before I know it I've pulled a lot and then the guilt sets in. I'm currently getting help for anxiety and coming to terms with the fact that even though it's hidden, my trich is still a problem. I'm currently having counselling and CBT to try and combat the anxiety which is bringing a lot of old feelings to the surface, so you might find that helpful. It's tough but you're not alone!

It took me a long time to open up to people and it does help but I understand that it's terrifying. If you want to chat feel free to get in touch via PM or replying.

I really hope you can help to overcome this, it's a battle that is really damn hard!

Lizze