My First Time Admitting This

Hello,
I am an English girl and I have had trich since I was 7 years old, I was diagnosed after I admitted to my mum that I had a bald spot on my head and it was my fault it was there. Since then it has been a constant battle, at the age of 9 my mum had all of my hair cut very short in her hope that the shorter regrowth wouldn't take very long to catch up with the rest of it and it would grow out, I would be cured, end of story. This unfortunately did not happen, the rest of the hair grew longer again and i continued to infrequently pull out my hair. Therapy at such a young age did nothing for me, I cannot remember anything the therapist told me and it had no effect at the time.
I started high school in 2011 and for the first three years of highschool I didn't really pull that much, until last december when it has started to get very very bad again. I had fairly long hair, about down to my armpit, with a full fringe across my forehead (or 'bangs' as they're called across the pond). At the point that my centre parting meets the top of my fringe I have pulled a lot, so much that there is a patch of scalp about an inch square that sits at the top of my fringe where all the hair is between a few mm long and an inch long. I have had to part my hair increasingly further to the left so that regrowth and bald spots are hidden by longer hair. The hair along my parting is sparse, and I have to use a very fine toothed nit comb to get a clear parting, this makes me feel better about it as I feel it looks less thin. I also pull a lot at the crown of my head, so the top of my head is a warren of patches of very short hair and hair that is very long.
I have seen several posts talking about 'fat roots' or 'juicy roots' and I feel that I can relate to this really well, when I am pulling I am on a search for a hair with the sheath of clear jelly at the end so that I can rub it on my lip and then eat the end of it. It sounds completely disgusting to type it out all at once, but whilst I'm doing it its the most satisfying thing in the world.
I really don't know what to do about it any more. I don't talk to people openly about it, only my closer friends, none of whom suffer with it or anything even vaguely similar so the response is often "Just don't pull it out it's not hard", or like phrases.
I felt that I needed to get all of this out.
It is extremely comforting to see other people with the same experiences talking about them.
Thank you,

trich_girl

Hey!

I started pulling when I was 8. 34 now, and I'm still doing it. Glad you're on here talking about it! I used to be terrified to tell anyone, and the only people who knew were my immediate family and best friend at the time. I've become much more open with it in recent years, and while I can't say that every single person understands, most people are much more supportive than I expected, and it is really freeing to be able to discuss it openly with people. Good luck to you, and I hope you continue to share with people.

Also, if you are trying to stop, good luck to you. It's hard. I've personally just reached a point of acceptance where I've decided I am just going to live with it and if other people don't like it then oh well.