How does one get a loved one into therapy

Hi, I've seen several posts here by people who have already succeeded in getting their spouse or other loved one to acknowledge their problem and undertake therapeutic treatment.
Can somebody advise me how this was managed?
My wife has a deeply ingrained delusion that she is being stalked by an vast, free-form gang, all controlled by somebody who lived near her some two years ago. The wealth, technical know-how and ability to recruit others with which she credits this person are not to be believed. Today we had another anguished discussion in which she told me, quite seriously, that it is possible to over-ride FM radio signals, superimposing a broadcast of songs or advertisements meant to insult or intimidate her. My disbelief and skeptical questions sparked an argument which ended with her intransigent silence.
I don't know what to do. If I thought she was suicidal, I could have her commited to a facility, which might result in her receiving treatment. But she is not so I cannot.

Hi Dowel01,

Your wife needs help right now! How do you know she's not suicidal ? She's psychotic and someone in this state of mind is very unpredictable. She's under a lot of distress because all her thoughts are very real to her and no matter what you say will never convince her otherwise...trust me I know. I also thought my husband was not suicidal and at times I thought I was getting through to him. Like you I was so overwhelmed...I would start off calm but by the end of our conversation, I would be crying and yelling at him...not a good idea. He too would just look at me and be quite. At one time, I even asked him if he had thoughts of harming himself and he said," NO, he would never do that". The next day he almost ended his life...it's a miracle he's alive. I've learned not to trust because he's so sick that he's unable to make a rational decision. I was told by his psych. doc. to call 911 if he will not agree to see a doctor.

In my post,you asked me what triggers his delusion? I believe it's stress or certain demands in his life that overwhelm him that suddenly effects his mood. He usually starts to withdraw ,starts feeling guilty of past situations,becomes anxious ,unable to sleep, he starts sharing his psychotic beliefs and behaves very manic. His delusion seem to be more episodic ...he clearly needs help. Although, I now know that in the past he seemed to be fully recovered but he was still with holding beliefs from his therapists and I. So, these issues were never resolved and he was living mildly paranoid. When he got stressed out all of these ideas intesified and were distorted to fit the perfect persecution plot.

good luck

Thank you, deperatehopeful . Your advice is difficult for me to process. I'm unsure under what grounds a man (or woman) can have his (or her) spouse committed, or forced into treatment. But I'll investigate it.
I believe that the triggering event in my wife's condition was similar to those you cite in your husband's recurrences; she was going through a difficult time in her professional career and feeling isolated. I'd hoped that a more secure environment would help the situation. So far, it has not.
I am, myself, seeing a therapist, with whom I've discussed my wife's issue. I'll discuss the possible legal and medical issues involved in forcing her into treatment.

Hi Dowel 01

I totally agree with you, it very difficult to have your spouse sent to psychiatric facility. I also couldn't do it....I kept saying to myself I could help him...I'll keep him safe...he'll come out of it. But it is impossible to keep the house in a complete safe lock down mode. My husband himself has told me I should not trust him and I should take him to a facility if this happens again. So, it's not just beneficial for them but also for us because we could relax, have a goodnight sleep and know our love ones are safe. It will still be very tough to go visit them at a psychiatric facility. I remember sitting in the parking lot of the facility crying could't believe this was happening to our family. I felt so sorry for him and at the same time I was in disbelief...this is a man who is very intelligent,holds down a demanding,high position job,very responsible but yet is so ill that he's at a psychiatric ward.

During his stay I also received counseling which helped me understand and deal with this mental illness. I learned the importance of meds. If wife hasn't taken any psychiatric meds, it will take about to weeks for her to start showing signs of improvement. There are a lot of new anti-psychotic meds that have less side effects such as Abilify, Geodon and Risperdal these meds are usually prescribed with an anti depressant. If she's very anxious and aggitated they'll also prescribe an anti anxiety like lorazapam for a short term. Once these meds. start kicking in therapy is very helpful not until this time will she have insight of what has happen to her and will start questioning her thoughts. The good thing is that people with delusional disorder recover if they take their meds. and go to therapy.
I believe people with persecutory delusion are in the most danger of harming themselves because their in such mental distress but at the same time they are more willing to accept psychiatric help. Other types of delusional disorders such as, jealousy DD, it's very difficult for them to seek psychiatric help, making their spouse's life a living hell.

good luck,
Desperatehopeful

Hi Dowel01,

I'm just wondering how everything is going?

take care,
Desperatehopeful

Hi Desperatehopefull - There's been no outward change. She's currently not working, on a form of family leave. I'm not so concerned about the loss of income as I am her sitting at home, isolated.
I sense that she is deeply upset in ways she finds difficult to express to me.
I honestly do not know what to do.
Thanks for asking.
I hope all is well with you and your husband.

I'm sorry to hear about your wife...just remember to take care of yourself. (I know it's easier said than done) Hopefully, you have some family or friend support to help you get through this difficult time.

My husband is doing well. I thank God every day that my husband is living in peace and is able to enjoy life with his family.

Have you tried to seek help from your wife's general practioner? Maybe, she would be more open to see this type of physician instead of a psychaitrist. You could say you're concerned about her physical well being. I believe her general practioner would be able to observe her mental state, sometimes you have to resort to these actions so treatment could be started. She might be upset with you in the beginning but as she starts to recover she'll gain more insight of her thoughts and might even thank you. She might also become desperate enough to accept medical help because there is no doubt that she feels miserable with all those thoughts of persecution tormenting her.
The fact that she trusts you is a good thing and if you reassure her that you'll do everything to keep her safe perhaps, she'll agree to be helped.

I wish you luck,
Desperatehopeful

desperatehopeful, I very much appreciate your advice. As she is from another country, she currently does not have a regular doctor here in the U.S. I've been encouraging her to find one, but it is a relatively low priority with her. The closing line of your most recent post, dated Aug. 8th, pretty much contains my only strategy or plan of action. But I can't seem to approach the subject of her fears without provoking a deeply negative response and her closing down.
I need to find a gentler approach.
I am very glad that your husband is doing well and able to enjoy a normal family life.
Thanks for your advice.

Dowel01 wrote:Hi, I've seen several posts here by people who have already succeeded in getting their spouse or other loved one to acknowledge their problem and undertake therapeutic treatment.
Can somebody advise me how this was managed?
My wife has a deeply ingrained delusion that she is being stalked by an vast, free-form gang, all controlled by somebody who lived near her some two years ago. The wealth, technical know-how and ability to recruit others with which she credits this person are not to be believed. Today we had another anguished discussion in which she told me, quite seriously, that it is possible to over-ride FM radio signals, superimposing a broadcast of songs or advertisements meant to insult or intimidate her. My disbelief and skeptical questions sparked an argument which ended with her intransigent silence.
I don't know what to do. If I thought she was suicidal, I could have her commited to a facility, which might result in her receiving treatment. But she is not so I cannot.

Tell her to override the FM radio signals herself and intimidate the bullies back. Either it'll work and you can apologise to her, or it won't and she might just accept that she's delusional.

s