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Disappointing the therapist

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Disappointing the therapist

Postby Akir » Wed Feb 21, 2018 5:27 pm

So I am in therapy since Jun. It all started with my relationship with my husband. We tried everything. Even couple seasons. My therapist thinks that my marriage is over and that I can not fall in love with my husband again . Today I told her that I know that I am not happy and that I will not fall in live with him again and she told me that she believed that I am a smart woman and she feels dissaapointed with me. I don't know how to feel about that as one of the issues I have that made me start the therapy is that I feel that I need to pleasure everyone. So my question is, is it OK for the therapist to tell you something like that?
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Re: Disappointing the therapist

Postby Wally58 » Fri Feb 23, 2018 10:48 am

I don't think that the therapist was trying to pass judgement. It may not have been intended to come across that way and if it was, you need to have it explained better.
Always feel free to ask a therapist to explain what they said in greater detail if it comes across as confusing. It is what they are paid for.
Therapists may call us out when we are not thinking in our best interests, but they should be supportive of our 'appropriate' goals. Like a stepping stone to get from here to there.
It is just as easy to fall out of love as it is to fall in love. People change and decide to part company through no fault of their own. This happens everyday.
Relationships are the toughest because the therapist doesn't have to walk in your shoes and doesn't have to live with what you live with. Some of the best therapists have lived through this.
Will you continue with therapy? It isn't unheard of to change therapists when we (or they) need to.
Best of luck to you. :D
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Re: Disappointing the therapist

Postby Akir » Fri Feb 23, 2018 6:20 pm

I am still thinking if I should stay on therapist. She kept asking me if I wish to stop now that I made my decision. It felt like she wanted me to stop.
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Re: Disappointing the therapist

Postby Wally58 » Sat Feb 24, 2018 3:02 pm

I feel that you should continue if you need it. After you have made the decision to end the relationship, then maybe now the discussion with the therapist will shift into dealing with a sense of loss and determining a new direction for you, your hopes and dreams.
It is a big life change, but I also hope that it brings you some relief and new freedom. Continue with seeking support from multiple sources.
Ongoing therapy can get expensive. I found that 12-step support groups offered me the support of my peers when I felt that I had out-grown my therapist. I put a dollar in the basket as it is passed around, enjoy my cup of coffee and the fellowship with new-found friends.
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