The only thing I get from therapy is anger and frustration

I quit seeing a therapist a few months back as I didn't feel it was helping me, I've seen many therapists in my life and none of them have helped me in the slightest. I have terrible OCD -obsessional thoughts, I have this main problem of feeling the need to count things all the time, like constantly. It really tortures me so I chose this therapist cos she seemed like she was an OCD specialist on her site but after about 12 or so sessions I told her I didn't see the point in continuing as I wasn't feeling we were making any progress.

Thing is I have unresolved anger towards one of my past therapists from many years ago, she was in a nutshell an idiot. She got me to do this CBT work writing in journals affirmations all that stuff, when she suggested that I told her that I'd tried that before and it hadn't helped. Her response was 'well, we're going to try it again.'

It's like ok, but after numerous sessions and hundreds of diary entries monitoring my 'negative thoughts' and challenging them to be more 'rational' I said to her that this isn't really working for me. She didn't want to have a bar of it and told me that I obviously 'don't want to get better.'
Which to me was a real kick in the guts and after that our sessions became more like war, I became quite critical of her because I was really hurt and angry plus the frustration that I wasn't getting better and I began to hate her. Eventually I left and later on saw another female therapist her approach was different she was everything the first wasn't open minded, not dogmatic and no pointless journals.

But nothing changed we would just talk and I found myself becoming frustrated all over again and developed intense anger towards her which wasn't justified she was a good therapist but she wasn't able to help me. I think there was some kind of transference between how I felt about the first therapist towards her. So after that I resolved to see no more female therapists I saw a few male ones but they weren't much help either but I never felt the anger towards them like the 2 women I saw.

So after a long break of many years from therapy I decided to give it a go again last year, as my OCD is really bad at the moment. And I chose to see a female as I thought well maybe I could give one a go again, but I was surprised to find after several sessions that my old anger I used to feel in therapy was coming up again. I ended up storming out of her office as we got into an argument over the treatment during our last session.

She sent me an email apologizing saying she hadn't meant to offend me and that if I wanted to come back to therapy anytime I was welcome. So I'm wondering what to do she said that I was resistant to her ideas, but there was only one experiment that I didn't want to do as I didn't see how it would benefit me, the other experiments I did I didn't feel like they really helped in any way. But maybe I just should have stuck it out longer and maybe I just wasn't committed enough to the therapy.
I don't want to go back to therapy because I don't feel it helps much, and the anger really gets in the way and its really expensive. At the moment me and my sister are saving up for a holiday to USA to go to next year as I've never been before but I wouldn't be able to afford to save for it and do therapy at the same time.

But still my OCD remains unresolved torturing me every day, my life is going nowhere I don't know what to do. I don't know how to solve these problems on my own.

Man, I have the SAME problem with therapy.

I suppose the stereotyped answer would be: RESISTANCE.

In therapy, as well as with family members actually, if I feel like I'm being coerced into doing something that will supposedly "benefit" me (and, I admit, it actually MIGHT HELP)....I won't do it. Call it resistance, call it denial, rebellion......I think that it all hinges on the delivery. I have ALWAYS benefited and been interested in personal behavioral modification, only when it's something I pursue because I'm personally interested in it and find it fascinating and I came upon it while reading something.

Not when others claim that such-and-such a technique, or method, or therapy, or "advice", or "suggestion"......is perceived by me, to be THRUST at me, or requested of me (with an ultimatum attached, of course). I lose interest completely and go into rebellion/resistance mode. Absolutely.