Keeping in touch with old therapist

Hi, I hope it's okay to post

I saw a private psychologist twice a week for just over a year and we built up a very strong professional relationship and she was the first professional I felt I could trust. Her usual fee was £80-100 but she agreed to see me for £40 a session. She allowed me to contact her between sessions free of charge when things were hard. I was admitted to hospital for 2 weeks with a severe bowel infection and she kept in touch throughout. I started to talk progress in therapy even though after saying a bit of the past I dissociated. I saw her at her house as she had a home office. She took maternity leave from December and was due to come back in September. She kept in brief contact during her maternity leave. She emailed me in July and wanted to meet me face to face. We met and she found it very hard to tell me that she has decided to take a career break. I found this hard at first, although lots of other things had happened prior to this that were building up and I just broke down. My parents were away that weekend and my brother was away. I felt very unsafe and she realised that. She didn't let me leave and rang my GP surgery and they said to take me to A&E. She said we can either do it the easy way (get in a taxi) or she will have to call 999. She came to a&e with me and stayed with me for 8 hours. I had to have a MH assessment and they wanted to admit me but after a lot of discussion, we decided that if my parents were called and I agreed to see the crisis team, we could give that a go. My parents didn't know I was seeing a private therapist so my psychologist left just before my parents arrived. I wasn't allowed go leave the hospital until I was assessed and my therapist went to get my a coffee and a scarf from over the road because I was cold. I am touched she stayed with me so long but I feel bad as I know she found it very hard.

I saw the crisis team and things started to improve once I was stabilised on different medication.

My therapist emailed me a few months ago to say she was thinking of me and wondered how I am. I emailed back as it was nice to hear from her. I asked if it would be okay go stay in touch and she said she would love to.

I emailed her with a brief update last week and she sent a lovely email. She thanked me for my email and congratulated me for finishing my degree and encouraged me to keep going with the therapist for a while until deciding what to do. She said thanks again for making contact. When she met with me in July to tell me about her career break, she said she would like to send me the photo I liked in her home office. She used it a lot to ground me and I liked it. I hadn't been able to accept it but last week I emailed and said it would be lovely to accept it and asked her if she can send it in the new year as I think it will be a nice start to a new year.

Do you think it's normal for her to want to stay in touch with me? I don't think she will be doing this with her other past clients. She seemed to really understand although I don't know why she wants to keep in touch but it's nice nonetheless.

Thanks for reading.

I think that it could be a wonderful friendship. A bond of empathy can grow between the therapist and their patient.
I have had help from clergy, doctors, mentors, administrators, group therapy peers and roomfuls of AA members. I have been asked to stay in touch and I like to do likewise. We are stronger together than apart.
There is some reassurance in knowing that people that have touched our lives continue to do well and they are reassured likewise. People do actually care about each-other when faced with similar struggles and pit-falls. It grows a common bond. It can be disturbing when someone drops out and we never hear from them again. Even when someone obviously isn't doing well, I sometimes feel an obligation to assist them.
Therapists are human too. They have been through life's joy's and sadnesses. Many have been through the same things that bring us to them for help in the first place.
Having us go through our process of recovery helps many of them through theirs. She did confide in you about taking a break. She may not have been able to share that with just anyone. She felt comfortable in telling you and it probably lowered her stress level being able to share that. One day at a time. We are all in this together.
Only if you felt uncomfortable with it or thought that the person wanted to stay in touch for reasons that you wouldn't agree with, would I recommend that you reconsider.
However, I see no red flags mentioned here.

Hi Gingerlilly,

That's great to hear you have such a good relationship with your therapist. There are some special therapists out there who do genuinely care above and beyond their job description. It shows great empathy and a genuine concern about your well being.

However, I would like to point out that there are strict ethics and laws in place to protect clients. In the UK it's the BPS and registration board, in the US it's the APA and relevant state licensing boards and in Australia it's the APS and national registration board that set these guidelines and laws.

The relationship between a psychologist and client should be safe, confidential non-judgemental. That allows the client to disclose their true thoughts and feelings to get the best therapy outcomes. The psychologist knows so much about you and you know so little about her. That creates a huge power imbalance and dual relationships can lead to abuse (financially, emotionally, sexually). Also, once you are friends you can't continue therapy with her because the lines have been blurred (therapy with friends just doesn't work! Plus, when you go out for coffee as friends you can't treat it like a therapy session). Also, it wouldn't be appropriate to be friends on Facebook either.

In every country where psychologists must be registered/licences to practise, there are harsh laws in place for those that cross the boundary into a sexual or other inappropriate relationship. A psychologist will lose their licence/registration! That's how serious it's taken! There's a minimum two year rule: two years after ceasing therapy, you can be friends, etc.

You're posting here because you're confused. I totally get that, it's completely understandable. I actually think your psychologist blurred the lines by waiting with you for 8 hours, meeting face to face to inform you of her taking a break and by wanting to give you a photo. I'm sure she means well and just cares, but that's how lines get blurred and you could get hurt.

It's all about protecting you, the client.

You could agree that she lets you know if/when she's back practising as a psychologist again and resume therapy or if you both want to be friends (it happens, some people just click) let her email you after the two years has lapsed.

I hope this helps good luck!