Freaked out by bizarre, ex-con maintenance man (long)

Trust your instincts. Glad it sounds like you will get this sorted out safely.

The company hasn't returned my call yet...probably because they don't want to answer these uncomfortable questions, especially if they did not do their due diligence as I suspect. At any rate, I'll keep phoning since I want and deserve answers.

It's a joke this is a "secure" building; when the association and/or manager irresponsibly (or worse, knowingly) lets the fox in the henhouse by hiring this mega-creepy, high-risk felon, that defeats the purpose of a security guard and surveillance cameras on the premises (although there are none on the floors themselves; as this presents opportunities for the creep given this is the one truly vulnerable area where cams are not present, looks like I'll need to install a peephole motion activated video camera, lest he try any funny business).

It's obvious why the creep felt compelled to run many states away for a 'fresh start'. I figured as much he was a rotten egg with a bad past. Dumb though, and demonstrative of either arrogance or lack of self-control, to behave in an overtly suspicious, predatory, attention-getting way towards me, which spurred my investigation and scrutiny of him. This information was not easy for a layperson to find; I had to do considerable detective work to uncover his criminality and personal life but I knew there was no way this creep *wasn't* disreputable and mondo bizarro with the way he has no problem violating social boundaries/norms.

To creepily stare and leer (and later stalk) so blatantly and brazenly shows this is an individual who has issues with respecting proper sexual boundaries and doesn't care how uncomfortable it is for his target to be objectified and made to feel like prey. It also could be a power play on his part, being a low-status male this may be an outlet for him to feel dominant by 'asserting' himself since he's such a (biological) chick repellent and loser who has nothing going for him, frankly.

The creep sure as hell has colossal nerve, you would think having a record the *last* thing he would want is to be noticed negatively and behave in ways that could get him in trouble. But I guess he (wrongly) believed with the geographical distance and time elapsed, he was safe from his dirty not-so-little secrets being found out. I'm incredulous and incensed at his audaciousness, given his high-liability past and the weaknesses it poses for him if, or rather when, he gets in trouble again. On his last stay in the graybar hotel, he had been tossed back for violating the terms of his supervised release, which goes to prove his impulse control is poor and recidivism with him is high.

Still, I have the advantage I believe since the creep doesn't know I know all about him; and he also doesn't know about the precautions we've taken and my ability to defend myself/us if he ever does lapse. But as my confidant rightly remarked, he has NO business being in this industry and keep him away from people!

I'm glad you're feeling confident in protecting yourself. I had a similar (maybe more, maybe less) intense problem with a guy. And I, too, went all out on researching him. Proved my case, and it was eventually handed off to a court. Some people thought I was too detailed and too interested in this particular fight, but what it comes down to is that my instincts were flagged and repeatedly.

Another thing: you will never understand this person's actual "strategy" or "logic" to their decisions making. They just tend to be really dumb. That's the only explanation I could come up with for the guy I was dealing with. They don't have some master plan. They're just really really stupid and primitive.

My confidant told me to be careful how I present my situation and findings if I do need to disclose, lest *I* come off as the odd one. I know what he means because for people who have not experienced this and cannot fathom what it's like, it's easy to view the victim as unstable, paranoid, misunderstanding, overly sensitive etc. And outrageously, the victim could come off as the obsessed one, when it is the stalker who because of their creepy unwanted attention, caused the victim to feel the need to investigate in order to form a 'profile' and 'threat assessment'. It's simply impossible *not* to be consumed as the victim is just too aware of their stalker.

My confidant also advised me to omit any mention of the creep's union, which I agree and goes without saying even though I believe it's relevant because it shows how "off-kilter" the creep is. He doesn't disagree with my assessment of it being weird as f**k, but said it's a matter of opinion. I'm not stupid to not realize others may not see it the same and it would be painted as nosing into and bringing his personal life into it unnecessarily. Which could make *me* look like the stalker and how ironic would that be, ugh.

But it's my belief the creep is an 'involuntary celibate' even though he has a "wife" and also could be getting the *real* thing in the form of sex workers now and then; however they don't count if he is unable to get any *natural* female on his own merits. His ghoulish looks and creepy, abnormal approach ensure women wouldn't even want to get to know him, let alone become intimate. That's my take on this being the main driver for his behavior, because if he was a hit with the ladies and not the flop he is, he wouldn't have displayed this desperate, overeager weirdness.

Fortunately what will work in my favor is the fact the creep is a felon with an established, documented history of serious, dangerous crimes so he's shown his willingness to cross lines; in addition, it's not believable someone like *me* would ever be attracted to someone like *him*, a creepy maintenance man with a face/appearance that would curdle milk, if he were to try to 'turn it around' and make such a ludicrous bs claim. I understand that is often the m.o. of these perpetrators. He is ghastly-looking with his shrunken bald-head skeleton face, freaky staring eyes magnified by thick goggle-like glasses, and leering mouth, like a a character straight out of Central Casting for a horror movie. However I know full well he'd be capable of claiming just that, given what a bold liar he is (the guest parking incident I mentioned), and in fact one of his convictions was giving false information as I've also mentioned, which is just a euphemism for saying legally, he was found to be a liar.

I've done extensive research on stalkers due to this, and when it comes to stranger/acquaintance stalking, the creep fits the "Incompetent Suitor" category in many ways. I certainly hope this is what he is, as their duration of interest is relatively short and when discouraged, they usually move on (to another target). What concerns me is he may not be this type because even though his escalations started rather recently, he has been interested in me from the beginning, nearly 2 years ago, which is *not* a short span.

I hope he isn't an "Intimacy Seeker" stalker because they are very persistent in their obsession and almost always are fixated on their target for many years. He's already cost me/us time, effort and money in researching him, avoiding him, changing our outings/schedules/routes to try to minimize crossing paths and his stalking opportunities, purchasing security equipment and protection. It's aggravating and wearisome and shouldn't be happening in the first place, seeing as the likes of him doesn't even belong here. I'm continuing to avoid and ignore and hope for the best.

I finally got a response and answers to my questions from the association as follows and am not pleased:

The Resident Manager does the hiring.

The resume and interview determines what states get a background check


It goes without saying the manager will be super protective and defensive and on the creep's side since he has a dog in the fight, and would want to save face and not admit to poor judgement and decision making. The response indicates background check/s is up to the manager's discretion and given the lack of vetting with the unlicensed contractor, I'd be surprised if he checked the creep out. Otherwise, in what universe is it a good idea to hire someone with relevant felony offenses for a vulnerable position?? Unless he believes in giving 'another chance' at the expense of risking innocent, unaware, *law-abiding* citizens for the sake of a rehabilitation experiment.

Since my last posting, the creep seems to have gotten the message from my Ice Queen treatment and attitude, and backed off. I regard him as if he has the plague. I will never let my guard down where he's concerned and don't allow any 'opportunities' and do things to deter and discourage him: wearing a wide hat to deprive him from seeing my face/eyes (I feel like wearing a burka to hide my form as well!); and holding in the open my device, video recording with a date/time stamped app when leaving or returning, so if the creep *does* do anything incriminating on my way in/out I'll have proof to nail him.

When I go down the elevator and if it should stop on one of the floors and he gets on, I will get off and wait for the next car. I won't ever tolerate again that freak turning his undersized head to rape-stare at me, made me feel like a caged animal trapped with a sexual predator. And should he knock on our door, if we see through the peephole it's him, I/we will NOT answer and stay silent. He can knock until his knuckles bleed, we won't open it or say anything. If it's for a legit reason, the manager will contact us or come up himself when the creep tells him we're not answering.

Also, if there arises a situation where we contact the manager because there's an issue and he says he'll send the creep up, at that time we will be forced to bring up the matter because we absolutely, adamantly oppose any contact and dealings with that creep. We won't go into specifics if we can help it because the manager will probably choose not to believe anyway, we will just tell him we prefer not to get into it since we were met with skepticism and non-support re the crooked contractor, but the creep makes us/me extremely uncomfortable and he better keep his eyes to himself and stop being creepy. And will also say we're fine with him (the manager) or other staff members coming in our unit, but we refuse to allow the creep in, *unless* he's accompanied by either the manager or a colleague. No way we'll be alone with this freaky felon.

This may seem like extreme measures, but with a delusional, wishful thinker like the creep, as little as possible/nonexistent contact and interaction is the way to go since a freak like this views and misconstrues any kind of normal interaction/socially polite behavior with someone he finds attractive as reciprocal interest and flirting when it is NOT, it was just being cordial but with pathetic, desperate guys, unfortunately you can't be anything but chilly and aloof otherwise they get ideas and fantasies, yuck.

Even if he never does anything inappropriate again, due to his icky behavior he's permanently branded a creep in my book and I don't want his interest and attention to ever be rekindled and triggered again. He's the visual human equivalent of a toxic waste site or garbage dump, major eyesore and uncannily similar-looking to the horror character Nosferatu but with spectacles, which is not flattering in the least and I'm sure anyone would be freaked to have *that* thing interested in you!

Anyhow I wouldn't care how unpleasant-looking he is if he hadn't shown me unwanted, unsolicited attention; but to add insult to injury, with his mega-creepiness, felony past and dead-end life, the guy's got nothing. I discussed with my confidant how the creep is not only a major weirdo but such a loser who has dispensed with acceptable boundaries/societal norms and has given up on any kind of respectable and/or successful life/pretense, because what straight guy, esp. one with any promising career and romantic prospects, who cared about his personal image/reputation, would be seen in public with, let alone be in a same-sex marriage, with an embarrassingly obvious 'tranny'. And can you imagine introducing someone like that to business colleagues/acquaintances and bringing such a person to social/work functions and gatherings? My confidant agreed such an, ahem, *unusual* partner would be a 'career-killer' in numerous professional fields/positions and cause a stir.

If the creep could get a female (esp an attractive feminine one), he would. Or, if he could get a convincing TS, he would. But he can't, as the passable/attractive ones can do much than him! All he can get is the what he's got, but *not* what he wants. But as long as he keeps his distance from me for good, I'll let things be; if he does the perverted stalker act again, I'm ready and will continue to document the situation and he'll find, as with the unlicensed crook contractor (who we've taken legal and official proceedings against) that I'll take action and I'm not the delicate, refined creature he thinks he can get away with being a lecher scot-free. He'll find himself in familiar trouble with the law and/or out of a job. Swans look elegant and placid, but they're brawlers and ready to rumble if need be and I've had enough and I'll not tolerate a second act of his creepy sexual harassment again.

I get the feeling you spend a little bit too much time thinking about the insults for this guy rather than just the business of it. I don't think it's here nor there who he's married to. If he makes you feel unsafe, that's important. If he has relevant criminal history related to his job, that's important. Does that make sense?

That sounds really positive for you and i'm pleased that you feel more comfortable..

i'm glad to hear that this person has understood you don't want to interact with him and appears to be respecting your boundaries now.

In terms of his choice of partner.. I completely agree with any form of mutually enjoyable, consensual adult relationship and wish him happiness

Having loved someone myself i can honestly say..

love is all..
if you find love - hold it close..



S.

It does make sense but I am just bashing and venting due to being so grossed out and outraged. I would *never* be so unwise as to tell the manager and/or the authorities/courts how revolting-looking this guy is and how strange I find his union and feel it's reflective of something being really wrong with him. Of course I would leave all that out of it because it would make *me* look bad and him sympathetic. One has to 'play the game'. Those things are (considered) personal and irrelevant to the situation, unlike his conduct and criminal background. Still, it's hard *not* to take it personal because I found/find it highly offensive and insulting he has forever made me feel unsafe, uncomfortable and threatened where I live. When I noticed his behavior was escalating, I was horrified...he is not and never would be the kind of man I would *ever* want interest from.

Keep in mind in all this time I exchanged less than two dozen words with this weirdo (the majority consisting of run-of-the-mill "hi" greeting), so it's not as if he had good reason to think I was receptive, it's not like we had long in-depth conversations...but yet he took the liberty to behave the way he did!

Anyhow, I'm at least fortunate the creep doesn't have any resources (money/power) because if he did, he most certainly would abuse them to facilitate his creepy harassment/stalking behavior. He would be in the position of making things extremely difficult and ruining his victim's life and/or career. It's also good he's unattractive because if it were a good looking male doing this, if/when the female complains, people are less likely to believe since they think a handsome guy wouldn't be capable of unwelcome fixation and doesn't need to stoop to and resort to such pathetic creepiness. Actually though, if the creep *was* handsome/wealthy/powerful, this situation wouldn't *even have happened* since someone like that wouldn't be working here as a maintenance man.

I have noticed the creep seems to be wary of us now...I guess he realized my skittish reaction whenever I cross paths with him doesn't look good and with his background, the last thing he needs is an accusation/complaint lodged against him. It's just deserts because after the crap he pulled, why should we be the only ones feeling dread when he started/created this whole situation due to his lack of self-control and selfishness in inappropriately displaying his disgusting desire in the workplace. If he's uncomfortable, that's entirely his own fault and doing. He also NEVER expected me to become hostile and slam the door on his interest with a resounding thud!...he wrongly pegged me as a soft, gentle thing who would be too polite and 'nice' and he could get away with all kinds of crap with zero consequence.

Further supporting my belief and certainty that the creep is an extremely sexually frustrated and oversexed (for females) weirdo, is once, when I happened to be out on my balcony, I looked below and he was walking with the security guard, on the grounds and beyond, picking up debris...there was a woman walking past them on the sidewalk and do you know what the creep did? He turned his pinhead all the way around while he was walking to stare at her and was so obvious; whereas the security guard didn't even glance or look back. This was very revealing because it demonstrated how lecherous and desperate he is, behaving like he's never seen a woman when he's around females he finds attractive. I was glad to have caught that scene, it further confirmed how I *knew* he does this with those he believes he can safely do so (for instance, he would *never* stare and leer at the manager's wife and teen daughter, who are both fairly attractive) and how creepily hypersexed he is. I know women must flee from and shun him as I did, after all, we don't want to date/sleep/get involved with a male who makes us so uneasy and stares at us like he'd like to rape us, kill us...then rape us again afterwards. He truly does come off as that kind of sick perverted freak...creep meter is sky high!

And by making up the lie, when his gross advances were rebuffed, that our guest's vehicle was blocking the entire walkway and "nobody can pass"...he showed himself to be petty, spiteful, vindictive...a very small, worthless, useless loser with no class. Total trash. One of those entitled males who get ugly when they realize they cannot have the woman they want, and lack the grace and dignity to take rejection like a man.

When we see our lawyer next month, I am going to tell him about the creep and ask for his opinion and suggestions. If the manager is reluctant to agree to our *demand* (not a request!) that the creep is never to be sent up to/enter our unit or talk to us, we will have our lawyer issue a letter reinforcing it. We decided we do NOT want that creep to ever step foot in our unit, even if chaperoned. If the manager isn't open-minded and fair in hearing us out, I will tell him this is why we were reluctant to talk to him when this was happening, because we *knew* he would be defensive and dismissive, and that we won't discuss this with him again or ever go to him and will handle it ourselves through other avenues if the creep pulls this again. And we are going to let the manager know we are fully aware the creep was incarcerated in federal prison, committed numerous offenses and has multiple serious felony convictions. I'm curious as to his reaction when he finds out we know. He should be ashamed of himself for hiring such an inappropriate individual. Disgraceful!

To expand on why it's a concern of mine re the creep's union; in and of itself it wouldn't matter, but in *combination* and *totality* with his criminality AND creepy behavior, it's yet *another* thing that supported what I already knew: he is a scarily weird loser freak. *Everything* I found in my investigation has been disturbing and strange as all get out...not ONE thing in his favor. If I had seen the creep was married to a beautiful woman, I would have a better opinion of him and be intrigued, thinking maybe he's got something after all. But when I saw his ludicrous man-wife, it just confirmed what a contemptible creep he is. And career-wise he's gone as far as he can, a middle-aged maintenance man condemned to lowly service jobs. He won't rise higher at this late stage of life, his felon past effectively shut the door on climbing the ladder.

As I pointed out, his partner is indicative that he settled for what he can get rather than be alone with no companion. If you ask me, better to be alone and have standards than scrape the bottom of the barrel. By having such a mate, publicly he's broadcasting he is of very low social status since no male who's got it going on would tarnish himself out-in-the-open like that. But it's understandable why they got together, a case of two undesirables who aren't appealing to the vast majority. Nobody else wanted them. As the saying goes, "water seeks it's own level"; people generally end up with someone of their caliber and desirability. These two certainly match each other and belong together!

I've done much research on the subject due to this, and males who are open to TS are straight, not gay. They are attracted to feminine/passable enough faces and bodies. And for those with a fetish, it's about the illusion and fantasy. Obvious ones are not in 'high demand'. The fact the creep was even willing to hook up with, let alone marry, a man-in-drag shows his desperation, weirdness and lack of options. Even my confidant, who is socially liberal, quipped "Be straight. Be gay. Be something in-between. But don't be f**king a bloke in a dress!" That perfectly sums up why I find the creep a total freak...as I said, what other straight guy would do this? He is in Norman Bates territory with the bizarre psychosexual issues I know he must have.

He appears to have some shame/discretion though: he is not on any social networks/sites, probably because that would mean he would have to post photos of his mate/them together or be accused of being ashamed, and he would not want to be easily searchable by residents/co-workers who would see what he's married to. I'm certain the manager and staff don't know he has a TS wife, and since guys generally don't ask to see pics or show them off, it wouldn't be considered unusual. He appears to be estranged from family and who could blame them? Not only a felon but a freak as well...that's just too much for most people. He probably was the black sheep of the family.

This is an important point to mention, I think: the creep's mate has many siblings who are as big as s/he; they appear very clannish and protective so unless it is his mate who does the ditching, he is stuck with "her" forever and better not cause heartache or all those siblings will come after and beat the hell out of him! I'm sure his mate would be very displeased knowing he's sniffing around females while at work.

The problem is when that creep tried to punch above his weight by attempting to get with his 'betters'. If he doesn't want anyone looking into his background, well then...he shouldn't stalk and harass! And he shouldn't have committed his petty revenge by spitefully lying to get even...that infuriated us and we will remember that and I am going to get my proof and nail him if he ever behaves badly again, so he best be careful of everything he says and does to me/us. As the saying goes, "women and elephants never forget".

If he wants to obtain interest from the kind of females (or trannies) he clearly desires, he really needs to upgrade himself. Since improving his looks or career won't happen, he needs a creep-free personality transplant. Don't treat women you want as walking vaginas; unless a male has extraordinary seduction skills or is a great catch, he can't pull it off at all. This creep is desperate and was clearly looking to 'make something happen' but lacks the abilities and qualities to do so, hence resorting to stalking and harassment the only way he can get 'up close and personal.' He is in the Elliot Rodger creep-league and women don't want him...we can smell a major creeper a mile off and will wisely run from their crazy desperate a$$!

I was wondering actually if maybe this upsets you so much because of the idea that this man has placed you in the same attraction category as his partner.. therefore you're flaring up so much because you absolutely refuse to be in the same category as the partner.


Only a thought..

i was just thinking back to a time when i was cheated on by a partner and yes it hurt but some of my worst feelings were because the woman was a complete troll.. I kept wondering what on earth was wrong with me for him to have cheated on me with that..
Turned out i actually liked the woman in the end.. he'd lied to her as well and we ended up being friends.. lovely lady and by the time we'd been chatting for a while, i had to conclude that actually she was so nice and funny that she was genuinely attractive.. most likely more so than me at the time because i was very low in self esteem and hence very insecure and judgmental of others.