I am a stalker

I repeat: And what about her? for someone in love with her you don't seem that concerned about her wellbeing

Smoke34 wrote:

Winteriscoming wrote:how will killing her end the pain

-- Wed May 08, 2013 4:42 pm --

And what about her? for someone in love with her you don't seem that concerned about her wellbeing

better than seeing her with somebody else.

Smoke34, I've been there. I can relate to absolutely everything you've said in this thread. The homicidal and suicidal thoughts, the true terror of thinking about a life without this girl, and everything else you've discussed. I have experienced it all first hand so I know how much pain you're in.

I also know that it can and will get better if you seek help and distance from this girl. The thoughts and emotions that currently feel so overwhelming are artificial. They do not come from any tangible reality; they do not come from this girl. They come from inside of you; they're created by your mind. Please believe me: these feelings and thoughts will dissipate if you do the right thing. If you seek a counselor and work through these feelings and work on your own insecurities which are at the core of this attachment, they will fade away and eventually you'll look back on this episode and this girl and you'll wonder why you were so attached to her. Believe me, I know.

But you have to have faith. You have to consciously tell yourself that the emotions are foreign, they're artificial, and that you're going to do what is necessary to feel better. Decide today to go talk to someone about seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist again. Then tell them exactly what you're feeling and thinking. Consciously choose to erase the contact information of this girl or her Facebook page from you bookmarks or whatever you use to connect with her. Choose to do this, not because you want to -- because I know you don't want to -- but because it will improve things in the future. Eventually you can and will get to a point where you don't want her anymore, you don't miss her, and you don't even miss wanting her, or miss missing her. It will be exactly like a sickness that eventually goes away. Will you miss it? No. Will you wish for it back? No. You'll realize just how artificial all of these emotions are. And that fact will not be an unhappy one. It will not be bittersweet; it will not be like you lost something, or lost her. You will be happy because you will be free from these artificial emotions and thoughts.

Please believe me when I say that I have been exactly where you are, have felt and thought exactly as you are now, and I have improved. It's like freeing oneself from a cult and looking back and thinking, "How could I ever think like that?" But you have to choose to do what's necessary to feel better, and the first step in that is to go back to a psychiatrist/psychologist/counselor and tell them exactly how you feel. It can and will get better, Smoke34, but it's going to require your participation.

Ada wrote:And this is the only thing that's important to you? Your schooling so far, career plans, family and friends, travel? They're all insignificant compared to your feelings for this one woman that you've admitted are not love but stalker-related?

I don't care about any of them. She was the only family I had. I don't care about her well-being if I have no effect in her life.

Smoke34 wrote:Well me and this girl briefly -dated- till she said she doesn't think of being with me in the future. She always postponed our dates and gave her number reluctantly anyway. The problem is not this. The problem is I keep harassing her all the time. It's really awful. I follow her on fridays. She fears that I'll kill her. How can stop, also how can I make her not fear me?

The best advice i can give you is 1) Consider that if you don't stop, in the very near future, it s likely to lead to an arrest, prison and a criminal record 2) For the sake of your own emotional well being seek therapy help if you re in any kind of position to do so 3) Seriously ask yourself if carrying on as you are is truly making you feel at peace with yourself or happy, or truly improving anything with this person as opposed to making things worse for everybody all round.

This is coming from somebody who know s from first hand experience what its like to end up with
police involvement threats as a result of getting obsessed with somebody. You really don't want to end up down that road.
I am sorry you're going through what you are, i appreciate its seriously not an easy thing.

Just saw what you wrote about killing this person. I really think you should seek some kind of professional help as a matter of urgency

Killing her would not help with your situation because the problem isn't coming from her. It's coming from the way you attach and empathice with others, and so even if she was dead you'd probable still be obssesed with her and she'd be extremely unatainable or you'd just get obssesed with someone else. Since this has such a strong grip on you i really think you need proffesional help to get past this ergently and for you'r own sake you should seek medical help and have it treated as a psychiatric problem before the police get involved and it's treated as a criminal problem.

Edited by Mod

Smoke34 wrote:

Winteriscoming wrote:Whats changed since you started this topic? to begin with you accepted you had a problem, talked about how she didn't deserve your stalking and wanted to find away to stop and now your contonplating murder suicide.

there's no benefit of stopping if she won't forgive me. it's better off to kill her and end the pain.

Smoke, listen to me man, you do not want to hurt this girl, at all, ever. Promise me that you won't? and it's definitely -not- better, at all.

If you think doing so will take away the pain, it won't, it will make it a thousand times worse or more.

I'm not religious and I don't know whether or not you are, but even if we're both not, just think for a moment, what if there is something after death? That possibility is always there whether we believe or not. Do you want to miss out on something that could be special because of doing something terrible now, that really won't help you at all.

I've been where you have been, I've been completely gutted by heartbreak, the difference? no matter how much I've wanted to contact them, it's not the best thing for them if they don't want it. If you have true feelings for someone, you never want to hurt them, ever, so please listen to this next part, it's very important.


Do you want to be happy, and in a proper relationship with someone you care about?


If the answer is yes, then please, seek proper help, immediately. Turn yourself into the police, tell them the exact same things you are telling us, that you are a stalker, were thinking about killing her etc. If you seriously want to be happy and find someone it's the best thing you can do. They will put you in touch with the doctors who can help you get your life back on track.

I could write a long post about all the ways that what you're feeling is not real love, it's obsession etc but it's already been covered here by other people, you're not seeing it though because there is something inside you that gives you the wrong perspective on things. Get to the police, make them take you to the doctors, get on medication (and take it, if you want to be happy).

Please will you do this for me man and I will follow you every step of the way. Don't hurt the girl, it would be a really seriously bad mistake that you won't be able to take back, just go to the police and tell them everything without limit, you will be on the way to a better new life.

Went to some psychologist. Looks like I'm just a bruised ego loser.

Well done an thank you for going for help . That is a big step. With some therapy you should be able to heal that bruised ego a bit and get winning