Oh My God What Have I Done?!

I hope I'm posting in the right place, I think I am.

I have a cross between a gambling addiction and spending addiction. This has been going on for quite awhile and I have a debt consolidation loan that I am working on paying down. I've been doing that for a year now and I have another 3 years to go.

The problem is I still occasionally gamble and 2 days ago, I made a huge mistake and blew $3000 in an Internet Casino. How did I do that without a credit card? Well you don't need a credit card, you can debit the money directly from your bank account using an eCheck. The thing is, the eChecks don't get processed right away. I don't have $3000 in my bank account, I only have $1500. So what I did was I withdrew all the money from my bank account so that I would have it all in cash and would be able to live for the next two weeks. When the eChecks get processed that will put me in the hole big time and I don't have Overdraft on my chequing so I don't even know if the bank will allow them to be processed or not. I figured I'd better take my money out so that I can have money to live until next payday and let the eChecks go throughn and put me in the hole -$3000 on my bank account (if they get processed). Better that than to not have any money at all for the next 2 weeks.

I'm really scared as to what is going to happen. I've gone to another bank and opened up an account there so that I can start using that one for my day to day banking of paying bills and receiving my paydays from work. I think what I will have to do is pay $100/week on my other account until it is all cleared up.

Besides that I clearly have a spending money problem. I have a tendency to go to massage parlours and pay for services that I can't afford but I'm so lonely I can't help it and I long for the companionship.

With all the bills and stuff that I have to pay including my rent and car insurance, student loan, debt consolidation loan payment, renter's insurance, cellphone bill, Internet/Cable TV bill, that pretty much just leaves me with about $500/month to live on. I have a lot of big needs coming up like I need new glasses and dental work done and I don't have insurance for any of that.

I think my only option is to declare bankruptcy and start over. I really need help to control my spending and stop gambling and stop going to massage parlours. I am pretty desperate here, I have been suicidal because of all these problems but now that I am finally starting to make some friends I don't want to do that, but I don't see any other way out of the financial mess that I am in. I don't have any savings, no RSPs or ANYTHING. I live paycheck to paycheck and just barely get by, eating Kraft Dinner almost every night of the week.

My mom and sisters both knew last year I had problems and they thought I had it all under control and I did but recently I seem to have let it all go and now I'm screwed and don't know what to do anymore. I can't have anyone know how badly I have screwed my life up.

Hi, JTT8412! Is there any way to block online casinos from your computer as well as anything else that might tempt you to spend money? You could look into charities that offer free therapy or support groups to people who have this kind of addiction in your area.
You know that you have a problem, you admit it and you really want to change and turn your life around. It's going to be ok, you'll work hard on this.
You mentioned being lonely. Getting involved in a hobby might help you meet someone who shares your interests.
How are you?

Okay, you've got a bit going on in your post here. You're aware you have a problem, clearly spending money you don't have. You've also identified loneliness as a reason to go to massage parlours and pay for services you can't really afford.

I think you need to make a proper budget, first. List out all your expenses, and the income you're bringing in. Depending on who you bank with and what service was used, the eCheck may not clear. For instance, a pre-authorized debit will probably put your account into the red, while a PayPal eCheck will probably not clear.

Either way you're on the hook, so it's important to figure out where you can reduce your expenses for the next little while to pay that off. You've said you live paycheck to paycheck but that you have a debt consolidation loan. Is it possible to negotiate an additional $3,000 on that loan?

Also, bankruptcy over a few thousand dollars is NOT recommended. People have come back from far worse! You need to make a financial plan and stick to it.

If you'd be willing to tell me your State or Province I can recommend an Information and Referral (I&R) that can connect you with low or no cost gambling/spending therapy services available in your area.

Feeling suicidal is common in people who see no way out of their situation. But there is an out. You can do it. And you'll be a better person for having developed those positive habits and behaviours.

JTT8412 wrote:I'm really scared as to what is going to happen. I've gone to another bank and opened up an account there so that I can start using that one for my day to day banking of paying bills and receiving my paydays from work. I think what I will have to do is pay $100/week on my other account until it is all cleared up.

Besides that I clearly have a spending money problem. I have a tendency to go to massage parlours and pay for services that I can't afford but I'm so lonely I can't help it and I long for the companionship.

With all the bills and stuff that I have to pay including my rent and car insurance, student loan, debt consolidation loan payment, renter's insurance, cellphone bill, Internet/Cable TV bill, that pretty much just leaves me with about $500/month to live on. I have a lot of big needs coming up like I need new glasses and dental work done and I don't have insurance for any of that.

You might want to see what luxury items you can cut from your budget on a temporary basis so you can get your bank debt paid off quicker.

I floated a couple checks a few years ago, only a few hundred dollars, and it worried me to no end but I talked to the people that were carrying them, got it paid off and learned my lesson.

I hope you get this worked out and that there's a happy ending to all this.