Urge to poop when going out

Hi guys...
Wow it feels so good not to be alone... It's like you want all of the person here to be your best friends... lol
Anyways Maybe I should share my story too. Here it goes :

I always had this kind of problem since I was a kid, like I've always hated going to any bathroom that wasn't mine, but I always lived like anyone else.. I did have to go to the toilet before going out but i didn't feel force or if i didn't i would feel good enough anyway to go out and not having any problem... I've always been anxious about a looot of things but the only thing i could really do without fear or anxiety was going out during the day with my friends (cinema, restaurant, houses (my favorite)) ... But this summer i was not in paris where i live, i was in Israel and i actually conquered a lot of fears i had. I stayed about 1 month there and the last two week I was sick i had like diarrhea and horrible stomach cramps but wasn't feeling sick... Like i could laugh and i had energy, I could dance and scream like i wasn't sick but I had symptoms. One day i slept over a friend's house we were like 5 friends alone there and first i didn't want to go cause i wasn't feeling great and i was starting fearing having to go poop when out, cause you know this was my symptoms...but i couldn't refuse i did it it was fine but the day after we left for the bus to go back home with two of my friends and i wanted to poop it was awful i was looking for toilets, i found one but when i just sat my friend called me out and said " tommy the bus is here" i did a mistake... I got up and joined them... WHYY TOM ? WHYY ? in the bus i was sweating i knew i had diarrhea... I almost pooped my pants it was one of the worst moment of my life... but i finally arrived home and went to the bathroom where effectively i had diarrhea...

Since this moment i'm back in paris and I think i'm traumatised and i even fear going to the cinema where i know i can go poop easily cause i really know the place... It's hard to go work, i can't go out with friends.... Even when i have to go see my doctor, last time i had to enter a mcdo because i couldn't wait... When i'm out sometimes i have to go poop 6 times it depends if i'm still stressed out... and the more i go the more it's like diarrhea... and that's embarrassing and really bothering.
But when i'm home i'm even constipated and it could be for 5 days or until i have to go out...

I tried antidepressant, acupuncture, homeopathy, etc... Nothing worked...
I think we do have irritable bowel that makes us want to poop when we're anxious... when out, I also try to focus on music, but all of this requires so much concentration...

The only way we all can get rid of this is to STOP thinking about it... When i do nothing happens ... It's really really hard because it's a fear and it's awful but little by little we should get rid of this... No one has problem to poop..; We shouldn't. It's in our mind.
If we have to poop let's poop... And y'all will see we won't want too... Or if we do, let's go lol.

Wishing you best,

TomPsycho

Goodness, it is amazing reading all of these, because I could have written most of them myself. I am so glad this is an active thread - can we all try and help each other - we really need to fight this. feel free to skip past my story (it will be familiar!) and see what you think about my ideas to fight this. I am 25, male and from the UK.

My story

I have the exact same thing, except it has only become a real problem in the last year. I have always, since about the age of 18, pooped about 3 times a day, but it was never something I overly thought about. at the age of 23 I started having IBS with all the symptoms, cramps, the $#%^ s, the lot. But here is the thing - I travelled south america for 4 months and just sort of dealt with it! There were 'close calls' where I sometimes had to run off and find a toilet with explosive results... but my mates and I would just laugh about it after and I would get on with it, managing huge road trips with a few imodium and a positive attitude. by the time I came back from the trip all the cramps etc was gone and I was pooping regularly but was not identifying it as IBS - just regular bowels. I felt cured (interestingly - this was also one of the happiest periods of my life).

Move on 2 years, I am now working a stressful job (an architect) and have a reasonably regular routine. I poop the minute I get up, usually pretty solid, then up to lunch time I need to go another 2-3 times, which are more loose, depending on how stressed I am about access to a toilet. Right now, on a saturday, I am sitting at home alone, completely un-stressed, I can feel I need to go soon, but it is not urgent. But if my flatmate came back and jumped in the shower right now so I couldn't go, I would start losing control, I would feel like I was going to poop my pants and the anxiety feeling would make me feel sick, and retreat into my mind - I am sure you all know the wash of fear.

At work it is ok, because I have access to the toilet, but if I need to go to a meeting or go to site without warning, I obsess about it in my head uncontrollably. It feels like I think about going to the toilet, where the toilet is, what would happen if I couldn't get there etc about 60% of the time.

Now the thought of going on a long walk is terrifying, never mind a trip around south america! I have 'safe places' - home (except when someone is in the toilet), work, and places I know well and know where the toilet is. Everywhere else I am in fear and retreat into myself, not enjoying the present, only thinking about 'surviving' until I am in a safe place. I am just in a new relationship with a really active guy, and I have tried to explain my problem. He was supportive but I don't think he understands the extent of my fear. We are going away this weekend and he wants to go on long hikes etc and I am terrified. I wish I wasn't, I used to love the outdoors but I know the whole way I will be obsessing.

The future

SO - how on earth do we help ourselves?? because it seems this crosses the boundaries of mental and physical. It is not 'irrational' because it is compounded by those experiences where you really do need to urgently poop and you can't, or you get to a toilet and it really was urgent.

DIET - I am trying to eat as well as I can, avoiding foods that trigger my IBS. but I am doing this more for a healthy mind than gut, because I think my anxiety affects my guts more than food.

Exercise - I have literally just started exercising, and I hope this is going to help. I find when I go swimming, I am nervous about needing to poop on the way, as I get changed etc, but if I ignore it, jump in the pool, suddenly my mind is occupied and it goes away - I need more of this!

Help - I have just made inquiries this week about seeing a therapist for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I don't know if this will help, but I am certainly going to give it my best shot. I will keep you guys updated.

Things that help at the moment - 'secret tapping' I had 1 session with a therapist last year, it wasn't very helpful but I took one thing from it. When you start freakingout take your thumb and tap the area between the finger nail and the skin on the same hand. this is an acupuncture pressure point. This might be BS but it helps me calm myself a little.

I repeat to myself - 'there is always a toilet, if it was REALLY urgent, you would find one and get to it' because generally this is true, even if you have to ask in a shop or something. if you were ACTUALLY in the final moments of $#%^ ting yourself, you will always find a toilet. I have had plenty of very close calls, but I have always found somewhere and I have never had an accident. I need to get back to a mental place where I find these close calls funny!

Lets find more coping strategies!

Hey Guys,

Like all of you I suffer from this whatever we are calling it, Toilet Urgency Anxiety? Can I just say I am so relieved to have found more people like me. I struggled to find any other reference to this which was really frustrating so thanks guys.

I am a 27 year old male from London and have had these sort of poo related issues since my teens I think. What is really frustrating for me is I'm extremely laid back and worry free about pretty much everything. I don't suffer from stress from work, or worry about money issues or anything like that so this anxiety is so uncharacteristic of me I was sure it was physiological and not psychological.

Now I have doctors, well not doctors personally but going to have my health checked out by a professional, I had been to see my doctors once in over 10 years and that was because i needed a sick note for the flu (stupid job refusing sick pay). So I visit my doctor explain my concerns and we agree we are going to check for everything and anything just to make sure.

So my symptoms are; I cannot leave a building without peeing as soon as I go to leave the urge kicks in, sometimes I don't even need to go nothing comes out. I need to use the bathroom desperately when I don't have access to one. When on public transport I become nervous and Uncomfortable and begin to scan everywhere for where I can find a toilet, or if there is somewhere I can go in public and not get caught. The peeing has only developed in the last 6 months but for the most part i've had these issues mild and intermittent over the last 12-15 years. Having left my last job (an office on my doorstep practically) I now work a job that requires a bit of london commuting and my situation has become much worse.

The Doctors results...
So I had
Blood Test
Urine Test
Stool Sample Test
and a ultrasound scan of my bowels and kidney

All in all I have a very mild case of Non Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease. So my doctor is entirely convinced this is all psychological. This came as both a relief and a disappointment. Now I know more specifically what it is I can seek help to treat it, but I also wanted it to be a physiological problem with a simple fix, like say go gluten free or something.

I found that out 3 weeks ago and am currently awaiting my first appointment with a therapist next monday which I will share with you all in the hopes it will help any who share in my symptoms but haven't sought out professional help yet. I like many of you was happy to try manage this myself with little tricks and tips as it were, and immodium, lots of immodium. I have tried pinching myself in panicking situations to distract me I also know my routes extremely well and use routes that involve a lot of toilets. I have also found good recent success with a logic game on my phone, which keeps me focused and engaged, something listening to music and reading does not.

I am sharing this because last week I had anxiety so bad on the way to work, I tried to explain my situation to my boss and broke down crying, I then tried to explain it to my girlfriend later that day and cried again. (I'm really not an emotional person) I am now considering leaving my new job and getting a job on my doorstep again until I can get things right. So hopefully reading this now you take comfort that you're not alone, and I will update this with the effectiveness of the therapy so others don't have to reach the level I have before they deal with this.

If anyone has any questions feel free to ask, Ill check this daily.

Thanks for your time
TD7

Iam so relieved that other people are alose having the same problem as mine.
Well it all started in 10 grade.
When i planned to use toilet before going to School. It was fine up to next 2 weeks. After that i got gastric. And going to toilet before school became my habit. If i even dont want to go then my stomach pains and i have to go use bathroom.
However i finished my 10 grade but i want this habit to go.
Now my college year is going to start and im afraid of my behaviour.
Anyone please suggest me ideas to get rid of it.
I dont want to live my whole life like it.

I am a 50 year old female living in the USA. I have had this problem for at least 20 years. I have no idea what brought this into my world. I have been through several relationships due to hardships brought on by this. I have tried therapy, prescription drugs, listening to anxiety tapes on my iPhone and everything else I could get my hands on. 10,000.00's of thousands of dollars. I have been checked by gastroenterologist and other specialists. I believe if I am actively working on the problem it lessens a bit. That is hard work to sustain for a life time. The problem is still always present, always a problem and always holding back my every move and thought.

I am terribly lucky to have a partner who understands, supports and salvages my good underwear

For me it is not a fear of what might happen, it is a fear of what i know WILL happen. I have crapped myself more times than I can even count. It comes on so quickly, If I am not right by a restroom, I can't stop it.

I can absolutely relate to those who have an issue living in a 1 bathroom house. I was in that situation for 10 years, I had to buy a little portable. It is a prison sentence. My current house has 4 bathrooms. I also live on acreage, sometimes if I am on the land I can't get back to the house, I have to go outside. But at least it is mine! Like others, morning time is the worse. If I am going to do something spontaneous it must be in the late afternoon to evening. Anything early, my first few stops better have a bathroom freely available. As others have mentioned, going for a walk, going for breakfast, on vacation, movies, out for coffee and a million things in between are very hard and require a lot of forethought and planning. I definitely will not go on group outings or be driven in by someone else. I don't take Immodium a lot( maybe I should), but occasionally it is helpful.

I know I am older than a lot of you posting. I wish I had a light at the end of the tunnel but I do not. Keep working on it, keep trying to find solutions and surround yourself with understanding friends. It is not your fault, love yourself and accept no less from anyone.

Hey all,

I have the same problem, and a hatred of going to the doctor to talk about it (could be something worse but I hate the idea of a doc checking out my arse lol). Stupid, I know. but sod it.
I've had close calls, and I've even had to run around corners and relieve myself a few times.
It's horrible, it's embarrassing and I'm lucky I have a supportive if slightly frustrated partner.
It's at the point now where it's just easier for me not to go out. It's easier not to ever eat out (restaurants etc) than to worry about it (even if they have toilets!) Which is really sad....
I have immodium and similar tablets, but it's not advisable at all to use this on a regular basis, so I've tried to stop completely using these unless it's like, 12 hrs drive from one end of the country to the other (twice a year). I've found things out and wanted to share with you.

I logged every movement and food consumption, time, etc. I had a colour code/number code for how bad it was and how solid (or not) it would be. I tried to find a pattern between food and movement, and to some extent I did - I've cut out the foods that wouldn't be advisable (fried foods of any kind were so high on the avoidance list, unsurprisingly). I've also learned to accept that I do have a problem but it's not so bad, I mean, there are toilets in places I usually go to.

Unfortunately I have altered my eating pattern completely... not for the best. For example, I regularly attend college four days a week, and during those days, I do not eat a single thing until I am back home. So bad, but it helps my anxiety (if nothing goes in, nothing needs to come out ?! right?) - I have plans to incorporate breakfast but this involves me waking up a good 90 minutes earlier so I have time to properly digest before I need to leave.

I've also found that distractions are a great way of not thinking about it at all, and this has to some extent helped me considerably. For example, I listen to music or watch a programme on my phone or I play a game when I'm travelling. During school time I have toilets nearby and am totally fine with those, but i'm only in school 3-4 hours a day so it's no big deal.

It's good to know I'm not alone, but I also keep telling myself that a) visit the doc to be sure and b) it's all in my head and I should deal with it. Easier said than done, but I made a plan and it has helped me cope a lot more.

1, log everything for a few weeks, then analyze and adjust diet.
2, realize that it's healthier not to stay indoors because the more you're out the better (I now walk at least 4 times a week for at least 15 minutes)
3, find a place you love and go there every week (coffee shop, pub, park, mountain, whatever)

So small steps, but i forced myself to take action and stick to the schedule, and my next step is if there's no improvement to visit the doctors. SO far the routine has helped me a great deal so I'm feeling more and more happy but my final challenge is to start going out with my partner again... poor thing she's been so supportive she deserves it! I keep wanting to but i don't want to put myself under pressure just yet... so i make up for it in other ways (doing more than my fair share of cleaning and cooking, being supportive of her going out with her friends etc).

There is light at the end of the tunnel but you have to turn it on to see it.

Feels good to write it all down,
good luck.

Im 16 and i suffer from same phobia
Can anyone explain what kind of disease is this
Plz respond

Hello, everyone, I'm a 26 yr old male with the same problem.
Before I go to work, in the morning, I have to go like 2 times or so (worse is on Mondays, after the week-end) but then, once I arrive to work, no problem for the rest of the day, until the next morning of course. When I stay home, everything's fine.
If I need to go out, shopping, anywhere really, I need to poop but it also gets less irritating as the day goes (worst in the morning).
This is happening for 10 years or so and it's been really damaging for my social life.
I imagine it's hard it to find a partner that understands what I'm going through.

Hi all, I know this is now an old feed but really nice to hear stories that resemble mine.
I'm male in my late 40s from the UK and have suffered this for at least 15 years which has been up and down. Sometimes manageable, sometimes not.
At worst I am unable to leave the house without going 3 or 4 times for a poo. I worry about where I will be able to go once out and if I'm going to be caught short which has happened.
If for some reason I didn't need to go out as in my plans changed, the feeling would immediately go away. I am fine at home or elsewhere if there is a toilet available. I don't mind Country walks as I know I would be able to go behind a tree or something. I have a job that involves leaving the building on a spur of the moment to unfamiliar places which causes problems. If I do have the courage to go out I can be fine but then all of a sudden for no reason it can come on. If I go out socially, I tend to drink too much alcohol to calm myself down. I take beater blocker medication which acts as a relaxant and am undergoing CBT at the moment. Apparently the way forward is to face the issue by going out and loosing safety mechanisms like planning, meds, kit bag (spare clothes etc.) It is all about realising it won't happen but unfortunalty for me, it has, that said, only twice in 15 years or so. It is nice to know I'm not alone in this but that doesn't get rid of it. Good luck with it, let me know if you find a cure x

Thank you all so much for this
I created a profile just so i can tell my story as well. This is the first time im actually able to talk about all of this. Im 19 and only my parents know about whats happening but they never really understood and always joked about it. For a long time i thought its just me, this is literally the only post ive ever found so im so grateful to everyone who has posted in here.
Please read what i say towards the end.
So here is my deal (sorry for any typos, im writing on the phone and cant see what im doing)

It probably started when i was around 13-14 at least i dont remember having that before that. One reason i can think of is, in 6-7 grade i once had to go home to go to the toilet as i lived im front of my school and when i came back i had a problem with a teacher because i was absend or so. Anyway this is just a speculation and not so important. So as i said i was living in front of school and the problem wasnt that big as i could just run home and back to school any time. "Oh i have to get my keys from my mother before she leaves for work", "oh my parents want me to do this and that" i could always find an excuse on why i have to go home and do my thing. However in 8th grade i changed school, it wasnt that far but i needed 15-20 mins to get back, so going home just for a poop wasnt a solution. So i started waking up quite earlier than im supposed to, i was going to the toilet 3-4 times so i can make sure everything is out. And it really did feel like its all out, i dont feel like i need to go... Until i arrive at school and it feels like i have a diarrhea or something. I was terrified of the thought of having to do it in school as our toilets didnt even close properly so a friend had to keep it closed, which would mean a friend would have to hear and smell what im doing in there... Thats the time i started taking imodium, if it wasnt that bad i was lying to myself with coffee beans as my parents were telling me they help with this. And in general it was very bad but i dint remember much from back then.
More recent memories i have are from 10-12 grade. New school again, this time i change 2 busses. So i was waking up 3h sometimes even earlier than when i should wake up. Go to the toilet like 4-5 times, leave the house in fear only so that when i arrive at school my biggest fear comes true and i have to poo again. At first i was terrified (i use this word again because really this is how scared i was) from the fact that so many people will know im in the toilet, that my friends will know what im doing all of that. At first it was really bad but i got so fed up with it. I was so anoyed that i needed to wake up at 4 that i couldnt sleep enough. That even thought i did go like 5 times before i leave i still had to do it again. Its like there was no point in me waking up so early and doing all of that to end up having to go again. So i accepted my fear and i started going to poop in school without too much fear. I was still uncomfortable but kinda better. Anyway now im in uni and its all online yada yada. The thing is, i still have that.
Tomorrow for example im meeting with a friend and im afraid of what would happen if we go to his house and i have to do my thing. Im mainly afraid when im around people i know which ... Is so stupid.
Like many peoppe here said, im afraid to go out of my house because i know i will have the need to go. There is no way i wake up just an hour before the time i should leave, lets not even think about 15 min or so like most of my friends do. How do i explain waking up 3h earlier? I cant go with sudden plans, you know if someone is randomly like "hey lets go there and do that" i cant because even if i didnt fedl like going to the toilet just 5 seconds before, hearing "lets go" i immediately think "oh boi what if i need to go to the toilet" and it starts. Im a bit better now, better from 6-9 grade, better from the beginning of 10th grade etc. But it still plays a giant part of my life. I cant be spontaneous. I cant meet with my friends without fear. I always always have "what if i need to go" in my head. I didnt go to so many school trips, in general i didnt do so much in my life just because i was afraid of this. Oh and i forgot to mention that between 7-9 grade i was only staying at home. I wasnt meeting people at all because i was afraid so much.


And you know what
Its all so damn stupid
Like really i know it, and im sure you all know it as well. Its so stupid. This is one of the most basic human things we do. Are u afraid that u have to eat? Are u afraid that u have to breathe? Drink water? Take a shower? No. This is something every single human, every single being does. Even plants take out the unused material. Every single one person knows how it is to have the need to poop. Every single person has been through the situation where they really cant hold it and just have to go. No one will mock you because u were too long in the bathroom or whatever (if they do they are either really close friends or complete morons). My point is, its all in our head. Someone here mentioned that this is where the psychological meets the physical and its so true. Its all in our heads.

So to every single person reading this no matter how many years from now. Guys, get rid of it. I havent fully done that myself but do ur best. Fight against it because u are the reason this is happening to you. Its not a real disease, its something we create in our head.
Take a notebook and every single night and morning write down how u feel about it. Something like "this is stupid and unnecessary, its normal, everyone does it" or so. I started doing that for another mental problem i have and it helps me so much. Today i decided to do that for the poo problem as well. Just write down ur feelings and what u think about it. Tell urself every single morning and night that this is stupid and sensless. Because trust me it is. Think about it, missing so many oppurtunities, living in fear just because of something like this? Imagine not meeting with friends, not going on dates just because u are afraid that u have to breathe around them??
And something i realised, after i went to the toilets in school many times i got used to it and it became so much better. I know that the same will happen if i go at my friends houses once or twice as well. Just go against it. Accept it as something in ur head that u really need to take care of. Because i know you all have missed something just because u were afraid u would have the need to go poop. I know i have and i know i regret it.
I cant say anything as i still havent sloved my own problem so i cant tell u what to do. But this much i know, you dont want to live ur life like this. You dont want to leave in such stupid fear. To miss so many things in ur life. I am still 19 and i know i dont want to be 30 and have the same mindset about the whole thing. Yea talking with someone is nice, a therapist or so but u can do it on ur own as well. Its totally doable and it only needs u to put urself out there.
Dont miss any more dates, meetings with friends, morning joggings, sudden needs to go for a walk, trips, dont give urself to the fear because it really is unnecessary.
Everyone does it, so whats the problem?

Its
All
In
Our
Heads

So please everyone, know that you are not alone and remember that only u can fight against urself.