Absolutely Everything

I'm not really sure if Somatoform includes Hypochondria but I'd say that the two combined pretty much define and dominate my entire life.

On a constant and continual basis I diagnose myself with various medical disorders/diseases (ranging from superficial to deadly to rare and unheard of maladies) and diagnose myself with different psychological disorders, such as: Generalized Anxiety, Panic attacks, OCD, Depression, Schizotypal, Schizophrenia, Bypolar, Narcissism, Borderline...

With the medical diagnosis: I've experienced so many symptoms randomly for the past 12 years, never explained by doctors, and usually just given a random diagnosis or just shrugged off. The worst was gastrointestinal problems (primarily vomitting, in which I could not stop myself throwing up and could barely eat - not intentionally) and was passed off as CVS because there was no physical reason for it.

Its just been years and years of random annoying and frustrating symptoms. Cysts. Unbearable and debilitating migraines. Vision distrubances. Heart Arrhythmia. Numb/Burning feet (currently, as I type this). Fainting spells. Digestive issues. UTIs. I could go on...

I've had so many tests, I've been to so many specialists (thank god I live in Canada for our medical care lol). Because of my symptoms I've been addicted to some medications. Now I'm on Topamax for my migraines which is just giving me ridiculous side effects.

The psych stuff.... I'm so messed in the head - I don't know if thats part of the hypochondria/somotoform but I swear to god I fit into so many different disorders... I'm just...eccentric. Somehow I function in every day life because I work really hard to hide this all, and only those really close to me know this side of me. But its as though I shuffle through different psychological episodes...I'll go through periods of being depressed...and then its gone, and then I'm on to a period of being totally apathetic and socially withdrawn (like schizoid or something) then later I'll be something else entirely, or narcissistic...there is no consistency. I don't know how I could possibly appear normal to other people - well maybe I don't! I'm pretty sure most people know something is off.

Wtf? thats all....