saying stupid things

it hurts lol. sometimes i am so desperate for something to say that i say something stupid. how about you? it really is just another one of the painful symptoms of social phobia.

You don't have to have social phobia to say stupid things... I am a very social person and say dumb stuff all the time. It's how you react that counts. Being able to laugh at yourself is key. Say something like "umm, yeah--I don't know what I was going for there" or "did I say that out loud?" and chuckle heartily after commiting a social faux pas. Then, let someone else talk for a while. Don't take yourself too seriously and other people will feel comfortable around you.

chickadee wrote:You don't have to have social phobia to say stupid things... I am a very social person and say dumb stuff all the time. It's how you react that counts. Being able to laugh at yourself is key. Say something like "umm, yeah--I don't know what I was going for there" or "did I say that out loud?" and chuckle heartily after commiting a social faux pas. Then, let someone else talk for a while. Don't take yourself too seriously and other people will feel comfortable around you.

yeah of course you dont have to have social phobia to say stupid things. you are absolutely correct in everything you say. i react to that kind of stuff very negatively and get very embarrased because i am a very socially anxious person, which is why i am posting in this forum in the first place.

yeah of course you dont have to have social phobia to say stupid things. you are absolutely correct in everything you say. i react to that kind of stuff very negatively and get very embarrased because i am a very socially anxious person, which is why i am posting in this forum in the first place.

Look, you seemed at first like you were reaching out... like you wanted reassurance that saying stupid things wasn't unique to you alone. I responded BECAUSE I don't have social phobia. I thought that hearing that all people have that problem might help you. After all, you asked the question.

I also tried to give you pointers as to how you can combat your problem. BEING embarassed and shy doesn't mean you have to ACT embarrased and shy. I was a very shy little girl and worked hard to overcome that. Doing the opposite of what I was feeling (introducing myself to people and starting conversations when I was terrified to even speak) helped me become the person who really isn't afraid anymore after years of practice. I hoped that giving you tips on how to pretend to be more comfortable with yourself might help you do the same eventually.

I am sorry if you are offended by my post, but you didn't specify that only social phobics need respond. I was trying to be helpful, but if my post doesn't help you please ignore it.

I say stupid things all of the time. I have what I consider to be severe social anxiety. I sometimes get a little bit comfortable with a group of people, and try to join the conversation. I say something that I think is funny, but then no one laughs, and they continue the conversation as if I had not spoken. Sometimes when they are gossiping about someone, I chime in, but I feel bad afterward. I usually wish that I had just kept my mouth shut. I end up going home chiding myself all the time. I vow to just stay home by myself and never socialize again. I am happiest when I do not have to make conversation with anyone.

patm3300....i've noticed that in a few places on the forum lately you are very quick to jump down the throats of those that reply in an effort to offer you support....or their suggestions and advice on what has worked for them. I'm sure you are going through your own personal hell and react negatively at times because of this....but try to remember when you reply back to people.....they too are suffering and it's meant to be a supportive environment here. Maybe try not to overread into the replys you get and only look for the bad....it's not always really there.

viking wrote:I say stupid things all of the time. I have what I consider to be severe social anxiety. I sometimes get a little bit comfortable with a group of people, and try to join the conversation. I say something that I think is funny, but then no one laughs, and they continue the conversation as if I had not spoken. Sometimes when they are gossiping about someone, I chime in, but I feel bad afterward. I usually wish that I had just kept my mouth shut. I end up going home chiding myself all the time. I vow to just stay home by myself and never socialize again. I am happiest when I do not have to make conversation with anyone.

you sound a lot like i do vikings. i think you should post on here more often.

now i want you all to take a look at the following picture

http://catalog.socialstudies.com/itemim ... UF138V.JPG

this is what i consider to be acute social anxiety and it can have serious impacts on your family life and education or career. the problem is, my parents do not believe that i really have social anxiety disorder. they think that i am just shy, but it goes a lot further than that i can tell.

social anxiety disorder is misdiagnosed 90 percent of the time. sometimes it is passed off as major depression, bipolar disorder, or even schizophrenia. social anxiety disorder is the most mis-understood mentall illness. it is unfortunate because many people who are living the disorder do not even know it, and they will never recieve any treatment for this horrible disease.

social anxiety is commonly misunderstood by psychiatrist, psychologists, school counselors, and anybody in the mental health field. they often do not think that it is as serious as it really is. it can sometimes even drive people to be suicidal, like me. once someone like me has finally got the diagnosis, then treatment is the next step.

many times cognitive behavioral therapy will be the first treatment. it is rated as the best treatment for social anxiety disorder. many times CBT will work and no further treatment will be needed. if it becomes clear to the therapist that more treatment is needed, you will be referred to a psychiatrist, and he will most likely write you a prescription for an SSRI, which stands for Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitors. It makes a chemical reaction in your brain which causes your brain to create more of the neurotransmitter Seratonin.

Social Anxiety disorder cannot be cured. It can only be treated. However, that goes without saying that if you work hard with your psychiatrist and psychologist, you can still live a very rewarding life with Social Anxiety disorder. You need to find the power inside you to not take to harshly other people's criticism, which is almost inevitable. You need to take the power that you have and inform your school professional or boss about this disorder, so they can make some exceptions for you in certain situations.

--Please visit http://www.socialphobia.org/ for more information involving this particular illness--

thanks for the links- socialphobia.org was extremely helpful. I will start attending an anxiety group this Thursday. Although I am excited about the treatment plan I am worried. It was one excerpt that stuck out to me." Some people with social anxiety feel that a certain part of their body (such as the face or neck) are particularly "strange looking" and vulnerable to being stared at. Others experience a muscle spasm (usually around the neck and shoulders) and it becomes the center of their focus ---"it's so embarrassing that if someone sees it I will be humiliated forever!" As weird as this may sound mine is farting in public. I am afraid that I will fart in public or does my breath stink, do i smell good, do I have BO do ppl think I'm stupid, ugly, fat, ect. because when I get nervous my stomach bubbles and i have to quickly leave the room and let one out- hoping that no one heard while i was in the bathroom. Now that I am typing it I find it very funny- but when I'm outside or in a crowded room like class, I freak out I sweat, get dizzy, nauseated, and it isn't funny then. As a result I have not seen my in laws in a over a year, seen my fathers side of the family in 2 years, unless two people stop by at a time and i still pace the room looking for something to serve or drink just so i won't sit face tot face or by anyone- and the only reason I saw them was because it was a funeral and i sat in the car for 90% of the service. This has destroyed my social life, I was social in my teens but since my first hospitalization it has gone up and down for the past seven years.I don't know where this came from or why I think this way. And I want to be the socialite i was.

viking wrote:I say stupid things all of the time. I have what I consider to be severe social anxiety. I sometimes get a little bit comfortable with a group of people, and try to join the conversation. I say something that I think is funny, but then no one laughs, and they continue the conversation as if I had not spoken. Sometimes when they are gossiping about someone, I chime in, but I feel bad afterward. I usually wish that I had just kept my mouth shut. I end up going home chiding myself all the time. I vow to just stay home by myself and never socialize again. I am happiest when I do not have to make conversation with anyone.

ditto times a million!!!!!!!!!!