eye contact

see im different then you all. I seem to make too much eye contanct and when i do i feel so damn strange and uncomfortable. My girlfriend says i, "Tweak Out". I make people feel strange too and they all do the same type of look away. I even do it to my own dad.... not my mom though :-\ anyone have the same problem as me?

Sometimes I have trouble knowing when to look away in uncomfortable situations. I used to have problems keeping eye contact, but I just forced myself to do it, and it got easier. I think it's because I'm focusing on it too much . I'm wondering if I'm reacting in an appropriate way, and focusing too much on making sure people don't think that I'm weird. I'm assuming that it's just one of my compulsions . Because I obsess over thinking that I'm becoming schizophrenic. When I do this I'm trying to prove to myself that I'm normal. I over analyse everything I do in social situations. But, it's usually only with people I don't really know.

aimdog, thats exactly how i am too. Im really stressing over that mental illness because it runs in my family.

Have any of you tried mild sedatives?

I have found Xanax, Valium, Ativan and Niravam to be very effective when combined with the right SSRI.

DrFred wrote:Have any of you tried mild sedatives?

I have found Xanax, Valium, Ativan and Niravam to be very effective when combined with the right SSRI.

I don't know if I would be comfortable with taking medications to help me out. I want to help myself without the use of drugs.

I thought I was the only one who avoided eye contact because it was uncomfortable. I avoid interacting with people because of the need of eye contact.

HeadInTheClouds wrote:

DrFred wrote:Have any of you tried mild sedatives?

I have found Xanax, Valium, Ativan and Niravam to be very effective when combined with the right SSRI.

I don't know if I would be comfortable with taking medications to help me out. I want to help myself without the use of drugs.

I think that sedatives like these should only be used in severe cases. These drugs can be very addictive.And, remember your not going to be cured by a little pill. It takes alot of hard work along with medication to recover from a mental illness. Having a hard time keeping eye contact is actually a pretty common symptom of social anxiety. I think that through positive thinking and basically just forcing yourself to keep eye contact will help with this. Also SSRIs alone can help emensely with social anxiety.

Eye contact is a powerful sensation for anyone - this is why in everyday situations people avoid looks of longer than a second. Eye contact can be seen as alluring, aggressive or downright rude. Thats why people who fear social situations often have trouble with it. There are a couple of specific causes of eye contact anxiety:

1) Socially anxious people (like myself and others here) experience a fear reaction when looking at the faces of strangers.

- the same way in which people who are afraid of dogs experience a fear reaction when they see a picture of a dog. This is most likely due to the association between people and danger - good ol' pavlovian conditioning (not that the results are good in any way).

2) Attributional errors

- eye contact is pretty powerful, most people get strong feelings when they look into the eyes of a stranger - this is quite normal and based on biological causes. Your limbic system becomes linked with a strangers when you make eye contact and this can be mistaken for feelings of anxiety if you are expecting anxiety anyway. Socially anxious people put in a room with loud noise and asked to converse are likely to attribute their unpleasant feelings to anxiety while non-anxious people correctly attribute it to the noise.

3) Specific irrational fears

- I call them irrational because either the thing that is feared is unlikely or because the fear of the event is irrational. Common fears include looking too aggressive or the other person seeing symptoms of anxiety (blushing, frowning, sweating) and rejecting you.

The single most effective way psychologists know to reduce anxiety reactions is through exposure. This reduces all three of these problems although any help you can get (medication, therapy, books etc) is more likely to help you do this quickly. Eye contact is a specific fear which is difficult to deal with, however, since there is always going to be the problem of that attributional error.

The best way to overcome it is to try and practice making eye contact with people. The more you do so the lesser the association you will feel between it and fear. Maybe consider telling people (trusted friends not complete strangers is best) that you fear eye contact so they won't react negatively when you look anxious and then you won't get that unfortunate vicious cycle of bad feeling (which is very familiar to me).

Note: you should use your own best judgement when deciding what to do. I am not a mental health professional just someone who knows what it's like and has done a lot of therapy, reading and hard work.