Newbie

Hi I'm new here, and I just wanted to say hello. I'm 21 years old, and have been diagnosed with Social Phobia since I was 16.

Hello, Preppygothpunk,
I just saw your post. I was recently diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, but have been "shy" all my life. It hinders me tremendously, in work, and in my personal life.

I am often lonely and afraid, but try to hide my weakness from others as best I can.
I also have ADD (without hyperactivity), and learning disabilities.
All these things combine together to make my life very difficult, and painful. "Small talk" is nearly impossible for me, and I understand that it is usually a necessary stage to go through before becoming closer to someone - i.e., making friends.

I am most comfortable alone in my apartment, with my books and TV. But the most prescious moments have been the few and far between times when someone allows me to "open up" with them, and she shows that she is truly listening and cares. Unfortunately, the other person usually, for whatever reason, does not reciprocate in kind...I do all the sharing, then start to resent that the situation is not "equal", as she seems not to value or trust me enough to do the same.

It feels wonderful to really "connect" with someone - these rare periods make me feel alive, and like maybe I do belong in this world, after all. But these times don't last - soon I am once again alone, lonely and typically on the "outside looking in".

Can anyone relate? I really hope someone writes (posts) back - I want to be a part of my world.

offbeatgrl53, I also feel the same about not showing weakness. I'm afraid that people will think I am incompetent, dumb,etc..

Thanks for replying

i've been really shy my whole life. i don't have friends or work because i'm so anxious around ppl..i fear being judged and looked at. sumtimes i get so anxious that i can't leave the house..or if i do, i spend the entire day (or days) dizzy and having chest pains.

i find it hard sumdays to do anything...other times, i make myself do things, even tho it's hard...

i can't really talk to ppl..on rare occasions i actually can talk to strangers..but sumtimes i can't even pick up the phone to call sumone...