Brain-Block

I get this a lot and I know I'm not alone. When I'm talking to someone online, or in-person, I run out of things to say, or don't know how to respond. So, I end up saying "Yeah" like a hundred times which obviously makes the other person most likely think I am not interested in the conversation.

So, I'm just wondering if anyone has an idea why this happens, or a theory to why this happens? Or better yet, if anyone knows how to get around this?

When this happens, I realize what I should of said hours after the conversation has ended. If this is true for most of us, this leads me to believe we don't have a problem knowing what/how to respond, it simply doesn't come to mind during the conversation. I'm guessing anxiety or some sort of mental restrain we have created for ourselves. But this happens sometimes too when I'm with with friends I feel very comfortable around. So anxiety just isn't good enough of an answer.

Too solve this: I guess if your in a situation where you don't know what to say, shift the attention to the other person by asking a question, but this doesn't always work.

I know exactly what you are talking about and, in my case, it was because I had little experience with talking to people; but it's also because I thought too much. If you think too much, it give you less time to concentrate on the conversation that you're having. A good idea would be to try to 'mellow-out' (i.e. - relax). If you can be comfortable with yourself, then you will gradually be less inhibited when speaking to someone and won't be constantly drifting off.

I'm the same way too iced. Its probably for me the amount of avoidance I have when in a social situation.

I do the same thing. I never have anything to say, so I just say 'yeah' 'cool' 'awesome', etc. one word answers, and hope to god the person talking to me has more to say, or goes away, before I make a complete fool of myself. sometimes the problem is also that I can't keep my attention on what the person is saying, due to intense anxiety, which leads to more one word responses. Sometimes when this happens, I repeat word for word what the person is saying to me in my head the second he says it, so I can try and say something back when he/she's done. That doesn't help however, I just over analyze what the person says and continue with my one word answers, making me seem like an asshole of some sort....

Saku wrote:I do the same thing. I never have anything to say, so I just say 'yeah' 'cool' 'awesome', etc. one word answers, and hope to god the person talking to me has more to say, or goes away, before I make a complete fool of myself. sometimes the problem is also that I can't keep my attention on what the person is saying, due to intense anxiety, which leads to more one word responses. Sometimes when this happens, I repeat word for word what the person is saying to me in my head the second he says it, so I can try and say something back when he/she's done. That doesn't help however, I just over analyze what the person says and continue with my one word answers, making me seem like an asshole of some sort....

Are you scared of expressing your true self? If yuo were, then you would be quite and would speak in one-worded answers.

I have this same problem. A lot of times I'll say something like "oh yeah" or "really?"

I don't know if this topic is too old to bump or not, but i've had the same problem. I've actually heard anxiety can lower intelligence and have considered that that may be the reason why I feel so like i'm not as smart and witty as I could be socially sometimes.

Also another weird thing for me.. I remember at my grandmother's house in her living room, it felt like I could think easier and socialize easier. I don't know if its the atmosphere or what.. but I think I realized that wide open spaces, stress me out a lot less than closed ones. Its something i've been wanting to test.. but so far its 2 for 2.

I wonder if this a a fairly universal problem with our species. Of course some would have it more than others. I believe that introverts often think slower in social situations than others. Introverts seem to function better when alone. I often do not know what to say, and I feel very uncomfortable. But I'm not stupid. I get high grades. In one 6 year period, I read over 1000 non-fiction books. so I'm well read. I'm slow, but not stupid. Some of us may need to accept that we are slow in social situations. I have noticed that people who have a lot to say and are quick and interesting are often wrong, and sometimes dishonest.
Jim S

I definitely believe that's the case. Sometimes I often stutter when talking. I believe people may just have different strengths. Also sometimes I want to be left alone, if I have company or something and i'm reading a book they always try to barge in and talk. Or if i'm on the lap top they constantly look over at my screen. Its very unnerving.

Its the reason why the door to my room has been locked almost everyday when i'm in here. Its just now until recently I for some reason keep it cracked, just to force myself to somewhat adapt to social situations. But I know I will never be as smooth at it as a lot of people are without even trying.

Have you actually tried to explain to this people that you like your 'quiet' time, Greatsharkbite? People (being people) expect that everyone is like them - i.e. social, talkative, etc. Unless you let them know who you really are, how can they know? I realised this point a few years ago and then decided not to be afraid to let people know the 'real' me. Oh yeh, on that point, don't be afraid to let people know the real you. If they don't like you, just ignore them and move on.

Kevin