Social phobia or just shyness?

0000

Hi,

I do not think that there are any differences between social phobia and shyness. Do you honestly think that they are different? 'Social phobia' is just a more correct way of saying that someone is 'shy'. I was exactly like you in the past. Our phobia / shyness was no different than the phobia someone has of spiders, or of heights. I mean, it is just the way we were born.

Due to our phobia, integrating with people was very slow for us, but we have done it now: We have overcome are phobia (partly).

Kevin

0000

That is a benefit that I got from this forum too (the feeling of not being "the only 1"). By the way, I also had fears of adventure-type things such as ropes, ladders, swings, etc. I was fearful of them because I always saw them as potentially dangerous. My mother taught me to be scared of everything - She 'wrapped me up in cotton wool', to protect me in my childhood.

Kevin

I began to have the same problems at around your age.
Especially the Mind reading thing.

What annoys me most is that i can read what other people think of me by just looking at their movements, reactions.

-People staring at me for a prolonged time.
-Entering a room. Leaving the room. Re-entering the room to get my keys, and i see 4 people staring at me, as if they got nothing else to do, it's as if i stepped in the room while they were badmouthing about me.

Anyway i can relate to everything you say. My Life is very hard I dont know what to do anymore. Right now i'm depressed about it.

Hi there,

this is my first post i think i just wated to share my experience here

Leenix I used to think the same way you did thinking that people are definitely looking at me and spotting or expecting any mistake and as soon as I leave the room they would gather and start talking about me.

but as soon as I started to lose a little of my fear to people I noticed that they are just a bunch of bored people sitting


They probably waiting for you to talk or say hi

and DON'T be scared to look them at the eye

Leenix, can I just give an alternative perspective on the two points you have made? 'Yes', you say? - Okay, then, here it goes:

-People staring at me for a prolonged time.

How do you know that they are staring at you? You could only know this if you were also staring at them. So, perhaps it was you who first fixed your gaze upon them, and then they were the ones who were wondering why you were staring at them.

-Entering a room. Leaving the room. Re-entering the room to get my keys, and i see 4 people staring at me, as if they got nothing else to do, it's as if i stepped in the room while they were badmouthing about me.

People naturally take a good look at the person who enters a room - It's just something that people do. However - and again - if you stare at them, they are going to stare back thinking what on earth you are at them for.

Kevin

Chucky: peripheral vision is a wonderful thing. :)
I have a hard time looking people in the eye and spend a good amount of my 'looking' by doing so indirectly. I never ever stare at people, yet I am very aware of what that person is doing. You don't have to look directly at someone to really 'see' them.

I also wouldn't say social phobia is the same as being shy. I don't consider myself shy at all. I'm actually quite outspoken. Yet I suffer strongly from social phobia. I do have my shy moments, but they're quite different from my phobic moments. I can tell the difference between them.

sixty-six wrote:Chucky: peripheral vision is a wonderful thing.
I have a hard time looking people in the eye and spend a good amount of my 'looking' by doing so indirectly. I never ever stare at people, yet I am very aware of what that person is doing. You don't have to look directly at someone to really 'see' them.

I know what you mean by this because it is typicaly what I do in order to make it appear that I am looking someone in the eye. It is like looking through the person, rather than directly at them. When you do that, the person appears sort of blurred and it is a bit easier to talk to them. Still, this involves conscious thought which means that you can become distracted from what the person is saying to you. Oh well, I don't really care because what they say is typically boring anyway!

Sorry, I didn't mean that. When I'm talking to people, I don't really look at them. I look around me or fiddle with my sleeve or something. I will make periodical eye contact, but only for a brief second. I try to be more aware of this, because I don't want to seem rude, but it takes a lot of effort to look at someone in the eye. It feels awkward.

I was referring to being aware of what other people are doing around me, when I'm not interacting with them. I can tell if people are staring at me or what they're doing when it clearly doesn't look like I'm paying attention to them. I know this, because friends have commented on it, that I don't pay attention to things, when I clearly am.