Scared to be away from children.

Hello everyone! I'm hoping to get some information on separation anxiety disorder. Or if I've diagnosed it wrong help on what ever it is!
I started dating a wonderful woman 3 months ago. She has three children, a 17 year old son and girls 9 & 10. I knew the children before we started dating. All of our dating except one time the girls were with us. Out to eat, bowel, go to park or hanging out at home. One time we went to the airport alone to watch the planes land that was the only time we were all alone. That paticular time was when the childrens Uncle was in town visiting and asked to keep the girls overnight with him. My girlfriend was a nervous wreck! This was the first time the 9 & 10 years olds slept overnight away from their Mom! Anyway after a few months of no alone time I sent her a letter saying that I loved her and the girls and had so much fun with them, but I really needed a little alone time with just her. She responded with- don't make me choose! I said there is no choice your girls should always be number one, I just need to have a little alone time to get to know her. The next two weeks she slowly built a wall and finally broke everything off with me and even acts like she hates me??
This has been so confusing for me. She had been showing me how much she cared for me and said I made her the happiest woman in the world! I know it's over, but I need some closure? Something, have I diagnosed it right? If so, I worry about her and the girls future. They don't have many friends and never leave the house unless Mom is with them. Any comments or suggestions please!
Thanks!

Hey,

How long ago have ye two been 'broken up'? I wouldn't count the relationship as being completely dead just yet (if it was recent).

Anyway, what she's doing is metaphorically wrapping her children up in cotton wool, which is actually becoming ever more common nowadays. It is more common because parents are ever more fearful for their childrens' safety. Like, just put on the news and you'll hear about paedophiles, rapists, abductions, etc. A parent is there to protect their child - but it can be taken to the extreme, as it is in this particular case.

Her reaction (or, rather, her 'over-reaction') to your simple request is proof that she's obsessed about their safety and that it's causing her a great deal of stress. If you wish to continue this relationship, I suggest getting in touch and telling her that you understand her fears for her childrens' safety. However, she needs to know that if she continues to treat them in this way, they will grow into weak, unimpressioned adults who will most likely fail at their first hurdles in life.

I speak from experience.

Kevin.