Help...

Hi,
I'm not sure if I have what is considered social anxiety disorder or not. I saw the description of it in a magazine and then looked it up online and most of the symptoms matched what I felt. I'll give you a little background..

I'm 19 and I've always been shy and quiet. When I was younger I had no trouble making friends and was involved in a lot of activities in middle school, but I was always quiet in class. I never answered questions or volunteered to read or anything. I HATE giving oral presentations. In high school, I was involved in far fewere activities and I was still quiet in class. Never contributed to discussions or volunteered to read or answer questions. I think of myself as being a smart person and I do well on papers and tests, however my lack of participation hurt my grades some. I'm now in college and am now involved in zero activities and the fear of speaking in class has grown even more. I sit in constant fear on the first day of classes afraid that I would have to introduce myself in one of those wacky icebreaker games. I still despise oral presentions and I get extremely nervous days before them (I actually have one to give at the end of this week and I'm almost in tears just thinking about it!). One thing that I think contributes to this quietness in class is that I stutter. I think that because I stutter I don't participate in class and hate presentations. I have a hard time maintaining conversations with new people because I'm afraid they will judge me for stuttering or be judging me for how I look. I want to take online college courses just so I can avoid the classroom setting that terrifies me so much but my parents won't let me do so.

However, there are other situtations that don't involve speaking where I feel social phobic. Like I said, I'm in college and I won't go to the cafeteria by myself or go anywhere alone. It's a small campus and perfectly safe but I always feel as if someone will be watching me and judging me. Half of the time I don't eat meals because my friends don't tell me when they're going to eat, so I just don't go because I don't want to go alone. I'm afraid of walking in front of a group of people by myself since I think they're all watching me and judging me. I won't go to a fast food restaurant to grab a quick meal because I don't want to talk to the cashier and I think they'll judge me for eating there. I refuse to answer the telephone or call people unless I am 100% sure the person I'm trying to reach will answer the phone. I sit in my dorm room after class all day, every day so I won't have to encounter others in a stressful situation.

So I just realized how long this is and I thank anyone who has chosen to read it. I'm not really expecting any responses but my questions are, do you think what I feel qualifies as a social anxiety disorder? There are more situations I could list but this is already so long. Also, what should I do to try to get over these fears? I'm afraid to talk to my parents about it since I think they'll dismiss it as nothing. I feel so lost most of the time and just don't know what to do.

Hey sporty, I think that you can relate to many, many people who go through these thoughts. ((((sporty)))) I find, for myself, that gaining a good opinion of me, focusing on the good, and accepting everything that I am, is conducive to starting the journey into healing and balancing of who you are. I would encourage you to make a list of all of the accomplishments you have made in life, congratulate yourself for them, and continue to observe all of the things that you do that the typical person doesn't do. Not many people have whay it takes to go to college and there you are. I am sure you have plenty of other qualities that are applaudible. Look inside of you and accept you, if you want, good AND bad. Then, you can control you in mindset of peace and serenity. It won't matter what others think because you could care less about them. You can still be cordial and nice, but because YOU want to be not because someone forces you to be. It is your life, not everyone else's. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.
By the way, reaching out to help yourself is another great quality. Yo have self-awareness.

Hi sportygirl55! I can relate to a lot of what you go through and yes it is hard to be social with others when you are constantly stressing over how people think of you and your actions.

Have you seen a doctor or therapist about your concerns? I ask this because it sounds like you may have Avoidant Personality Disorder (APD) and not just Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) because Avoidants tend to stress about what others are thinking and how they are reacting to them more than their own reactions to others. But only a professional can tell for sure.......so if you can try to seek one out. Also check out APD forums here as well.

Always remember that other people do not think as much as we may think.....try to clear your mind of any excessive analysis of the social situations you are in. Now that you are in college people will be a lot more understanding, so don't be afraid of what they think as much as you have been in the previous grades.

Thanks for both of your replies.

No, I haven't seen a therapist or anything for this. I had an unsuccessful (and rather creepy) experience with a therapist for my needle phobia so I'm not really keen on seeing another. Plus, I'm too afraid to talk to my parents or anyone about it since they usually tend to downplay any injuries or concerns I have.

I did some research on this Avoidant Personality Disorder and a lot of the symptoms sound like what I feel as well.

I know I shouldn't care about what people think, and I try not to care. The thing is I know that this fear of always being watched and judged is totally irrational but I can't help it. I have a presentation for one of my classes in two days and I'm really stressing about speaking in front of everyone.

I am glad I found this message board; now I know that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Yes that is how I always thought of my fear of other people judging me.....it is irrational. The problem is that we often don't treat it that way. It is obvious that irrational things are stuff we shouldn't care or stress about.....and yet it still has the power to seize us in its chains of paranoia.

You'll do good in that presentation.....just remember to be of a calm mind before it. Don't think so much about the people watching and focus on the presentation as if no one is there (if that helps).

You could always find another therapist to at least discuss these issues you have so you can know for sure whether you have either SAD or APD.....and there are good therapists and bad therapists. But of course you don't have to.....if you want you can just stick to this place and we'll be here for you.