CONFUSED!

Well I guess to start off, im basically in the same boat as a lot of the people here in a way. Except i noticed that a lot of people here pretty much grew up that way. I on the other hand never used to be like this! growing up, i was a shy and quiet kid BUT i always used to do stupid and silly things to make people laugh and always loved to entertain.

now, at almost 23, its a WHOLE different story! for the past few years, maybe 3-4 or so, i noticed that ive lost touch with my friends ive grown up with and i dont talk much even to my own family! I DIDNT EVEN DANCE AT MY OWN SISTERS WEDDING just because i didnt want anyone to say anything and i didnt want to 'look stupid'. and of course the girl that i only ever had emotions for was there too so that made me feel so much like an ass because i was the only one sitting there. another big problem i have is starting / holding convos. I can click well with very little people where i can sit there and talk all day long but for the majority of people, its mostly just "hey whats up?" "nothing much you?" and thats that..

im not sure what happened to me but i will say that i went through a pretty sever depression during the past 3-4 years that i started noticing this change. im kind of on an emotional roller coaster now and i wonder if i will ever change for the better even after i get through this depression that im going through (thnk GOD that its getting better though) i just want to know if anyones experienced this or is experiencing thisand how your handling it? is there anything i can do to help with what im going through? im kind of in a rush so im sure i left out a lot of things. thnx in advance for any help / advice!

Hey, confused1! Welcome to the forum. You don't have to have a lot of friends or keep in touch with your family if you don't want to. It's ok to be more of a loner, but if this is bothering you, maybe you need to think back to the way things were 4 years ago and try to understand what might have happened. Maybe you had to be appart from your family for the first time or for too long or maybe you went through a break up or something and it started there. I hope you can make sense of things.
I don't think I have social phobia, I am often scared of being around others or just outside too. I try to take little steps that I know will help me, like going for a walk or spending some time with a friend. Being able to tell someone about what makes me feel worried helps too.

Hi confused1, you are not alone in your experience. I too wasn't always a social phobic......when I was a kid had very little inhibitions. I didn't care what other people thought of me and I would just be myself without worry. Basically the opposite of social phobia......I actually had no real fear at all of anything (except for my abusive father). When I reached junior high I began to get more socially inhibited, but still not as much. Then when high school came these feelings intensified.......while I was able to be somewhat social and funny during class, I could not be social outside of it due to fear and insecurities.

I have a feeling it had to do with the environment I lived in when I was younger.....I lived in a state of fear when I was at home due to the unpredictable nature of my father and this fear must have manifested itself in social phobia later on in life. Were you ever abused when you were a child or ever lived in a fear of that abuse? If so it could be a result of that.

On the other hand I still do love social experiences..........in fact I love partying and chilling with friends more than almost anything else......the problem is the fear of being seen in the wrong way or being misunderstood as you may have when you were at your sister's wedding. I hope both of us could conquer these phobias because it really isn't the real us. One way that helps me sometimes is clearing the mind of thoughts and not thinking about the situation so much as a task. Also realizing that other people do a lot less thinking than we do will also help.

i wouldnt say i was abused or anything but yea my dad showed me 'tough love' guess you could say. lots of arguments growing up within the family and being the youngest, i was always afraid and he wasnt around much.

"I hope both of us could conquer these phobias because it really isn't the real us."

same here my friend. glad you made that post though because it sounds just like me lol i think i just need to get laid LOL

Hey, confused1! How have you been? Sorry about such a late reply. When you feel bad, you can start a thread and talk about anything you like.