Panicking Over Friends Possibly Coming Over

I received a text message from a few friends of mine who are planing on coming into town to see me.......and I'm really afraid that they might stop by. I'm thinking of leaving the house but it's really cold outside. I had a sudden panic attack a few minuets ago, my breath was deepening........and I usually never have panic attacks. But for some reason I am getting so afraid......every car that drives by, every car door that opens and closes makes me even more afraid that they are coming. I would call or text them back saying I have other engagements but my phone does is screwed up as well right now.

So what am I afraid about? Well I'm always nervous about people in my place and what they might think of it. I don't have any weed, which they know me for having all the time so I'll make myself look like even more of a fool. I don't know how to entertain them right now especially since I have no other friends of mine at home and all my music is dated.....+ all my new music is scattered everywhere. Gah! I have no money to buy alcohol right now, any money I do have is in my bank which I can't access because I have no photo ID.

I ######6 want to die so badly right now.........I ###$ up so much. I run away from friends and potential friends all the time, and this never seems to end.

Sorry to bother anyone else with this useless post. I just had to get it out.

Hi, whatswrongwithme! It's ok to be scared and you can post any time you feel like it. I get nervous when I have to deal with people too, sometimes.
If you can't get through to them and tell them you won't be home, you could just pretend that you're not there if they knock on the door. Or you talk to them for a few minutes but tell them you have to leave soon so they can't stay for long if they do show up. I hope you feel better.

jasmin wrote:Hi, whatswrongwithme! It's ok to be scared and you can post any time you feel like it. I get nervous when I have to deal with people too, sometimes.
If you can't get through to them and tell them you won't be home, you could just pretend that you're not there if they knock on the door. Or you talk to them for a few minutes but tell them you have to leave soon so they can't stay for long if they do show up. I hope you feel better.

It's strange because the next day for the first time in a long time I called up other friends and went over to smoke a few bowls.......strange how I have this love-hate relationship with socializing.

Ha, I get days when I'm fine with it too. And then there are days when I feel like I could have a "normal" life and go out of the house every day for a long time, but I know it won't last. I guess the fact that those days exist means that there's hope for us.

It really sucks though because you can loose a lot of friends this way. There are many old friends that have called me...........and I, being afraid never called them back and that obviously withers a friendship away, even if it doesn't out right end it. So it only ends up digging a deeper hole for myself that lessens any hope.

Maybe you can try to have only a few close friends or just one that you can depend on. Call them back and try to trust them and maybe you'll find someone who treats you as well as you treat them.

Tormented Soul:

I think your problem is with the unexpectedness of the visit, not the actual socialization, although I could be wrong obviously. Because you don't seem to have a problem with planned socialization that you have initiated yourself.
I can go out with a friend on a planned outing of some sort and not get anxious, because I have prepared myself mentally.
However, the same friend can drop by unexpectedly, and if I feel in a vulnerable mood, I might be almost as nervous as if I didn't know them at all.