Hey whats up, my name is mike and i got a few questions and im looking for anyone with similar problems.
I started smoking weed pretty young, around 13. Yeah i know its #######5 but it just happened.
I absolutely loved it, id smoke with my friends and meet new people and smoke with random people all the time and feel completely comfortable with it.
from like 8th grade to 11th grade i smoked and had a great time.
But like after awhile I started to just get paranoid when i would smoke. I would smoke with best freinds and get nervous, and like not know what to say or talk about.
its weird i would just feel uncomfortable. i would keep thinking like.. should i say this.. should i say that. and it was totally stupid because ive known these people forever.
i felt like a weirdo. so i would keep smoking, and occasionally id feel fine, but after awhile everytime i would smoke would be horrible. exactly like that.
just completely uncomfortable with my surroundings, thoughts and everyone around me.
So i stopped. i would take breaks alot then smoke again and more then likely feel the same #######5 way.
right now im on a good 3 month break.
But after all this i began to realize that stuff like this would happen to me without being high. Sometimes when im with even my bestfreinds ill get uncomfortable occasionally.
But it wasent like weed. When i was high it was permanent, i could not redeem myself. When im sober it would happen occasionally but i could redeem myself.
It happens alot with aquintances(excuse my spelling). i wont even by high and ill be hanging out with people that ive been around alot but not much, and ill just feel like nervous, or i wont know what to talk about.
it will happen chilling 1 on 1 with better freinds too.
with really close freinds, sometimes ill feel weird at pointless times and it sucks
i can always tell because ill do nervous habits like ask completely useless questions or ill start to Yawk. or maybe even fake cough.
what im trying to find out is
is this just straight up Social anxiety?
Is that what its labeled as for some of you?
does this type of thing happen?
Whatever it is, is their anyway to get rid of the feeling?
Are their any medications i can take without taking over my body to get this to go away..?
Thats what im afraid of sometimes, my sister was clinically depressed and she took meds and she just doesent seem the same as she did before still.
Like i want this weirdness to go away, but i want to be the same person.