Shy Extrovert

I've always been really shy and anxious around others. But when people get to know me, they become surprised by that because they assume the exact opposite with how outgoing I always am.

I've never been comfortable around people. There have been many, many, MANY times where after I was all done mingling on some social setting, I had to stop and gather myself with how anxious I would get. And now the classic question: if I'm so shy and with such bad social anxiety, why am I always outgoing? I can already see those reading turning their heads at this, but I try to be social as a means of coping with it.

People terrify me, it's true. But when I remain quiet and keep to myself like you'd expect from someone who is shy, it's just so much worse for me. I feel terribly out of place being the quiet one in any social setting, I can't stand it! It makes me even more anxious and it depresses me as well. I regret every time. So I do the opposite! I put myself out there and become a people person. It's kind of a no-win situation for me since it still gives me anxiety, but the alternative of staying silent is so much worse.

I don't know if there's really such a thing as a "shy extrovert". That's an oxymoron if you've ever seen one, right? But if there isn't then allow me to coin the term because it defines me to a tee!

Hello and welcome!

I'm not sure about the 'shy extrovert'. I mean, I see that it is a thing, but I'm not sure if that equates to Social Anxiety.

I'm known for being quiet and shy; yet I can also be quite talkative, once I'm relaxed. I don't consider myself to have social anxiety, however- the ICD-10 defines Social Anxiety Disorder as

fear of being the focus of attention, or fear of behaving in a way that will be embarrassing or humiliating, avoidance and anxiety symptoms.

Most people with it, seem to find it debilitating. Acc'd to Wiki, it's often countered by abuse of alcohol and drugs, in order to get a person through it.

Do you find that you have to drink to 'loosen up'?

Nope. I tried drinking once. It did make me loosen up more, but I quickly learned it's not for me. And I hate being the center of attention! I never try to be that. It's more like finding a medium between "life of the party" and "quiet one in the corner", which I believe would be "partygoer".