Hey
So recently my mum got diagnosed with schizophrenia and I got diagnosed with general anxiety but I don’t think I have that because the only thing I’m scared of is people. It’s like i can’t walk down the street I feel like everyone’s watching my facial expressions or they can tell I’m anxious/ not reacting normally. CCTV freaks me out too. I avoid talking to people because I’ll get stuck in a conversation and won’t know what to say half way through, also I’m not even that interested in other people most the time, it depends how I feel.
When I’m hanging out with a group of “friends” I constantly feel like there’s pressure to not be weird or become a social outcast so I’m often quiet. I talk a lot to my boyfriend and my two friends who I feel comfortable with but that’s because I know they accept me because they all have anxiety so I’m not worried.
It sucks though because I feel like I can’t be myself or have more close friends also I look so anxious in public people have literally asked me if I’m okay and it’s embarrassing.
Tbh I get embarrassed about everything, sound of my own voice, asking for help etc
Not sure if this is social anxiety, I’m schizotypical or it’s just from living with my mum and learning attitudes from her. Feel a bit hopeless