How to turn acquaintances into friends

I have come so far in terms of beating my social phobia. But now I feel like I am stuck, I have tried so many things, but I still don't have the group of friends that I want more than anything else.

My question is this - how do you get from the acquaintance stage to the friends stage? After doing a lot of work on myself I've found I'm getting along with people better than ever before, and they actually seem to like me, I just don't feel like I know them well enough to spend time with them away from the situation.

Old friends I've asked to catch up with again seem interested, but when it comes down to it, I feel like I'm pushing something on them that they could either take or leave. It's the same with people I've just met, I feel like I come across as desperate when I ask them to catch up for coffee or something. (I rarely ask though)

Does anyone have any ideas on what I can do to make it easier? Maybe I just need to hear that people don't think it's desperate if an acquaintance asked them for lunch or something. (For the record, I have a sneaking suspicion that I come across as anything but desperate, I've been told before that I come across as 'too cool' for anyone else - a well polished act!)

greencat,

It's not desperate......All friendships start of as just acquaintance's. It can take some time but sooner or later it will happen. When someone says to you hey call me and we should do lunch or go for a coffee then do it....

Now I would say it was desperation if you were calling these people 5-6 times a day asking them what are they doing and did they want to hang out but by your own admission you don't.

It sounds like you are well on your way to making a group of friends. Just don't expect it to happen over night.

Good Luck with the new and old friends I know you can do it.