Where to focus during eye contact!

Hey all,

When it comes to making eye contact, should you focus on the person's iris? Or focus on the pupil? I'm surprised at how much trouble I am having finding an answer for this. I feel like it's a legitimate question. Any input is very much appreciated. Thanks!

Personally i like to focus on the iris because then it makes it less awkward for me to maintain eye contact when im focusing on looking at the details of their eye coloring whereas the pupil is really boring and doesnt distract me as much.

A classic read is the the "Body Language" book by Allan Pease. It's been around since the eighties but hasn't changed much. It has chapter on "Eye Signals" which I think will help you. If you have trouble finding a copy let me know and i can provide you an extract of the pages.

Be warned, if you read the whole book you will never look at other people and their gestures the same again. Fascinating though.

I should also mention reading the book will also make you very self conscious about your own gestures and how people see you. It goes away after awhile but it is hard to un-see.

I remember when mom was angry at me, I couldn't look into her eyes. I focused instead on her knotted brow. It was easier to do that.
Some people are easier to look in the eyes when they are wearing glasses. I just focus on the reflection.
If they are wearing shaded or tinted glasses, it is difficult to tell what they are looking at. Employees can only wear shaded/tinted eyewear for bonafide medical reasons in the workplace.