Social anxiety only with dating or going out drinking?

I've never seen a therapist so I haven't been diagnosed with anything so I'm not supposed to say I have anxiety because people who've been diagnosed get offended. But I have researched it a lot and it describes me perfectly so I think I have anxiety, more so social anxiety. I've always been shy but instead of growing out of it I think I've gotten worse. I used to go out with my friends every weekend in high school and be extraverted with them. Now I'd rather stay home (I'm 29). My friends and cousin and I would go to teen night sometimes in high school, at a club with music but no alcohol. I didn't feel uncomfortable there, I danced with guys and even made out with one. I was 16-17 at the time. But then when I became of drinking age and friends and co workers would ask me to go out with them on the weekends I would feel really scared and say no. I don't know why. And then they'd tell me how much fun they had and it sounded fun but also I feel like I wouldn't have been comfortable. I don't think I'd like the feeling of losing control from drinking, for example not remembering how I got home. I think I'd like to be in control of what happens to me.
I also feel scared of dating. I like texting with guys on apps and getting to know them but when they ask to meet in person I feel so scared. Usually I ask them please let's wait longer. Sometimes they are okay with it and sometimes they aren't so I stop talking to them. But the ones that do wait I eventually do meet them for a date. But I feel nervous/scared hours beforehand, then on the actual date I'm okay and can talk. Then after the date if I don't hear from them I start wondering if they didn't like me, will he ask me out again, should I say something, did he lie about seeing me again, etc. I've been on about 8 dates in my life, 3 of them with the same person, another 3 with another person, and 1 each with with 2 other guys. But after the 3rd date, both times, nothing happened. They both got distance, and I got bad anxiety about it. Like what did I do wrong, why does no one want to be my boyfriend, etc. It just feels crappy that no one stays interested longer than 3 dates. I've never had a boyfriend or sex and it feels like it will never happen because I always feel awkward around people and guys so far have never stayed interested in me to have an actual relationship even though I want one.
So yeah I don't know what to do, how to be normal. Do I have social anxiety?