My roots of social phobia was probably in me from when I was born, I was always the quiet and shy one. Never had any friends or long term relationships, which is fine by me. I don't blame social phobia for it, it's just I have nothing to do with people at all. Every social situation is either boring, or stressing. When I feel comfortable around some people, I would say that I am even arrogant and careless towards them. When I don't, I am exactly opposite of arrogant, I am just passive, avoiding talking as much as I can, giving quick one word responses, because mostly I can't even think normally .. all my consciousness is taken by the anxiety. So I just give up, there is no sense of me being around people, when neither me and people are gonna have any beneffit from it.
However world is still full of people and I just can't understand why I can't act freelly and naturally around them when I could care less about their opinion. Sometimes the anxiety even switches to anger on myself and everything around me just for getting the anxiety constantly, with no reason. It's really frustrating and sounds easy to overcome - JUST DONT CARE. But why is the not caring so hard? I don't need any of the people to like me, because I don't like them too, but why the social ######6 phobia still works then? I mean, what even if I do something I am scared of, like say something stupid, drop the glass or fall off? I still have home, job and that's not something I'm gonna lose if some judgemental dick laugh at me. Not to mention that the people are possibly far less judgemental than I think. And I guess many social phobiers have the similar feelings, but struggling with realization. Because when in anxiety, all these rational things doesnt exist. Just the people. And what they think about us.
Most of my social phobia developed during school years, because all I was doing was adjusting to others and was forced to listen and learn things I didn't care about. I was not able to say "no" to the things I could. Now I am 24, working for 4 years, have no issues with colleagues, they are tying to be tolerant, no one forces me to do anything i don't like, I have nothing to be stressed about or scared of, just the social phobia ... itself ..
What are your opinions? Isn't it just about how we interpret the reality and other people? Aren't other people from our perspective much more important for us then we are for them? Don't you think it is caused mainly by lack of self reflection? Could it be caused by not feeling appreciated when young?