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Do not want other people to touch me?

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Do not want other people to touch me?

Postby Lineapple » Sun Mar 05, 2017 8:06 am

As soon as i get close to other people, i feel like they are going to bump into me or hurt me and therefore i do not want to be close to them physically. I know it is not claustrophobia because i am fine in tight spaces, it is just that when people are around me, i feel squeezed and like i cant breathe. I hate hugs or if someone touches my arm. And im not afraid of getting too close to people emotionally, just physically. I know its irrational but i cant stop feeling this way.
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Re: Do not want other people to touch me?

Postby saila » Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:42 pm

No, this it is not irrational, that you don't want strangers to touch you. This is common, but also most sensible.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proxemics

The fact that you start this topic, indicates to me that you are suffering from a tension, that you are unable to resolve. That raises the suspicion, that you are hesitating to communicate to your surroundings the terms on which you want to have organised social interaction.

And that maybe you are confronted with commons, that make you uncomfortable. And you don't know how to tell or even demand your needs to/of your surroundings.

This is where I estimate the crux of the matter.

You could be straightforward and communicate you feeling uncomfortably with close speaking distances and being touched directly. In fact from my observation society lacks that people say their real intentions and needs simply open and direct from time to time. Probably because we fear being repelled. The question is: does an alternative tactics exist at all? Maybe yet communicating you feeling uncomfortably non-verbally. I don't see an alternative. Writing a letter. A quite sane person with other customs might react surprised, but why in the world wouldn't he honor your stated needs?
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Re: Do not want other people to touch me?

Postby Lineapple » Tue Mar 07, 2017 1:50 am

Thank you for answering because now i feel more reassured that this feeling i have is valid but also can and should be talked about to people if i am ever feeling uncomfortable. I will also read the article from wikeledia you sent :)
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Re: Do not want other people to touch me?

Postby saila » Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:26 pm

Thanks for feedback.

Maybe if someone is very myopic and doesn't have glasses/lenses, that might be a reason why someone would come too close. Because otherwise he could simply not recognise us our our communication.

I had that in office, that Folks came up to 10 inches abpruptly. I found that terrible and terrifying.
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