Childhood trauma and social phobia. Pleas help.

I know this is a long post but I would be glad if someone would read this .Also I dont really know if I should post this here or at the trauma thread.
First of all I would like to tell my story and then ask for advices on how I should move on in my life. My childhood years until the age of 10 were really bad. My father had mental health problems and would often turn aggresive and/or violent towards me my sister and my mother. When I was 10 he finally started taking medication and calmed down ever since then. I think this must have traumatized me to this day I have a lot of problems that stop me from normally interacting with other people.
To begin with, I was always really shy with people I wasn't familiar with and had troubles socialising, though I managed to make some long lasting friendships. I was always afraid that people might make fun of me or criticise me, plus I never really knew how to open discussions with other people and almost always felt like I didnt have much to say. Additionally I couldnt help myself from feeling that I might be annoying to other people, so as you can understand my social phobia and awkwardness have kept me back from trying new things and meeting new people.
When I was 16 years old I met a girl who was really friendly with me and tried to befriend me and make me open up even though I was behaving awkwardlly and clumsy with her. I started having a huge crush on her since she seemed at that time a nice, extroverted friendly girl. I decided to express my feelings to her even though she was way out of my league, but it ended up really bad. One night we were out at a club and I asked her to dance with me. At first she said yes but when she saw me dancing (really bad to be honest) she started laughing at me and left.At that time, I was really shocked and hurt because it was the first time she would act like that with me and I could never see that coming. After that she started avoiding me and stopped talking to me even when I tried to open a discussion with her a couple of times.
This went on for 5 months until one day after the next school year had begun, she started talking to me again in the same friendly way as she used to, like nothing had happened. Since I was afraid of her and having my feelings crashed again I chose to be cold with her and keep a distance. After a few months she wanted to have a serious discussion with me and tried to explain to me why she behaved that way. She said that some girls from our classroom thought that we were a couple which made her embarassed and uncomfortable to the point that she didnt want to talk with me.I think she was trying to apologize and make up somehow for mistreating me but I was never able to trust and feel comfortable with her, so I continued keeping a distance from her. This in turn made her act weird and cold with me probably because she was annoyed by the fact that I wasn't talking with her. We never talked ever since.
Today Im 21 studying at a university and I feel like i havent made any progress. I have never had a girlfriend nor had sex and I cant get her out of my mind even after so many years. I think this is really weird and pathetic and probably happens because I havent found another girl to have a relationship with. This in turn, is caused by my lack of social skills and social phobia which prevents me from meeting new people and making friendships with those who seem interesting.What I want is some advice on how should I overcome my problems and move on with my life. I want to be able to have complete relationships with other people and I want to get unstuck from the situation I am stuck in. I am really considering seeing a therapist because I think my childhood traumas and the rejection from her are playing a huge role to the solution of my problem. I would really appreciate if someone could give me an advice about what to do because Im really lost.

Hey,

I neither had the greatest of childhoods, which included some traumatic events just like yours. Equally, I developed a huge crush on just one girl who lived nearby where I was growing up. It did take me a while to move on from her, even though we never officially went out.

Due to my own social phobia, I found it difficult to meet new people. When I was at university in Dublin, Ireland, I had a few close friends and went out with them whenever I could. To get to that point, though, I had to push myself really hard to just get the courage to go out. You may need to push yourself a bit, too?

Another thing that helped was actually online dating websites. You come across as a kind person, so, I'm sure that will come across in your communication with people. Even if you don't end up meeting anyone from a website, it may give you an idea of who else is out there.

Love and relationships have changed these days with the evolution of the Internet - remember that too.

Anyway, those are just my thoughts.

Kevin