What I've Gained From Social Phobia

(Okay, this may be a controversial thread, but it's very important for me to discuss these things. I can't speak for anyone else, but I feel like Social Phobia has taught me some valuable lessons in addition to the things it's taken from me. If anyone else feels similarly, please join in. If you feel like your condition has taken but given nothing back, feel free to say that, too.)

Social Phobia has taught me....

...to be sympathetic to those with "invisible" disabilities. I used to think that "disabled" was something you could see. Now I know better. Having suffered for years with a disability I didn't know I had, I now remind myself that others may also be suffering unawares.

...I must recognize my limits. Just because I don't understand what I'm afraid of doesn't mean the fear isn't "real."

..."reality" is overrated. People said my fears were not real, but Santa Claus can be recognized by kids from New Zealand to Germany to Canada and cause the largest annual economic shifts ever, all without being real.

...doctors make mistakes, like everyone else. They misdiagnose, they assign treatments based more on their own experiences than the patient's, they assume they know all about you after half an hour, even before you've told them what happens during the other twenty-three and a half.

...I must participate in my own treatment in order to reap the benefits.

...I may never be done healing...and that's okay...

(The list is a work in progress. Feel free to add!)

i have a friend (new member) called vdub, i think you wud find alot of insight and new outlooks from his posts, and tradin PM's. i know he wud welcome it....i bet is right up yer alley, finding enlightenment, and seeking higher awareness is his thing....alot of really interestin stuf.just a thought. take care bud, 'core

"reality" is overrated. People said my fears were not real, but Santa Claus can be recognized by kids from New Zealand to Germany to Canada and cause the largest annual economic shifts ever, all without being real.

Right. I suppose you could change "real" to "irrationnal" then. Santa Claus is not rational either ; if you take a kid who's afraid of some big monster under the bed, that's not a rational (founded on reality, i mean) fear. But there's no point denying the fear is there.

My contribution... Social phobia has taught me :

- that people (everyone !) have their own problems, even if you don't see it. Sometimes much bigger problems than social phobia.

- that if you talk to them about themselves, they will appreciate it. Compliment them and you're sure to be accepted

- People who make fun of you generally don't do it because you are ridiculous but because they need it to improve their own self-esteem

- There is no point trying to change yourself to please others. Just be yourself and see who will come to you, or who you want to be friends with. Choose, don't wait to be chosen.

I'll come back when i think of something else...

Only thing that someone can gain from social phobia is STOCKHLOME SINDROME!

JurajCroatia wrote:Only thing that someone can gain from social phobia is STOCKHLOME SINDROME!

I respect your opinion, but you are incorrect. Stockholm syndrome is a totally unrelated conditon, a social psych phenomenon rather than a mental or emotional disease. Stockholm syndrome is a circumstance that can be forced onto anyone, accidentally or deliberately, given the right circumstances. Social Phobia, while perhaps not always congenital, is not directly connected to a set of circumstances the way SS is.

If you were making a joke or expressing a metaphor, I'm sorry, but it didn't translate. Please feel free to explain your feelings.

Back on topic, other things I've learned from Social Phobia:

--I can teach people about my condition. Some aren't willing to learn, but many are quite grateful to learn what other people are going through. It makes them better people.

--Not everyone has the same kind of social phobia, or needs the same treatment for it. I re-learned that one here on these forums.

...that if your problem is named it becomes bearable - but when the time is right, you must throw away that name.

Focusing on the 'positives' is an EXCELLENT way to gain perspective and create positive feelings. All too often we dwell on the negatives which make us feel bad and we caught in a vicious cycle.

Focusing on the way forward and where we want to be is the solution.

My advice to anyone is to get clear on where you want to go and set small goals and take baby steps towards getting there.

Everything happens for a reason. If you didn't have social phobia, you probably won't be the person you are today. It gives different perspective views on life. Not to mention, like you said now, you can help others. How cool is that? Basically, you lived to tell people that social phobia can be fixed, not some incurable disease