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Introduction: Atypical Sociophobe

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Introduction: Atypical Sociophobe

Postby DeepShadow » Mon May 14, 2007 6:34 pm

Where to start? I don't know exactly how much I have in common with other sociophobes. It was tricky to diagnose me at first, but I'm confident we found the correct category.

I guess the first place to start is with the biggest difference: I am very comfortable as a public speaker. My therapists and I finally figured out that this was actually a control mechanism I developed out of my talent for public speaking. If I'm in front of a crowd, I'm in control. If everyone stares at me, that's as it should be. I've been a member of Toastmasters International and have taken awards at the state level.

Before you wonder if I was misdiagnosed, let me tell you this: I am terrified of being a member of an audience. I always feel like everyone is staring at me instead of the speaker. I have to sit with my back to the wall, where I can see all the people and exits. If I'm not part of the show, I often won't go at all.

It's been ten years since I was diagnosed. I take care of my attacks and anxiety in my own ways, but lately that's not been enough. As I'm sure many of you know, SP is a protean adversary: just when you think you've killed it for good, it takes another form. I've come here because I need to talk to others about what they do. Perhaps some of my tools will help some of you, and vice versa.
We all have a set of instinctive fears: of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, of speaking before a rotary club, and of the words, "some assembly required."--Dave Barry
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Postby somebody » Mon May 14, 2007 7:21 pm

Your therapist couldn't actually help you with this?

Exposure therary (start going to conferences as a member too). Changing the way of thinking will be very effective too. You'll have to think that if people look at you while being at audience is neither bad or neither good. It's all the same. Also, say to yourself whenever you feel stressed being among audience, that you are neither bad or good for feeling stress among the audience, actually it's all right that you are stressed, it's humane and you accept it for now.

There may be other issues too, maybe you feel unsafe? Or you feel uncomfortable because of low self esteem? Whatever it is, I wouldn't suggest psychotherapy and stuff to try to find the issues, while definetely effective and good, try exposure therapy and cognitive therapy are very fast cures.


Building your self esteem is a very good investment.


You can have psychotherapy later, maybe analyse yourself, after educating yourself for some time.


Forget about the ten years period. You can cure youself in a matter of a weeks with exposure therapy. Cognitive therapy as I said is very powerful too (for building a stable normal self esteem and for curing, yes exactly curing thought disorders; although they may take some time, an average of a couple of months is probably true, I am sorry, but it won't happen overtime).

Then, stress management, like breathing when under stress is good too and there is also a good method for controlling stress, by tensing and then relaxing your muscles (I forget its name).

Meditation is good too and I found that ambiental music is very efficient (the ambient music works with me, I can't say if it's good for everyone).


Journalling is also good. Try blogs. I go to irc and express my feelings, it feels great.

I wouldn't dare to suggest you these things if your case wasn't mild, so go ahead, you can make it.


And again! Work on your self esteem! Healthy self esteem is your best bet. It safeguards you against anxiety (and against depression if that interests you too).
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Re: reply

Postby DeepShadow » Mon May 14, 2007 8:44 pm

somebody wrote:Your therapist couldn't actually help you with this?


I've had four therapists in the past, none now. And yes, they were very helpful. They taught me all sorts of things that I've used in varying amounts. Without them, I'd proabably still be confined to my house in Washington, instead of married with two kids and three jobs and a Bachelor's Degree in Florida. I owe them a lot.

Exposure therary (start going to conferences as a member too).


I actually do attend things. Not all the things I want, for as long as I want, but I fight hard not to let the anxiety claim more than it already has.

Changing the way of thinking will be very effective too. You'll have to think that if people look at you while being at audience is neither bad or neither good. It's all the same. Also, say to yourself whenever you feel stressed being among audience, that you are neither bad or good for feeling stress among the audience, actually it's all right that you are stressed, it's humane and you accept it for now.


That's a good one! I'll add that to my toolbox.

There may be other issues too, maybe you feel unsafe? Or you feel uncomfortable because of low self esteem? Whatever it is, I wouldn't suggest psychotherapy and stuff to try to find the issues, while definetely effective and good, try exposure therapy and cognitive therapy are very fast cures.


I don't think I need a cure, thanks. SP is a part of me, and it's given me many strengths. Not to mention, I think you've got the wrong impression about my condition from the two examples I juxtaposed in my OP. I have phone anxiety, small talk anxiety, driving anxiety, and lots more. Anxiety is one of the defining characteristics of my life.

Building your self esteem is a very good investment.


Well who can argue with that? :wink:

You can have psychotherapy later, maybe analyse yourself, after educating yourself for some time.


Oh, I'm on top of that. My BS degree is in psychology, and I'm pursuing a Masters next.

Then, stress management, like breathing when under stress is good too and there is also a good method for controlling stress, by tensing and then relaxing your muscles (I forget its name).


Yes, I'm familiar with both of those.

Meditation is good too and I found that ambiental music is very efficient (the ambient music works with me, I can't say if it's good for everyone).


Most things are like that. I'll try it anyway. :wink:

Journalling is also good. Try blogs. I go to irc and express my feelings, it feels great.


Journalling and blogging are both on my to-do list. You just moved them a little higher.

I wouldn't dare to suggest you these things if your case wasn't mild, so go ahead, you can make it.


Okay, I really don't want to belittle you or anyone else on here, but I need to establish one thing: my case is not mild. It's different. In certain periods of my life my attacks were coming three or four times a day, full fledged things with all the symptoms from hyperventilation all the way to losing feeling in my arms and legs. I've gone blind twice.

I've reviewed my case with the psych professors--including two therapists. My case is not mild.

I can understand why you think so; I just got here and in my opening post I say that I lack one of the defining symptoms of SAD. That may seem mild to many of you. If that's my fault, please allow me to fix that now.

And again! Work on your self esteem! Healthy self esteem is your best bet. It safeguards you against anxiety (and against depression if that interests you too).


Again, can't really argue with that! What sort of things do you do to increase your self esteem?
We all have a set of instinctive fears: of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, of speaking before a rotary club, and of the words, "some assembly required."--Dave Barry
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