Can anyone give me some advice?

I'm very new to this, so I apologize if I'm violating any protocols or anything. I'd also like to apologize if this is lengthy. This is my first time doing anything remotely close to this. I never really open up to anyone, but I'm pretty desperate, so I figured I'd try to find help on the internet, where it's anonymous. Anyway, I recently graduated high school in June, and I was going to go to college, but before classes began, I decided to take a year off because I was so depressed. Anyway, I now need to start applying to colleges again for next year, but in order to do so, I need to contact my high school guidance counselor and teachers for transcripts and letters of recommendation and such, but after three months of procrastinating, I've been unable to convince myself to contact them, as I'm too anxious about doing it and too afraid of what they'll think of me. I was the valedictorian, and I always felt that everyone expected greatness from me, and I've found it very difficult to deal with that pressure. If anyone can provide me with advice to overcome this and contact them, I'd really appreciate it. I've been unable to reason with myself, and considering the logic of the situation is very ineffective. I'm sure many of you can relate to this, but it's very infuriating to have anxiety in situations where you're very aware of how irrational it is. Every time I think about it, I feel nauseous and end up procrastinating. Like I said, it's been three months, and I've already missed the early action deadlines for applications, which I believe are supposed to give a bit of an advantage. I'd really appreciate any help. Thanks a lot.

Dear Username300:

The fastest remedy for anxiety would be to see a psychiatrist and be prescribed a tranquilizer like Klonipin. For the short term only, so that you can ask for the papers you need and apply for college. Then seek psychotherapy with a competent therapist to heal and manage your anxiety.

The psych drugs, Klonipin and its family of tranquilizers are addictive and really should be used short term just to get you doing what needs to be done by a deadline.

atina

Welcome.

Think about what you really want to do, really want to pursue. I was a smart kid, and I felt that pressure, too. Not valedictorian smart, but I can relate. I had this need to please others to avoid criticism. So I did what was expected of me more often than what I wanted to do.

Time off is a double-edged sword. It is nice to have reprieve, but a cycle of procrastination can ensue, which sounds like is happening to you. Ask yourself if it is worth it to get letters of recommendation and such. If this is what you want to pursue, it still may not be easy. But think of the longer term. Isn't it worth some discomfort now rather than dealing with holes in your resume years down the road if your procrastination gets bad enough? Life is not always two paths where one is pleasure, one is hurtful - it is more about doing what is right paired with choosing the path of least pain, for sometimes all of the paths you may be presented with have some thorns along the way. Procrastinating is still making a choice. Like Rush said, "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice."