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I feel like a nuisance all the time. Help?

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I feel like a nuisance all the time. Help?

Postby Patriotjjs12 » Wed Nov 02, 2016 10:48 am

I can't make friends without constantly feeling like I annoy them. It's making me super paranoid and just all the more nervous. The reason I started trying to make friends online was because I felt more comfortable not having to engage in a conversation face-to-face. But now I feel anxious even online.. It kinda sucks ass, y'know? I either feel as if I'm being too much or too little. Sometimes I just don't know what's the right thing to say, and sometimes I blurt out too much. If that made any sense. I've felt the happiest since a long time these past few months after meeting some people online, but I've been slowly avoiding them more and more because I fear that I'm annoying them and I don't want to lose them BUT I also fear that I'm not talking to them enough and one day they'll just get bored of me and leave me and AGHHHH.

Not sure how I should approach this. This is a big fat mess. I know. I'm pretty good at making those.
Advice? Anyone can relate?

###$.
Last edited by Snaga on Wed Nov 02, 2016 3:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I feel like a nuisance all the time. Help?

Postby Saigal » Wed Nov 02, 2016 4:07 pm

Decide the frequency of communication that you consider too much (annoying) and the frequency you consider too small (boring). Keep your frequency of communication within these limits. For example if you think 1 message a day is boring and 10 messages annoying, message 2 to 9 times a day.
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Re: I feel like a nuisance all the time. Help?

Postby chino » Wed Nov 02, 2016 6:13 pm

Patriotjjs12 wrote:I can't make friends without constantly feeling like I annoy them. It's making me super paranoid and just all the more nervous. The reason I started trying to make friends online was because I felt more comfortable not having to engage in a conversation face-to-face. But now I feel anxious even online.. It kinda sucks ass, y'know? I either feel as if I'm being too much or too little. Sometimes I just don't know what's the right thing to say, and sometimes I blurt out too much. If that made any sense. I've felt the happiest since a long time these past few months after meeting some people online, but I've been slowly avoiding them more and more because I fear that I'm annoying them and I don't want to lose them BUT I also fear that I'm not talking to them enough and one day they'll just get bored of me and leave me and AGHHHH.
Now if they was to leave you out of boredom waiting for you... well, it is an online friendship, after all. To many it's just light entertainment. In all honesty, I'm far from the biggest fan of online friendships for a variety of reasons. But if you really wanted to make this work, the best I can advice is matching their frequency, albeit making your own frequency slightly less than theirs. Then you can never really come across as needy.

If you have to choose between being veering towards neediness and veering towards aloofness, go for aloofness.
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