what are you really afraid of?

mine's not specific or one thing.


I'm afraid they'll speak to me, that they'll be nice, that they won't be nice, that I'll hurt someone's feelings, that they'll hurt mine, that I'll ruin someone's day, that they'll ruin mine, that I'll trip and fall, that I'll cause someone else to... etc.

... that my life won't count in the lives of a few others.

... that I won't have developed and found enough value in my own life to share myself into the lives of others so that, when I'm gone, someone will be heard to say "She made a difference in my life. I am grateful I knew her."

(This is probably so misplaced in this forum, but I wanted to say this anyway.)

LifeSong

I fear someone will spin my words into something that would humiliate me infront of everyone.

Even wierder was when I was a kid, I thought a certain combination of words could make the world self-destruct, like there was an omniscient demon inside of the earth just waiting for the go-ahead which was a password of random words.

the first word that popped in my mind was...myself

more rejection

My fears:

1) Being rejected even more
2) Being ridiculed by more people
3) People misunderstanding what I say
4) People twisting my words
5) More of my friends backstabbing me.
6) Being judged.

Whether we conquer our fears or not, they are still fears.

being alone
having people laugh at me
and slightly off topic...
turning up to a school reunion in like 20years or so and nobody remembering who i was

These are things that I'm not so much afraid of but that I know happen, and I dislike:

1. Someone notices I am "weird". It may happen due to the look I have on my face, my demeanor, something I say. They always notice. They then probe me with questions to find out what my "deal" is because I never talk about myself much if I can help it.

2. Be overly nice to me because I'm obviously shy.

3. Dislike me because sometimes I overcompensate for my shyness by being loud and abrasive. Weird, I know.

And here's one that I guess is a purely speculative fear:

4. Find me or my mannerisms ugly or funny looking. I'm prone to making weird facial expressions and stuff.

It can be hard to get close to people. Casual relationships are no big deal to me now. But I'm afraid that people won't want to be around me if they find out more about who I am. It just seems that people are not that interested in me. I don't like the idea of being drawn ito a conversation about my past either.

Sometimes I feel like I have no life.....
but now I laugh at this topic HAHA

...because I have been through EVERYTHING that all of you are afraid of (except for dying, of course) and it hurt a LOT and I was embarrassed and I felt like crawling under a rock every single time!

Now I'm safe alone in my room for an unrelated illness, for an indefinite amount of my life. I'm still afraid of all of those things you people mentioned. Alright, I guess I don't have a life anymore, but at least I don't have to worry about all of those things, and I laugh at every one of your fears as if I were not like you, but in truth, I am worse off this way than I was before.