Socially incompetence

Hey all,

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am not sure that this is the correct place for this post but I have been trying to search the internet for someone in a similar circumstance as me but cannot seem to find anything.

In social situations I am very slow at processing what I need to say - I know what I want to say but I often cannot vocalise it and I find myself stuttering or getting flustered. I have social anxiety and I am not sure if this phenomena is the cause or in fact a result of this. It is very strange - I am quite intelligent; I have a mathematical mind studied maths at university. If I have time to think about what needs to be said, like when writing a letter or email, I come across as eloquent but not in a social setting.

Has anyone else experienced this and done anything that has helped them?

Thanks for your support.

Dear bleagos:

Yes I have a similar experience. I have been afraid to say somehting wrong rigth there and then and be laughed at, made fun of, humiliated, rejected and just plain be hurt. As a result of saying something that is not perfectly accommodating all the .. sensitivities and opinions of all present.

That is a lot of pressure that put big time, powerful breaks on my spontaniety.

atina

Hi there,

Been there, done that! I feel like you'r describing me too, because I'm the same way when it comes to writing and socializing verbally. What I've found out that causes slow speech is that the person analyzes his own dialogue to make sure it's perfect. To make the situation worst is when the person tries to analyze what other person has to say too. This analytical mindset causes slow speech caused by word finding.

Solutions: This has worked for me and may work for you too: When socializing verbally, I try to used the very first word that comes to my mind and avoid to change it to the perfect/better word (this prevent the unnecessary pauses that I call "mental brakes"). For example: "I took the boxes to the destination!" If in the middle of saying it, I'm tempted to use the word "delivered" instead of "took," because it only sounds better, I won't. At first this may feel unnatural to you, but works in the long run.

I hope this helps,

Good luck

Yeah, I'm like that, but mainly because people bore me to tears. Unless they're talking about things I like.

I find myself stuttering when i really don't want to talk. Or i sound like i am about to cry like my nose is stuffed and my pellet - top of my mouth?- is sticky with mucus. Then i find the rhythm and keep banging until it is over. could be either way.

-- Wed Oct 26, 2016 2:46 pm --

cookiedo wrote:I find myself stuttering when i really don't want to talk. Or i sound like i am about to cry like my nose is stuffed and my pellet - top of my mouth?- is sticky with mucus. Then i find the rhythm and keep banging until it is over. could be either way.

although i draw the line and give the middle finger where i lose my voice and i sound like the last breath of a dying sparrow.