Actually scared of people

Hello,

I'm making this thread because today I've had a kind of relapse of social phobia. Nothing unusual happened, I did my makeup, dressed nicely and went out to have a walk since the weather is so nice. But when I was walking down the streets, I was struck with anxiety because, the horror!, other people were walking around. I felt scared of them. I'm a really petite young woman with an innocent-looking face and I feel that others might consider me an easy target.

I don't have any difficulties talking to people, I can be outgoing if I want to, but I'm still genuinely scared of people. In the past I've experienced physical and emotional attacks from random people on the streets and now I treat each single human that passes me as a potential threat. The only time I can bear being with people I don't know in a public place is when it's very crowded because I don't have much experience of being attacked in a crowd.

Do you know any ways I could bring myself to relax when walking around the city? I thought about carrying a small knife or something similar in my bag as a security blanket, but that seems a bit crazy/paranoid to me.

Knives are illegal to carry in most countries, and if you don't know how to use it it'll just make things worse for you. You do not pull a knife to scare someone. It's a purely offensive weapon. If you pull a knife at someone you better be prepared to stab them. If someone pulled a weapon at me and clearly couldn't use it I'd use it as an invitation to ###$ them up way worse than I normally might've.

Martial arts classes. Like the real stuff, not the weekend self-defense courses. Pepper spray, way more user friendly than a knife. Or a gun, those you can actually scare people with.

Lusid wrote:Knives are illegal to carry in most countries, and if you don't know how to use it it'll just make things worse for you. You do not pull a knife to scare someone. It's a purely offensive weapon. If you pull a knife at someone you better be prepared to stab them. If someone pulled a weapon at me and clearly couldn't use it I'd use it as an invitation to ###$ them up way worse than I normally might've.

Martial arts classes. Like the real stuff, not the weekend self-defense courses. Pepper spray, way more user friendly than a knife. Or a gun, those you can actually scare people with.

I don't think I'd be much of a threat to an average size man even if I became good at martial arts, even then I can't just beat people up if they are making rude remarks towards me. Pepper spray is not very reliable, if the wind is going in the wrong direction, you'll just disable yourself. Guns are mostly illegal in my country (Europe). I don't mean to negate what you're saying to spite you, that's just what I think.

I dunno, I've been beaten up by a 155cm girl during sparring. I'm 175cm and at least twice her musclemass. All depends on how you apply it.

Modern self-defense and CID (criminal identifier) sprays use compressed gas to propel the liquid. As long as you're at point-blank range I'd say it's extremely unlikely that you'd hit yourself. And pepper sprays actually work as deterrents as well. Same as a gun: point and click, no training or skill needed. I'd be more worried if you pulled a spray at me than a knife.

Anyway, there isn't any perfect solution to this. Rude remarks or whatever can be ignored. But any option is better than carrying a knife, you're gonna get yourself killed.

Besides just being able to put up some kind of a fight can save your ass. Most would-be street attackers are inexperienced cowards, especially if they'd attack a random woman they perceive as defenseless.

My philosophy is that I'm not harder to kill than anyone else, I'm just incredibly annoying to kill. And I do that by putting up a fight, triggering myself into flashback psychosis, carrying numerous concealed improvised (legal) weapons and sprays, being semi-armored in a biker jacket with reinforced elbows + steel toe cap leather boots, wearing knuckle rings and slash-proof kevlar gloves etc.
And I never have any trouble when out, including late at night in properly crappy areas. Trick is to make sure they choose an easier target.