No friends?

Personally no or yes.

I have aspergers
and I do set up high standards for my self but I couldn't imagine to live without those standards.

I feel I have few friends because I can't approach the people I find interesting or because I have difficulty moving outside my isolated home.

Simultaniously also I could say that you are still right.

I am also alone because I reject people that approach me or that I have meet
but this is because I evaluate them.
I don't want what they offer or I feel they can't offer me what I want etc.

However I know I have difficulty to take initiative
and that I am even excatically oversensitive to
social situations.
I don't feel I have control and I can't communicate with people.

I can only accept or reject opportunities that are presented for me
or when people approach me etc.

This may be the case with me, and it may not be.

I don't really have "high standards" that I set for others. I will be friends with anyone who is nice or interesting. However, I'm only interested in being friends with someone that has things in common with me or shares similar values or beliefs. I don't think that's at all unreasonable - that's what everyone does! I don't want friends who are going to use me or have nothing in common with me.

The problem, as usual, is ME. In the area I live in, most people are high school graduates who work at factories, have a couple of kids before age 25, hang out at the bar on Friday nights with their buddies, watch a lot of sports, and don't spend a lot of time talking about world affairs.

This is perfectly fine - but I'm the complete opposite. I don't drink or smoke, and this puts me into an extreme minority already. When most social situations revolve around those two things, it doesn't give me many things to get involved with. I love deep conversation and learning about things. I don't want to make small talk, I find it pointless and exhausting. Every once in a while I just want to go out and catch up with the whole "Hey, how are you doing" thing, but it's really limiting for me. I'm a very emotional person who needs to share feelings with people in order to connect with them.

I guess what I really want and crave are REAL connections to people that I respect and/or love. A lot of people just aren't into this, and I understand that....I guess I have more "intense" needs in friends than most people. But in return, I give the same back.

I don't want to learn to be different, I just want to meet people who are like me.

It seems like a lot of people use alcohol to socialize. I never drank or smoked and had trouble socializing too. I don't like the idea of going to a bar after work to hang out.

I also have the problem now that I don't have too much in common with that many people. I really like opera and classical music. Lots of 60+ year olds at classical concerts. I have several 60+ friends, but they don't like zombie and vampire movies too. I am just to weird I guesss!

yeah i used to have high standards, in some ways i still do. but im bipolar and also have social anxiety. i guess its a unique combunation since i can become overly confident at times. but the lithium has really eliminated most of the anxiety.

just a tip for anybody who dosen't have a firm diagnosis. if your depressed and anxious (socially or otherwise). bipolar depression is known to be a more anxious type of depression as opposed to a unipolar type of depression.

also antidepressants suck for social anxeity but moodstabilizers such as lithium and tegretol work excellently for social anxeity.

also theirs 2 types of bipolar (I and II). II is more the depressed type that goes hypomanic at times which isnt full blown mania.

the other factor that makes it hard to diagnosis is that some people only go manic 1-4 times in their whole life time.

just something to consider, since i used to be severly socially anxious, but i aint anymore.

Wow, just a little while reading through this forum, I find I have a lot in common with people here.
I don't do any substances, even caffeine (side effects), so there goes a lot of fun. This is also because I learned from my family members' mistakes.

I have had extremely high standards since I was 3-5 years old, and I would never have made a single friend unless I adopted this friendship system, which luckily I did. I still haven't given up any of my standards, in fact they've gone up, and you must qualify before entering into a close relationship with me.

--> Friend until proven enemy (aquaintance)<--
Look for the 'odd ones out' (they're more desperate than you)
Dis-interest is insulting (within reason)
Learn how to say goodbye (quick getaway)
Explore interests of others (you may find them interesting)
If all else fails, say hello in passing

That worked great until puberty. Anyways, in other words, everyone in the world is my friend.
Try it, you might like it, and they will too. And no, I don't take advantage of people.

Throughout my life, i've made 'friends' but they really weren't my friends, I was used as a joke. I'm kinda ignorant of alot of things, inwhich i'm trying to overcome. i've had these 'friends' for about 9 years..it sucks to be tricked like this, ya know It made me think about the real world, and the kind of people in it, and how people just act. i'm verry guilible. so i'm kinda in a setback on social interactions..

so ya now I don't have any friends, sucks..I have trouble relating to people, i'm too obsessed with how i'm feeling, rather than trying to communicate and be a friend..

Hey, Raveno! Welcome to the forum. Talking here will be a good first step and you'll be able to make real friends. I'm sorry those people used you. They didn't deserve your friendship.

Hi , I have no friends. Non whatsoever. I want to have friends. It's because I feel lonely and depressed. We human being are social animals. We need interactions between people. We all need to connect with each other. But I don't . Because I don't have friends. I feel lonely. I want to break out this shell of misery. I want to open up, reach out and have friends. This is not normal. People need people. I need to know more people. My brain cells are dying. As long as I can start talking to people ,I will be allright. Again I don't know how to put it ,but I am lonely, I need someone to talk to. The end.

I badly want friends, someone to talk to, but I can't relate to anybody at all really, my interests and ideas are WAY outside normal society and my standards are really really high. I see most people as stupid and they annoy me and I can't stand being around them. I've never met someone I wanted to be around for any extended period of time. I "hang out" with a few people at work, but they are always the really quiet people who I know nothing about and just talk to at lunch or the janitor everyone thinks is retarded. But most people like to tell you everything about their life and I get annoyed and irritated with them really fast.
I've always found it strange that I am afraid of people and hate them at the same time. It seems like it should be one or the other.

I don't trust people. Period. They are all out for themselves, and I am not about to let them get a thing on me. I don't like most people, because of the way they treated me all my life. I found it safer not to need anyone. It may be lonely, but at least they cannot hurt me by betraying my trust.

Therefore, I hate being out in public, especially if I may have to talk to strangers. I don't want to deal with rejection, so I am aloof.

I do not feel I am superior than everyone else, I just feel they do not matter. Things that matter to you can hurt you.

IF someone is friendly to me, I'll be friendly back. But I won't think much of them after we part our ways.