I cannot figure out what to say fast enough

S.A.D. is very difficult to deal with. Many times I cannot figure out what to say fast enough and then the conversation moves to a different subject. I have a very hard time talking about subjects for a long period of time. And people think I am quiet and shy. I think its an issue of the chicken or the egg thing. I cannot figure out what to say fast enough, which causes me to be anxious, and then I end up trying to figure out how to act and become more introverted.

- is it because I have nothing to say or in common?
-is it because my brain is just slower?
- is it my personality?
- is it my physical appearence?
- is it my childhood?
- is it epilepsy and staring seizures?

One thing I do know is that this issue is very complicated and one i've been batteling my entire life...

Hello Rajin, this is Solitude. I got your Pm and thank you. I see that you can relate to me. Let me say a little about what I feel here. I think it should shed some light on what we may share.

I am an introvert. I am the only introvert in my family. Everyone else is outgoing and have social connections. But I communicate well with my family (at least most of them). I think that communicating well with my family does help my social skills. This is because of the love I share with my family. I bring this up because communicating with relatives is a great way to help in developing good social skills in dealing with other people.

I think that there are psychologist that work with specific communication difficulties. They might figure out what specifically is going on in your case. This would be something that is too complex for me to figure out. I hope that you consider seeing a psychologist for this aspect of your situation.

I think the problem may be cognitive. I do not think it has anything to do with your intelligence. You seem to comprehend well and understand subjects of conversation well. But, it may be that you can not formulate your thoughts well and get them out at a level you feel you should.

You have expressed your situation well here in writing. So then, whatever you feel is blocking you from conversing well verbally does not seem to effect your doing so in writing. Explore this difference in trying to find out what is going on in your particular situation. I think it will have nothing to do with your physical appearence - so disclude that one from the list.

There is a difference between introversion and anxiety. Introversion is a given - it is a personality trait. I happen to think introversion is a positive trait personally. Anxiety has to do with fear. To be specific; an irrational fear in the case of SAD. In you, it seems you identify the fear with your internal realization that you can not converse as you feel you should. And you are in a cycle of fear stemming from repeated conversation - fear - conversation - fear and on and on. Whatever started what first is not important now. Working on your anxiety is.

I will help. Let me say a little about my problem with conversation. I can not "read between the lines". If what people say is not explicit, it does not register in my head. So I communicate everything explicitly. My anxiety in communication is deep rooted. Not only that, I just plain fear people. I still have to resolve that issue in me. In conversation I have often run out of words to say many times. And at other times I lose my train of thought. This is normal for me. But I do not really get anxious about it.

One important thing I would like to say. Since I started participating in these psychological forums, my verbal skills have seem to improve. I have seemed to concentrate better. And my train of thought seems to have gotten very much better.

Get back with me. Send a PM anytime. I will respond. Maybe we can continue to converse by PM and both develop our communication skills that way. I would like to hear how you progress in your battle with anxiety. Also try writing something in these forums - there are a lot of people here in these forums. Give it a try - you might suprise yourself.

Sincerely,
Solitude