dealing with a person with sad

I have been deaing with a female that I have been "seeing" and trying to get to know better (not really pushing for a realtionship, but if the feelings develop, I wouldn't be closed minded to one either). This is a very similar situation to the thread how to confront an avoidant under avoidant personality and presents very similar characteristics. We have an awesome time when we go out, but it seems like getting to the point of going out casues anxiety for her by me calling her, etc. She hates the phone (she has told me this), and rarely returns my text or voice mail. When she does, she has had a few drinks in her, and is out w friends and it is usually like 5-6 days later. Same deal with email, and sometimes, even the same thing with im's when she is on. She has showed interest in me, but then will just disappear with no sign whatsoever. I have even asked her before if she got my message, and she is like yeah....I am thinking like ok, so why didnt you call back? She has made the statement before that she hates public speaking, hates crowded places, and sometimes almost feels like it may be social anxiety. She sleeps an extreme amount.... I recently sent her a long email just to see if she really didnt enjoy my company, and if that was the case, just to say so and it wouldnt be a big deal, and she replied that she was just needing some space for a little, and not to take it wrong.....very short and criptic email as usual. Always very short ones. I truly do enjoy being around this girl, and would like to help her be more comfortable around me, but I dont know what to do...It may be that she has avoidant or sad and if that is the case, I realize that a person can not help that they have something??? If they wont return your phone calls or text only rarely what do you do?? I really dont think she is just trying to blow me off, as she wont say so, and just seems like she get anxious sometimes. I want to be supportive of her, as I really do enjoy being around her, but I am lost as how to proceed now? Any suggestions?

hi, sorry to hear about your problem. It sounds to me like she has social anxiety disorder. i don't know much about SAD, but i do know that it is caused by the season changing. It's common to become withdrawn and depressed in the winter months. however you may have notices spring is on its way. the symptoms you have described really do point the way to social anxiety disorder, or social phobia. is she getting any help? it seems she is struggling alot with relationships and people and it can get worse if left alone. if she is finding it difficult in replying to you in text, email etc, then having replied to you after your long email means she is still interested. she is probably just afraid of what you think of her, that is what all social phobic people are afraid of. i suggest to suggest to her to try and get some help, if you really like her you will be persistent but gentle. the last thing a person with social anxiety needs is pressure. If you decide you can't cope with trying to convince her to get some help, then theres nothing else you can do but back away. i hope things work out for you x

i think i misread 'sad' i linked it with another disorder which involves seasons! if indeed you meant social anxiety disorder in the abbreviation 'sad' then thats what she has. sorry about that!