by Onebravegirl » Tue Nov 09, 2010 3:27 pm
Aw Cinder, I used to see things move. I would Duck all the time when I was walking cuz I thought a bird was swooping over my head!
Everyone would look at me like I was insane! I also got very twittchy. My muscles would jump, and small unexpected sounds would make me yelp.
Eventually, a strange thing happed. Everything got to be funny. REALLY Funny. I would laugh so hard I could hardly breathe. Tears would poor out of my eyes like rivers. It felt fantastic! Tension I had been carrying for years seemed to poor out in those tears.
I don't know if it was a sort of purge or what, but I'll never forget it. It helped so much, just to laugh. After that sleep came. Deep sleep.
Somehow, don't ask me how, if once I found humor in my clumsiness and in my general pathetic predicament, I would laugh. That laughter led to sleep. Just about anything would make me laugh. Eg: I was averaging sleep about every four days, so I felt drunk and in a fog. As I sat watching TV, I smelt cat crap. My first thought was I hope its not on me. I grabbed my kitten and smelled it ass. I actually stuck my nose right up to its little hole! All in this sweeping motion like it was the most logical thing in the world to do. My husband looked over and saw what I was doing. The look on his face was priceless. I said " Oh its' ok, the cats but smells". Then I started to laugh and it lasted about an hour. I still think it hilarious. I guess you had to be there.
NOW that sounds crazy right? But I'm not. and your not either baby. Your just a guy who is having a really hard time. This too shall pass dear heart. Eventually you will sleep again. Laughter can be an outlet, I hope you find it too.
With Hope,
One
Two men looked through bars. One saw Mud, the other saw Stars.