Any Help at All!

Hi! I'm a 25 year old female who has suffered abuse and trauma and has only ever received the most minimal of mental health care. Most of my issues should probably be handled by a professional, but I have never had the money or insurance to get it handled. I have depression and anxiety.

I started having night terrors no more than four years ago, about a year after starting to date my current boyfriend. They were infrequent. Usually I would wake up screaming, an intense sense of dread in my chest. It was scary and almost impossible for me to go back to sleep. This happened maybe twice in a year at max, but in the past two years they've gotten much worse.

I started to thrash and hit and kick. I would become convinced that someone was in the room with me and my boyfriend. Sometimes I would blame my boyfriend because he couldn't see my nightmare person. They horrified me and kept me awake, but my boyfriend always got back to sleep. He would try and comfort me.

In the past year, I've been having trouble remembering when it happens. It's becoming so frequent that I'm starting to notice when I don't have one more than when I do. Half the time when I don't, my boyfriend will tell me a story about me shaking or poking him in the middle of the night that I don't remember.

My boyfriend is fed up. This is the second time I've been kicked out of bed (my choice, he shouldn't have to sleep on the couch because of me) and the fifth night terror I've had in a row. I do not have the money to see a professional. I'll take any advice you guys give me. I'm tired of being scared, and I'm tired of feeling lost, and unloveable, and I'm really just very tired in general.

Hi gypsydiver. I'm 31 and have had night terrors since I was little. They often become more frequent when my life is stressed.

It sounds like you know that therapy to deal with your trauma will be the root to unlocking your night terrors, perhaps. I haven't suffered memorable trauma/abuse, but have a suspicion that it is lingering in the unlocked corners of my psyche. I do access public health councelling when it is available, and encourage you to continue to find someone you can talk to about your past. Sometimes womens shelters will offer councelling services (even to women not seeking shelter there), and there are also 'stopping the violence' type of services available where workers are trained to deal with women who have been abused. They may be able to offer you support, and referrals to more long-term services that should be free. I don't know what country you live in, but I know Canada has these services offered free.

My terrors are similar to yours, in that frequently there is a person standing in the room or a face fading into the ceiling, etc as I scream myself (and my partner) awake. I find I need to sleep in a very dark room, otherwise my mind makes figures out of the shadows. If this is happening to you, perhaps try sleeping with a sleep make, so there is no light filtering in to your eyes while you sleep for your mind to try and make into figures and familiar shapes.

I have had success with using scents to bring me comfort while I sleep. I make it a ritual to spray away the 'bad dreams' before bed, and have a teddy I sleep with (yes, even at 31) which also helps comfort me in my sleep. I have a carebear from when I was little and my mom would put her perfume on its nose - this too helps to keep the dreams away. I guess my mom for me is a protective figure, so find out what works for you.

And lastly, see if you can befriend someone who does reiki or theta treatments. These people can help to unblock negative energies you may be holding on to. I was unfamiliar with theta before being referred to a practitioner, but the person I saw does energetic and ancestral dna healing. I know, it sounds out there, but the thing inside me that this woman was able to easily touch and help heal... it changed me. It helped me to make sense about why I feel much of the way I do. When I talked about the bad dreams, and the figures in my room at night she said they really are real - that they are negative spirits that have attached themselves to me, then she helped to cut their spirits free from mine. Interesting ideas...

Did you know that they used to call night terrors incubus attacks? (don't read too many personal accounts of this, if you're going to look it up I suggest looking up history and religious accounts). Incubus are evil spirits that rape women in their sleep. If you buy into this idea, perhaps ritual through catholic, religious or other spiritual means may be able to help you detatch from the bad dreams. If you know first nations people in your area, perhaps try asking one of their elders for assistance.

Hope this is helpful.