What's your story?

Hi, everyone!

In this thread, you can take some time to introduce yourself and meet the community. Please make separate topics for receiving advice, but you can talk about your situation or life here, if you like.

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What made you decide to post here?

I'm a newbie. here's my story; I got caught yesterday at Target, the security guy let me leave everything at the service counter and let me go. I'm embarrassed, relieved, and grateful they didn't call the police. But still, I went through the thoughts of the things I wanted, like grief that I couldn't have the items. nice things for the house. LOTS of stuff! new curtains for three rooms of my house, two rugs a kitchen mat with pretty lemons, and a purple shag for DD's room. And fancy cleaning products-I HATE house work, and I was going to have to alter the curtains for one bathroom. Belive me I already have too many unfinished projects.
But I don't really 'get it' you know?
I know it was wrong, but I wanted these things I can't afford, so i must be nuts, and dealing with entitlement issues, i don't know

I am orginally from Georgia. I now live in South Carolina. I grew up with a dead beat dad, workaholic mom who cared about me, and helped take care of my ill grandmother till she passed.

I had started the impulsiveness when I was a kid. I remember taking a pack of gum that I had hidden in a newspaper. I have always been able to control it pretty good up until the late 1990s, circa 1999. My friend and I would take stuff. I got more and more, kept a score. I got busted in 2002. I don't know why I do it, I just do. Sometimes my heart pounds and I worry so much that I will get caught.

I am a good person. I help people at my church. I am educated. I do not have any friends. I listen to heavy/extreme metal most of the time, I do enjoy other genres. I have tattoos. I am broke, I have not gotten one in years.

I love to read. I am working on a novel. It is in its early states. I don't know when I will finish it. I enjoy writing poetry, but my depression and lack of motivation has caused me to quit writing. I am taking it back up now. I am doing it for me.

I do enjoy watching Leverage, Criminal Minds, CSI shows, and Fringe. I do not have cable, I watch stuff on the internet if it does not come on a regular channel.

@GothicBBW,

I enjoy writing poetry, but my depression and lack of motivation has caused me to quit writing

I can certainly relate to this, I have started and been inspired to do many things, and it seems I never follow through to the finish. Writing is wonderful, I'm glad you're takiing it up again, "for yourself" My DH loves metal too, I just put a ringback for him so when he calls me Lamb of God plays

That is way cool. I have a Dimmu Borgir ringtone.

@GothicBBW,
do you feel like doing church work, cancels out the stealing? cause in my mind I wanted to do something good to make up for my behavior, I thought of returning some bowls I got at WMart, and donating the towels I recently aquired, I don't want to look at them anymore because they remind me of what I did.
p.s. I do not in anyway mean to belittle the work YOU do for you church, just wondering, I thibnk helping others is admirable, any act of kindness makes the world a better place-J

@jkc231
I do church work because I feel that there are people that I can help. It does help me grasp what I have done with my issues.

I used to steal from stores all the time, and still ocasionally do. I never felt bad about it once. For some reason I got a rush from it. The way I see it, it's only okay to steal from big corperations like Wal-mart and Target, etc, because they have millions of dollars anyway, and I feel the little guy has got to stick it to the big cats sometimes. But, I DO NOT think it's okay to steal from average people who have used their own money to buy something, that's just evil.

Hi, My name is Deborah from Georgia. I will give you a quick synopsis of myself. I am 52 have shoplifted for over 30 years. I have been arrested 4 times, the last time in Dec. 09. I have been in recovery from s/l since Jan. 2010. I have found some very useful resources to help me in recovery. My last arrest at 50 I found myself looking at possible jail time. I struggle with urges all the time. I had a therapist, but no longer am doing that. I only utilize a on-line website for shoplifters in recovery and I use a teleconference meeting twice a week for shoplifters. I went on a retreat in may for shoplifters and that helped me tremendously. It is a very ugly addiction. I was caught at 19 stealing baby items. I didn't s/l too much for a while, but then 13 years ago I was out of control and was arrest twice in 3 months. My family had no idea, I was living a double life. The secret was very powerful. I was diagnosed them with OCD, but nobody ever said it was an addiction. The treatment and medicine for OCD didn't work and I slowly went back to s/l. When I wasn't s/l I was using credit cards and overspending. I was diagnosed with cancer in 2005 and felt as though some Higher Power were punishing me for my dishonesty. I have been in remission since 2007 but again the s/l snuck back into my life so much so I was doing it everyday. I felt as though I was the only person in the world with this problem and that Ii could not stop. It is weird but many times I felt invisible in the stores as though I could do anything and not be seen. Also when I was caught in 2009 I felt relief that the double life was over. That $25 item cost me over $9000 in legal cost and fees. Nothing I could ever steal is worth my freedom, my family and my sanity. I do have to be vigilant in my recovery however, I just stumbled across this forum and wanted to check it out. Thanks to you all

Wow, I just stumbled across this. I've read you guys story and now that I think abou it. I have been stealing since a kid. I had a non average life growing up. Thank God for my Aunt and Grandmother...but still I was less fortunate than my peers. I first start stealing from my grand mother, until one day when I went to steal some money out of her stash and she had a note rubberband around it. It said some awful like, "I am not going to hide my money. I have $400.00 and if even a dollar is missing I will know, and I am going to beat your a**" Since that note, I never crossed her again. But as I got older, mainly in highschool, we would skip school and go to the mall and steal clothes, clothes and more clothes. My friend got caught one time. That didn't stop me, until one day I noticed the cops following me. I pretended like I didn't know. But I rannnnnnnnnnnn so fast and was hiding and ducking in between cars until my friend saw me running for my life. I jumped in the car and was hiding on the floor in the front seat until I made it home! Whew...fast forward, recently I have been losing a lot of money due to my gambling addiction and have started back stealing. I've even resorted to stealing steaks, and salmon from the grocery store - other items too. Its gotten to the point where I will steal something even if I have the money to pay for it....mostly make up or lip gloss. I can't understand what the hell is wrong with me at times. Since I have been going back to church and really trying to disect my life, I have been feeling convicted...so I haven't been shoplifting. I'm praying that this too shall pass. I am so blessed not to have done any time or ever really gotten caught in my adult life! Wow, I'm blessed and hadn't even realized it.