I Need Closure...

I began stealing when I was a very young child. I was probably 4 or 5. My mother had and still has a stealing problem. She taught me how to steal things for her so that she would not go to jail. I mainly stole clothes up until I was a teenager, and then I would steal makeup for myself, etc.

Over the years I have stolen countless items. I can't even begin to take a guess at it. I did not see it as wrong. I am not saying it's my mother's fault that I continued to steal into adulthood, but she conditioned and trained me to steal and I just didn't see it the way others did. I had the mentality that corporations didn't notice and they steal from US, etc.

My addiction to stealing got very bad about three years ago. After I had my first son, when he was about a year old, I started stealing very frequently. I would steal five or six times per week. Makeup, clothes, FOOD (yes, food...frozen dinners, whatever I could stuff in the diaper bag...at one point we were eating nothing but stolen food!)

Well, one day two years ago I was stealing some makeup and was too careless. I believe now that it was an act of God...thankfully my child was not with me, which most of the time he was. Yes, I used the guise of being a mother as a distraction. He was not with me and I was dressed like a bum with a hoodie on and no makeup and pajama pants. DUMB, RIGHT??? I was always so careful every time, but that day I was very careless. I sensed something was wrong and that someone was following me. I was right. I was stopped and the police were called. I was issued a shoplifting citation...not arrested, thank God, and instead of paying the fine I chose to do 44 hours of community service (mind you, at the time I was caught I was 3 months pregnant and was 6 and 7 months when I did the service), take a shoplifting prevention class, write an essay, and also pay a portion of the fine. It is supposed to be "off" of my record, but I know that it is still really there...

Getting caught was the cure for me. I have not since stolen ANYTHING and I have no desire to at all. I can't even believe that I used to steal and how horrible I feel for having my child with me when I did it. What was I thinking? I suppose I was thinking just like my mother was when she was with me. I feel so lucky that I got caught that day. Had I not gotten caught, I would have just increased and increased and increased the amount and price tag of what I stole...and when caught eventually, I could have ended up a felon in prison. The longer you steal, the more comfortable you become...or at least that is how it was for me.

I am only 22-years-old now and I plan on entering nursing school in 2011. I have spoke with the Board of Nursing in my state to see if my citation will affect my ability to attain my license. I was given the go-ahead, but I am still VERY scared. What happened haunts me nearly every day...I just can't seem to get over it. I read on the news a few months ago that Target and other stores often save tags, etc and have them fingerprinted in their own labs. This thought terrifies me and I'm afraid that I could go through nursing school, a totally changed individual, and end up not only getting a license but going to jail for a long time. I know that is unlikely, but when you read something like that you can't help but let it scare you.

But I just wanted to post this for my own admission and closure...most of my family and friends do not know about my former addiction. And, I want everyone to know that you CAN stop. It may take you getting caught as well, but you CAN stop and you do not have to be a slave to stealing. I am so grateful for being caught...it changed so much in my personal life and I am finally free of it!

Hi, ThereIsHope! It's brave of you to admit to what you used to do. I hope others will read this post and be inspired by your words. Maybe what you did happened too long ago and you couldn't go to jail because of it. I doubt they'd try to find out who stole stuff years ago any way, so don't be so worried.
Your son is probably just fine and you didn't harm him If any one ever brings it up, you could tell them the truth and that you learned your lesson and you're a better person now.
Good luck with getting your nurse's license!

Thank you, Jasmin! Thankfully, my son was too young to know what was going on. He was only 2 and younger. So I am glad for that.

I am truly cured of my addiction. Just a few weeks ago I tried some shoes on my child and left them on throughout the store and forgot about it. I walked out the doors and got halfway to my car and noticed the shoes on his feet. I took them back in! If I truly was not over it, I would have left them on his feet.

Unfortunately, in the state that I am in there is no statute of limitations for stealing. So at any time, even years and years from now, they could prosecute. Also, I believe when a store like Target, for example, fingerprints items it is because they suspect the same person is doing it over and over...which, would totally be possible because I had a particular spot that I would leave my tags, etc and I believe once they have so much evidence they turn it over to the police. I don't know the exact procedure, but I just hope whenever I am fingerprinted and it is ran through that nothing shows up. But, even so it would be very hard to prove that even if they had 1,000 items with my fingerprints. So much time has passed and they surely do not keep tapes. By the time the evidence I left behind was found it was probably at least a few days or weeks. They would have no way of knowing when whoever did it did it and wouldn't have gone through hours upon hours of tape for a few items. But, I am just very scared about that anyway. There is nothing I can do, though, and I honestly have never heard a story of anything like it happening.

I'm sure they'll never try to get you for stealing all those years ago. Maybe they're just trying to scare people out of stealing their stuff, lol.
You certainly are a strong person for getting over your addiction!