Did it after 3 years being clean

I shoplifted for the first time in about 3 years today, I started doing it when I was 17 and it gave me a real rush to take things from department stores but I stopped when I was 18 and I knew the consequences would be much more severe if I were ever caught. I don't think I was ever addicted to it because I pretty much stopped as soon as I turned 18 without a struggle. From then until now I've never ever been tempted to shoplift but today when I was at a clothing store I saw some semi-cute earnings that I liked that were on sale and I decided to take them.

I don't know what came over me I haven't done this in so long but I fell right back into it like I've been doing it this whole time. What's more usually I am pretty quite and I have trouble speaking to strangers but I even went up to a sales associate to ask her a question which I normally would never do. Up until this point I had been avoiding this sales associate because I had seen her go into the staff area and I knew I'd have to go into the dressing room while she was gone to make it easier to take the earrings. I don't know why but talking to her while having a sneaky plan made me feel so good, like powerful almost. Because I knew it's her job to keep things like shoplifting from happening but she probably didn't even know what I was planning on doing.
Anyway I took 4 pairs of earrings and while I was walking to the car/driving home I felt great and cool but as soon as I got home I felt so stupid for doing it. What if I had gotten caught and arrested or something What if my employers found out and started to suspect me of shortening the registers ( I don't know if that's something that realistically would happen but it's all I can think of now, I feel so dumb for falling back into an old habit.

I'm pretty sure I was tempted to do it because for the past week I've been feeling really, really terrible. Like I haven't felt this depressed since when I was 17 and I first started shop lifting. I hope I don't do it again

Wow this ended up being a lot longer than I expected, sorry for just brain dumping on here. But I think getting all of this off my chest has helped a little. Anyone over 18 have any advice to keep yourself from shoplifting?

-- Thu Mar 20, 2014 8:33 pm --

TW: SELF HARM

Oh, I forgot to mention: A few days ago I was so so so tempted to cut which I haven't done in a few months and I pretty much struggled with it all night and I was so tempted but I somehow resisted the urge. I wonder if I had cut if I wouldn't have taken the earrings, like if that would have been enough to sate whatever crazy urges and bad feelings I've been having. SIGH.

Hey there.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I used to shoplift for a number of years. It was a cycle I was in possibly triggered by being so lonely and not having money. I haven't done it now for around 3/4 years. I was so nearly caught a few times.
Have you ever heard of a book called 'You Are Not Your Brain', or another book called 'The Power Of Habit'? They have helped me with some things and they may help you.
Even though you have done this again after 3 years you can stop.
xxx
LP

It's like being a recovering alcoholic. You are never really a former alcoholic, since it can always creep back up at any time. If you view it as a current problem instead of a past problem, maybe you can keep up your guard a little easier. Best of luck.