should people seek help for sex addiction ?

If a sex addict is able to control themselves to the point that they do not hurt anyones feelings, should they really stop if they are enjoing themseves ?

Im newly single female sex addict, and Ive got a friend and Im looking for one or 2 more friends and we will all be safe and fun and enjoy ourselves very much. Im not going to extend it beyond that.

I am indeed a sex addict as sex is my life 24/7. Im also interested in many paraphilias.

but im ok with it. My life is actually kind of nice right now

I control my self quite well


WHY should we stop ? We like it.

That's modern society's new way of saying what is taboo, trying to suppress our natural sexuality. They trying to keep the modern civilized world from getting out of hand with our natural lust. Sex is a naturally thing, without how would we get babies.

Do what you want, because people are generally morons...

People have their ideas on what is healthy and right, but a lot of times they don't actually care about you per se. They care about being listened to and validated. In my opinion.

If it isn't bothering you and it isn't bothering anyone else, then people need to mind their own business.

So I think we need to add a 'why' in front of your question: "Why should people seek help for sex addiction?" Mind you, take care with the context. This is an actual question, and not a rhetorical statement that says people shouldn't do something or saying that there are no reasons why. It's simply asking "why". If you can answer the "why", then you have a reason. e.g. "Why? Because it's a problem for me."

If there's no answer for that why, there's another why: "Why bother changing it without a reason?"

And things just go on like that.

willy wrote:Do what you want, because people are generally morons...

People have their ideas on what is healthy and right, but a lot of times they don't actually care about you per se. They care about being listened to and validated. In my opinion.

If it isn't bothering you and it isn't bothering anyone else, then people need to mind their own business.

So I think we need to add a 'why' in front of your question: "Why should people seek help for sex addiction?" Mind you, take care with the context. This is an actual question, and not a rhetorical statement that says people shouldn't do something or saying that there are no reasons why. It's simply asking "why". If you can answer the "why", then you have a reason. e.g. "Why? Because it's a problem for me."

If there's no answer for that why, there's another why: "Why bother changing it without a reason?"

And things just go on like that.

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I think there are a number of people who get caught up in sexual addiction because they have a huge ("VOID") in their life they "sometimes" know not what. But such a VOID can take on the guise of so many appearances. Like the Mask of Depression in some.

Porn has been around since the 1600's. But it wasn't until the 1970's that mass media and later with the dawn of the computer age and Internet where the multi-billion dollar Porn industry formerly hidden for centuries in secret closets burst forth into its lewd explicitness.

I certainly see porn addiction as a serious mental disease, and its not just me who thinks this way.
Does porn addition like drug addiction rot the brain? Yes it does.

I believe the greater populace of the world is caught up in a ("Sexual Crisis")

Was Rape, Incest, and Pedophilia as widespread 50-60 years ago as it is now in the twenty-first century? Today we live in this so called evolved world where Sexual Expression is Exploited against practically every Woman, Man and Child for the lucrative gluttony of the almighty dollar. Is there something seriously wrong with a society that has turned Sexual Expression into a God?

If someone claims to be morally blind by saying there's nothing wrong with my sexual hangups or my addiction to pornography then their really only lying to themselves.

should people seek help for sex addiction ?

If it consumes your life one should find help.

Peace
Chris

Addict and in control sounds contradicting. Anyway if you gonna call yourself a "sex addict" you need to up your game girl.

benedictus57 wrote:If someone claims to be morally blind by saying there's nothing wrong with my sexual hangups or my addiction to pornography then their really only lying to themselves.

If it is a problem, it's a problem. If it isn't a problem, it isn't. I don't think morality for the sake of morality should enter into it, EVER. It should never be about "well this is wrong because people have said it is for hundreds of years.... even though we really don't know why."

The only person who can know what's wrong with it is you. If it effects your health, for example, then yes it's a problem. If it doesn't negatively effect you, then there's no reason to be against it save for being puritan for puritan's sake just because somebody told you that's how it's supposed to be. It's practically like a doctor telling you that you are sick when you aren't.

And things don't effect everyone the same way. Also we have to watch out when giving labels to things, is it your label, or someone else's? What one person calls addiction, another person may not see as a problem. Who's view do we go by in discussion?

I am a sex addict. Just like an alcoholic or drug addict, the addiction is always there whether you give into it or not.

That said, my take is if you are completely honest with the people you are having sex with – in that you are not monogamous and are using protection – then there shouldn’t be a problem. If you are having sex with adult partners and everyone is consenting to whatever is being done, then have fun.

BUT if you are in a monogamous relationship, that’s a whole other story. I have been in a monogamous relationship for going on two years. My sex addiction rears it’s head sometimes and I struggle to keep to myself in check. Just like an alcoholic who shouldn’t walk into a bar. I shouldn’t put myself in certain situations. My therapist knows of my addiction and I can always lean on her if things get tough. My SO also knows I’m an addict.

I guess what I’m saying is it’s all in how you’re living your life. Just be careful!

2L84ME wrote:I am a sex addict. Just like an alcoholic or drug addict, the addiction is always there whether you give into it or not.

That said, my take is if you are completely honest with the people you are having sex with – in that you are not monogamous and are using protection – then there shouldn’t be a problem. If you are having sex with adult partners and everyone is consenting to whatever is being done, then have fun.

BUT if you are in a monogamous relationship, that’s a whole other story. I have been in a monogamous relationship for going on two years. My sex addiction rears it’s head sometimes and I struggle to keep to myself in check. Just like an alcoholic who shouldn’t walk into a bar. I shouldn’t put myself in certain situations. My therapist knows of my addiction and I can always lean on her if things get tough. My SO also knows I’m an addict.

I guess what I’m saying is it’s all in how you’re living your life. Just be careful!

Yeah this is exactly what I'm talking about. It's situational, and doesn't mean the same thing for everyone. It isn't that the "addiction" itself is a bad thing, this is about when it is acting counter to your lifestyle or situation.

You gave a case in point with the consenting adults vs. monogamous relationship. If you are monogamous yet inclined to sleep with other people, that becomes a problem because of your desire clashing with your situation. So you end up being torn over one or the other, when neither one in itself is really bad, they just contradict each other.

gwilly wrote:[quote="If it is a problem, it's a problem. If it isn't a problem, it isn't. I don't think morality for the sake of morality should enter into it, EVER. It should never be about "well this is wrong because people have said it is for hundreds of years.... even though we really don't know why."

The only person who can know what's wrong with it is you. If it effects your health, for example, then yes it's a problem. If it doesn't negatively effect you, then there's no reason to be against it save for being puritan for puritan's sake just because somebody told you that's how it's supposed to be. It's practically like a doctor telling you that you are sick when you aren't.

And things don't effect everyone the same way. Also we have to watch out when giving labels to things, is it your label, or someone else's? What one person calls addiction, another person may not see as a problem. Who's view do we go by in discussion?

gwilly wrote:

I don't think morality for the sake of morality should enter into it, EVER. It should never be about "well this is wrong because people have said it is for hundreds of years.... even though we really don't know why."

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If the Morality for Morality sake should not EVER enter into the PORNOGRAPHY Question of what it right and wrong, then who's responsibility is it to see that "every existing form" of sexual pornography is what ("some") people believe as a behavioral norm is governed with moral justice?

Some people define their own standard decrees and laws of morality far distanced from mainstream morality that most often has a strong basis in religious morality.

Too often Pornography spoon-feeds the lower primitive nature of mankind.

The truth is simple but sometimes hard to express. Sex can be beautiful. Sexual attraction may lead a person to seek out a mate, and help to bond a lasting relationship in which children can be born and raised. That is what it was designed to do. But uncontrolled sexual impulses destroy lives and damage society. Essentially every honest adult will have to admit that they have had sexual thoughts that they KNOW should never be acted out.

If I look at sexually stimulating pictures or words, they can produce a powerful emotional reaction that draws my interest and makes it hard to stop looking. My focus is on the image as an object, even though it may be a picture of a person who in real life has feelings, hopes and dreams. Further, it makes me think -- very selfishly -- only of how this makes ME feel.

How I react to this sort of situation depends on my worldview. If I believe that every thought is basically good or that the most important thing in life is my own pleasure, I will pursue my desires wherever they go. If I recognize the evil bent of my human nature, I will be on my guard and avoid being led down any dangerous path, which is what pornography does.

If I am honest, I know what sort of material affects me in this way. If I am not insightful or have other reasons for being blind to the issue -- such as being addicted to pornography or because in some way I profit from it -- then I may demand a definition. Pornography can be defined, although the criteria tend to be vague, and borderline cases exist where individuals may truly differ in their interpretation. But the real problems lie in the material that is nowhere near the border and is far over "the fine line."

For those who produce or distribute pornography and refuse to regulate themselves, there needs to be external controls. This is possible because pornography can be defined and legal action can be taken although it must be done for each piece of material as a separate case. This means that many people need to be involved as watchdogs and whistleblowers. Yet it is vitally important to do this because pornography destroys lives.

How is pornography destructive? Sexual images are extremely persistent. Men who started with pornography as young boys often can remember in great detail the images that got them started and continue to be affected by them. But the major danger is that the intensity of the material tends to escalate because after a while the mild stuff is no longer as stimulating. The images become associated with masturbation and it is the nature of orgiastic activity that it produces a desire for repetition.

When sex is kept within the context of marriage, this habit-forming tendency helps cement the commitment and motivate a couple to work out the inevitable problems that go with human relationships. But sexual stimulation with pornography, because it is devoid of human interaction, is intensely selfish and becomes quickly jaded. Thus the fantasies need to become more explicit, more bizarre and more blended with violence to achieve the same level of excitement. Finally, images alone are not enough and the desire to act out the fantasies becomes powerful. Since the focus has been consistently on selfish pleasure and the pictures seen as objects, the transition is sometimes frighteningly easy.

So pornography makes monsters of susceptible people, mostly men who started as boys. Rapists, child molesters and serial killers uniformly are addicted to pornography. To say that some who use pornography do not reach this extreme is beside the point. For some, it "only" makes sexual fulfillment in marriage difficult if not impossible. This is because the patterns are so hard to change and the pornography user finds the mate inferior to his fantasies. There is a parallel here with alcohol. Some people do not have a problem with it, but their use may inadvertently lead others to use, abuse and ultimately be destroyed. With pornography, the danger is so dramatic, why play around with it?

But we also need to think about the subjects of pornography. They are not simply those people who have made a career choice to enter the sex industry. The sad truth is that it is usually vulnerable young adolescents who have been tricked, seduced, coerced or bullied into a lifestyle of degradation that often ends in death, from suicide, drug overdose or murder. Pimps, often themselves shaped for their heartless role by pornography, prowl the malls of this nation, looking for suitable youngsters.

Young girls, or boys for the homosexual community, are approached and dealt with according to their vulnerabilities. Those who are rebellious are lured into what sounds like excitement. Those who crave attention or approval are told they would be great models. They might be photographed decently but have their faces attached to computer-altered pornographic websites. Some believe that the pimp is their boyfriend and have their minds slowly twisted to the point that they become exotic dancers, pornography subjects or prostitutes.

Pornography is not a victimless crime. The users and the subjects are both devastated and the societal cost is immense. It is only the subject of debate because of human nature. Sexual behavior is very highly rationalized -- people are capable of justifying anything they really want to do. The profit motive is powerful for those who make this a business and, in the case of pornography, organized crime controls the major portion of it. Smokescreens, such as preservation of free speech, are off the point for that principle does not mean we can say anything we wish. Yelling "fire" in a crowded theater or maliciously slandering another person are not protected. And we are not just talking about Venus de Milo. Even though there are individual differences in response to nude representations, pornography is light years removed from real art.

Just as it is not sensible to try crack cocaine "just to see what it is like," the wisest answer to pornography is to "just say never." But to those who justify the porn industry, I along with so many who have a conscious sense of morality to state; "We will not remain silent and will not tolerate the destruction of lives of women, children, and men in the name of freedom."

Peace
Chris

benedictus57 wrote:If the Morality for Morality sake should not EVER enter into the PORNOGRAPHY Question of what it right and wrong, then who's responsibility is it to see that "every existing form" of sexual pornography is what ("some") people believe as a behavioral norm is governed with moral justice?

What is morality about, to you? Pay attention to my context. I'm talking about the consequences of things, which are a separate (but often related) entity from social acceptability. If we suddenly decide that wearing blue shirts is immoral, that kind of thing is what I mean by morality for the sake of it. There's nothing wrong with a blue shirt.

So I'm not saying that there is no such thing as morality, per se. I am saying that some of it is contrived without regard to consequences, good or bad. What is the point of morality, if not to prevent negative consequence? So yeah. I don't see laws that are simply kept out of tradition, and nothing else, as a good thing. A law that examines actual consequences and has a sound and valid reasoning behind it is much more valuable to me than taking someone's word for it.