Sexual Orientation: Autosexuality?

Hi everyone. I'm new to the forum. I was searching for forums about sexuality and psychology, stumbled upon this site and thought it would be perfect for my question.

I'm an 18 year old female, and I've always considered myself to be heterosexual. I've been in a couple of serious relationships with men, and definitely felt attracted to them. (I'm technically a virgin as well).

Over the past year or so, I've been seriously working on improving my self esteem and sexual responsiveness. It has been a long but rewarding process. I used to have a rather negative self image. I used to be ashamed of being female, and I had great difficulty achieving orgasm or even feeling any sexual pleasure. Now, I have become very comfortable with my body and myself, and I would now classify myself as "easily orgasmic". It basically took a lot of reading, a lot of time and a couple of failed relationships for me to get to where I am. But I feel comfortable and happy. I'm now in a happy relationship with my boyfriend of 6 months.

Yeah everything above seems all fine and dandy until I bring up the fact that I think I may be sexually attracted to myself. I'm not exactly sure how this happened or why it came about. I don't really know what it means. I was reading a book about self-love (masturbation) and it suggested to masturbate in front of the mirror. I tried and I found myself extremely turned on by myself, especially if I was wearing something really "sexy". At first I thought it was cool, because sometimes I have a hard time getting aroused. Slipping into a sexy outfit and posing in front of the mirror became the surefire way to instant arousal for me.

I thought this was great until I began to wonder if this had anything to do with my sexual orientation. "Does this make me a lesbian?" I would ask myself. I don't specifically recall being attracted to other women, just myself. It seems really odd to me. Even if I were Lesbian or Bi, I would be okay with it, but I'm really happy with men and I can't see myself in a meaningful romantic relationship with a woman. Since I discovered this, I've been "testing" myself to see if other women turn me on. It doesn't seem to work.

The only logical, psychological explanation I can come up with is that through my "self-awareness" and "self-love" exercises, I developed this strong attraction to myself and my female body. My transformation was dramatic. I was a "tomboy" who always dressed in masculine clothes to hide the female body I used to be ashamed of, but now I'm an extremely feminine woman who loves to dress up, wear makeup and flaunt her body. I figured the term "Autosexuality" would work for this attraction, but it is technically defined as an attraction to only oneself and not other people. This isn't the case because I am still very attracted to my boyfriend.

Any information on the topic would be greatly appreciated. I have always had a love for psychology, and I really enjoy gaining knowledge about anything that I can. I would love to get some other people's input on this.

Thanks.

Hi,

I think I know what you are referring to and I have gone through the same thing. Sometimes, I would even imagine performing sexual acts on myself (I'm male, by the way; and am heterosexual). I believe it is just a phase of heightened sexual awareness where you begin to explore new avenues. It is really nothing to worry about though - I'm sure that most people would have gone through the same thing. Indeed, I went throuh it when I was around your current age.

Take care,
Kevin

Hello,
I have the same thing - I hate and love my appearance at the same time. When I have a certain haircut, I find myself disgusting, but when I have another haircut I find myself very attractive, and then I can go on and on describing how pretty and sexually attractive I am! Like you, I often masturbate in front of the mirror. It is odd, I know...But at least, you aren't one of those girls that do nothing but complain about their bodies. I bet men find you more attractive than girls with a low self-esteem. I also think it is a reaction on your baggy clothes-phase.
Good luck with your relationships with men!

Yeah, I am straight too, but when I lost a lot of weight, i looked good.

I wear colored men's underwear, but I pretended they was panties (I have a panty and ass fetish) and would turn myself on in the mirror, and watch myself masturbate. I pretended I was a woman, just for fantasy purposes. My face was shaven , and I had long hair. I did look like a girl. Maybe not an attractive one, but passable.

And that's probably because I could not find a real woman that could meet my needs. I couldn't get one, period., except I "dated" her for five years and she played "games" on me.

I am fat, but am trying to lose weight. I find that if a gal doesn't want me for who I am, I don't need her. I'll just have to please myself, lol.

P.S. I think it's HOT to hear about you gals masturbating in front of a mirror. Nothing to be ashamed of.

So being egoistic is actually a GOOD thing according to men Maybe that's why I usually don't like them...
Anyway, it sounds very weird what you are doing to me , I have never heard of another men who dressed up like a women for this reason. But..I kind of recognize it because when I still believed I was straight, I used to wear a men's coat, the same coat my "dream man" would wear. BUT...that brings back memories I do not want to bring back He was disgusting, the "dream man" I made up, and looking back, he was far from perfect.
It's good that you wanted to lose weight but you were also right with the "They should accept me as I am"-sentence. Are you attracted to girls with the same body type as you? Because they can't blame you for the way you look...Maybe they will find you attractive, too.

Egoism in a girl is okay, but only to some extent. Like, many men don't like the type of girl who thinks that every guy in every room she walks into is 'after' her - That type of girl turns me off instantly. Other types that turn me off are ones that wear too skimpy clothes, too much make-up, or who have fake tan on. I'll put it this way: If you are the girl who, at a party, is wearing a hoody, jeans, dirty runners, and has hair that is unbrushed and messy-looking, then you've got the golden ticket as far as I'm concerned.

I have to confess that I used to imagine myself as a girl too in some of my more bizarre fantasies. I never tried on women's clothing though, because I'd have been too uncomfortable with it.

I am not egotistic. I don't think I am better than anyone, but I also do not think anyone is better than me, no matter what they think.

On a woman, I like the butt. There are more erotic to me than breasts.

Oh, big breasts may get my attention, I want to see the butt.

I am not necessarily looking for a woman with the same body type as me, but I like a butt on a woman that really shows in tight jeans.

There was in a time, I was in Junior High. Some girl was sitting in front of me, and the seat had an opening in the back, and I was staring at her tight jeaned butt. I went home, with that image in my head, stroked a couple times, and it was over!! lol.

However, I won't turn down some gal who has a great personality, because that's more important than the package.