Masterbation pulls me out of my depression

i came to a realization today and i wanted to know if anyone else out there goes through the same thing. i thought perhaps it's something i created in my past (as a teen i masterbated a lot and was depressed alot). maybe i conditioned myself and didn't even know it.

so here's the thing:

i struggle with what i think is bipolar disorder. i feel depresssed more than anything else. typically sex is one of the last things on my mind when i'm feeling the torment of a sick mind riddled with sadness and especially when the tears are flowing and just won't stop. but i have discovered recently that if i masterbate or have sex and orgasm, then it almost instantly pulls me out of my deepest of depressions. it's like magic. the feelings are a complete 180. i almost forget that i was a mess with no enegry to do a thing only minutes ago. part of me is releaved to have this temporary cure but another part of me wonders what kind of trouble it will cause me beyond the depression.

i wonder if this is some kind of sexual disorder and what's behind all of this.

a side note: i read the guys post about masterbation causing him depression and i was shocked to read that he was having the complete opposite effects than me. bizarre.

any insight or information is much appreciated.

thanks for reading

my lifes a wasteland, im a narrissist. but i can escape if i do a big shot of meth and hit one. i know meth or drug are bad..OK i just don't care.
so relief is where i find it

As far as whether I am upped or downed by an orgasm just depends. Usually if Im tired, it perks me up and vise versa. I usually only masturbate to maintain myself for later sexual sessions. Other times, its just outta pure boredom.