Maybe someone can help

I can’t seem to diagnose my problem anymore. I do not know where to find an answer, it is an awful feeling. Am I even remotely into the thought of intimate connection? In theory when I think of it, it seems like a no-brainer, I am human, actively sexually stimulated at least with a phone and random nudes, but would it work the same when there is an actual human instead. I was under the impression that it would, but lately, I get the feeling maybe I am wrong. I have been around people, so close, and somehow the thought of them being there, maybe closer than usual and brushed up against me just makes me uncomfortable, doesn’t matter how much I like the person from a distance. I think I am asexual, atleast with other human beings. I fascinate over the idea of sex but the actual imagination of me being in that scenario only makes me uncomfortable. I do not think I am sexually repressed., but also I don’t know any better. Truth is I know nothing, I don’t know who I am attracted to. However, I definitely know who I am not attracted to and the problem is it is almost everyone I know. How the ###$ do I fix this one, no amount of planning and prepping can fix this. It has been ages since I probably felt that physical craving for another person and at this point, I am not even sure if the past was in fact real. I want to feel something for anyone so bad, just so I know that I am too capable of such feelings, of being attracted to people. I don’t think it is even just for men, although the opportunity to be with a man is much higher than for women. But I don’t feel anything even for women either, atleast for the ones I can physically see around me. The only people I am attracted to are people in phone screens, people my brain knows I will never be around and hence a good way to dodge the question of ‘Are you even attracted to real people in flesh and blood?’.
Maybe some background would make more sense, I am 25 and never been in any exclusive relation. I have been with people but I never tried to be committed to that, I dated multiple people at the same time and it helped with never getting sucked into one person, which happened twice; my first 'proper' relation with this girl and then another guy. I have slept with men and one woman, with men it has always been one time and then I immediately lost interest in the person. With this woman, I did sleep more than once, but it was about six years ago. So maybe I did not develop the one time behavior back then.
If someone has read this far, maybe you could help me with some questions I can ask myself. At this point I am clueless and have browsed through hundreds of blogs, forums, hoping I would find some answer.
Atleast maybe the right questions to ask myself to diagnose this problem.

Hey there,

There's clearly a lot of confusion going on here. Rather than trying to untangle that, let's focus on different explanations and how to determine if they apply to you.

- A decreased need for physical contact can stem from depression. You lose interest in things you were interested in before, which would explain how you believe to have experienced these feelings with others before and now you don't.
> Ask yourself if you've felt generally less motivated, more tired, mellow etc.

- You could be on the Ace spectrum. Being asexual simply means you don't experience sexual attraction towards a person. The act or thought of sex can still arouse you. This would explain why looking at pornographic content does work for you but you aren't triggered in the same way by the people in your life.
> Ask yourself, when you look at nudes etc, are you looking at the person or do you think something along the lines of "ooh they're naked/ they're getting it on/ having fun" and that stimulates your own fantasies and feelings of arousal.

- It could be that you're simply very picky. You haven't actually met someone you feel attracted to like from the pornographic content.
> If you figure you are attracted to the people on the nudes, then this is your likely answer.

- Another option could be that you've experienced something traumatic and are therefore touch or intimacy averse around other people.
> This might be tricky to figure out. Do you have a therapist? Any disorders you know of?

- Last thing I can come up with is that your libido is simply low. But this seems unlikely considering you mentioned being very sexual but simply not finding an in person outlet.

I hope this helps you find some answers. I struggled to find out my sexuality too and I'm still confused at times so don't stress about it. Do what makes you comfortable and don't force it.

~ Grey